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We are on a tighter budget now that we moved. SIL has a fundraiser coming up with the organization she works with. We would love to attend, but it's $50 per person, and we have to host our own table of 10. WTF? She has everybody in the family organized to certain tables, and put hubby and I by ourselves, and gave us one idea of whom to invite (no idea who that is) and we have to invite 2-3 couples. I think that is putting us in a kind of imposition. Attending is one thing, but hosting a table where we have to invite that many people is a stretch. It would have been nice if she would include us at one table with others. I realize it's a fundraiser. I am not big on formal gatherings, and neither is my husband. Of course it is putting us on the spot. My husband would be non-confrontational about it and just go with it, or perhaps give her some money, but I would say to him "Who would you invite? It's $50 a person. My husband has a large family, and I think that just inviting us to go and pay $50 would be enough. Should we just tell her that we tried to come up with some people but they said that it was too steep?
No, because your final sentence is a lie. Tell her that you will be happy to attend the fundraiser (sounds like you don't mind doing that in one sentence, although you later added you are "not big on formal gatherings") and pay for your own $50 plate each at a table. If you can get another couple or two to join you, that's great, but don't promise what you can't deliver.
This will not end. If you allow her to do this to you, she will keep right on each year, each quarter, each fundraising goal....
Control your own life and your own charitable giving. If you knew what I know about how most non profits spend their funds, you wouldn't be so eager to give them a dime anyway.
But that is beside the point, your SIL is a pushy woman whose actions regarding plans for you needs be nipped in the bud. That is outrageous. How dare she.
I'm sorry we decline your offer . Or don't say the sorry part. And do not give her money unless you plan to keep right on giving each time.
This is too nice. The SIL is the one who owes the apology! Just tell her no, you won't be able to do it.
I allow for being nice. Here is why: SIL assumes that everyone is in the same financial position that she is in. Maybe the OP appears to be in a similar position. The OP, seemed to mention that doing this would not be in their best interest because of their financial situation. Many people do not want others around them to know if they are doing bad or are in a bind. I have been there and with some family members it is hard to "compete" if that is the right word.
Just telling her no is easy and recommended as well. I just thought she may be looking for an easy out that does not share the personal situation that she may be going thru.
Inviting you to attend is one thing but asking you to get other people to attend is another. That makes you have to do work for her cause and with no benefit to you. How do you find 1 couple, much less 3, that would want to spend the evening at a fund raiser for a cause that they may not have any interest in? Shouldn't the organization have a list of supporters that they would send invites out to? Not just random friends of employees' relatives?
We are on a tighter budget now that we moved. SIL has a fundraiser coming up with the organization she works with. We would love to attend, but it's $50 per person, and we have to host our own table of 10. WTF? She has everybody in the family organized to certain tables, and put hubby and I by ourselves, and gave us one idea of whom to invite (no idea who that is) and we have to invite 2-3 couples. I think that is putting us in a kind of imposition. Attending is one thing, but hosting a table where we have to invite that many people is a stretch. It would have been nice if she would include us at one table with others. I realize it's a fundraiser. I am not big on formal gatherings, and neither is my husband. Of course it is putting us on the spot. My husband would be non-confrontational about it and just go with it, or perhaps give her some money, but I would say to him "Who would you invite? It's $50 a person. My husband has a large family, and I think that just inviting us to go and pay $50 would be enough. Should we just tell her that we tried to come up with some people but they said that it was too steep?
I should Dino,y say
SIL while we would love to attend your fundraiser I'm deeply sorry but we must bow out. At this time our finances simply dictate our efforts to go toward other things. We're sorry we cannot support your fundraiser.
The more excuses you come up with the more she will argue with you.
It is not her business what your finances are. A simple I am sorry but it is not possible. If she continues to ask, continue to repeat.
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