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We are on a tighter budget now that we moved. SIL has a fundraiser coming up with the organization she works with. We would love to attend, but it's $50 per person, and we have to host our own table of 10. WTF? She has everybody in the family organized to certain tables, and put hubby and I by ourselves, and gave us one idea of whom to invite (no idea who that is) and we have to invite 2-3 couples. I think that is putting us in a kind of imposition. Attending is one thing, but hosting a table where we have to invite that many people is a stretch. It would have been nice if she would include us at one table with others. I realize it's a fundraiser. I am not big on formal gatherings, and neither is my husband. Of course it is putting us on the spot. My husband would be non-confrontational about it and just go with it, or perhaps give her some money, but I would say to him "Who would you invite? It's $50 a person. My husband has a large family, and I think that just inviting us to go and pay $50 would be enough. Should we just tell her that we tried to come up with some people but they said that it was too steep?
Just tell her you're on a tight budget and you can't afford to attend. Never feel guilty for not being able to attend an event that costs money, especially if it's just a fundraiser. I'm sure the organization will be alright if you and your husband don't attend. Spend half of that money on a nice stress free date for you and your husband and let the organization raise it's own funds.
Do you have the type of relationship where you can just say "We'd love to support the organization by donating (an amount you are comfortable with) but unfortunately, we cannot attend nor host a table."
I wouldn't have an issue saying to any member of my or my husband's family - "I'm sorry, our budget just doesn't allow us to afford $X amount right now. But I can donate $X."
When people are asking for donations, they should be prepared for people to say "No" and be okay with that. And it was quite presumptuous of her to assign you to hosting a table without asking first.
yes, really bad form to assign you to host a table without asking. I'm sure it's for a good cause like most of these things are, but agree what others have said. And don't get into a conversation or a negotiation about it. SImply state the reality and stick to it, firmly.
Just tell her the truth. You cannot afford it, so you are not going to host a table or try to strong-arm anyone else into attending or otherwise let her force you to do something not in your best interests.
Decline politely and stick to your decision. If she presses you, just keep repeating, "We're sorry, that will be impossible." Do not allow her to bully you into doing something you cannot afford. You don't need to make elaborate excuses or try to offer any kind of alternative or peace offering or substitute or anything else. Just tell her the truth, kindly but firmly, and stick to it.
We are on a tighter budget now that we moved. SIL has a fundraiser coming up with the organization she works with. We would love to attend, but it's $50 per person, and we have to host our own table of 10. WTF? She has everybody in the family organized to certain tables, and put hubby and I by ourselves, and gave us one idea of whom to invite (no idea who that is) and we have to invite 2-3 couples. I think that is putting us in a kind of imposition. Attending is one thing, but hosting a table where we have to invite that many people is a stretch. It would have been nice if she would include us at one table with others. I realize it's a fundraiser. I am not big on formal gatherings, and neither is my husband. Of course it is putting us on the spot. My husband would be non-confrontational about it and just go with it, or perhaps give her some money, but I would say to him "Who would you invite? It's $50 a person. My husband has a large family, and I think that just inviting us to go and pay $50 would be enough. Should we just tell her that we tried to come up with some people but they said that it was too steep?
That's really presumptuous. Frankly, it sounds like she's more concerned about her event and making it successful than she is about her brother and whatever his economic situation might be. Politely decline.
Maybe your sister-in-law is a lovely person who is truly committed to the cause (although the cause may in part be keeping up the funding that pays her salary), but who the hell does she think she is assigning you the obligation to raise $500 for her organization?
You don't have to populate a table of ten, you don't have to invite anyone, and you don't have to go and spend $100 you don't have on a cause that isn't your cause.
Just tell her you can't do it. Or, if you don't want to be confrontational, just ignore all communications from her about this and don't show up. When she asks you about it your answer is, "I never agreed to do anything like that."
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