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A house with 4 people living in it should be affordable.
You would have to work full time, and go to school part time instead of the other way around.
As of your sisters, this isn't the first time I've heard of sisters ganging up on each other (I'm assuming you're not a guy).
If you can't give them a good beat down (my first recommendation), look into taking an assertiveness training course (do they still have those?) or get free counseling at your college or at a free clinic assuming you live in a city (you say rents are high; so it's a fair assumption that you do.)
It sounds like you've never learned how to stand up to people. You're not alone in this.
Last, your mother is sending you a very clear message that she wants your behavior to change or for you to get out of her house.
Even if nothing is your fault, she has a right not to have you living there at your age.
Hope that helps.
On a positive note, I think you'll be a lot happier once you get out of the toxic situation you're in. Even though doing so isn't easy.
I dont know how many times I have to explain this. Going to college full time and working part time is not enough to make it on my own. The area where I live rent is skyrocketing and I simply cannot afford to move out on my own at this time until I have graduated and get a job where I will be able to support myself financially. I am doing the best I can in the situation I am in currently.
Have you told your mom how much you appreciate what she's giving you by allowing you to stay there for nothing? Give her a big hug, tell her and keep your room clean from now on.
Yeah I just dont think I will have a strong relationship with mine even after I move out of the house. We really have never been close so its probably going to always be this way.
My sister and I are not close and that happens in families more often then you think it would. You don't have to be best friends, but you can't choose your family. Think about along time from now. Someday mom will be old and need help and you all will have to work together. Its the place I'm at right now and it is best if things have been kept civil and you try to get along.
My mom is a very cold person. She is very emotionally unstable. She thinks crying is a sign of weakness and if she sees me upset she is not the type to talk to me about it or comfort me. She snaps at every little thing and it's making me miserable. My sister's don't understand what I go through with her because they don't live at home and see how she really is. Another one of the big reasons why my relationship with all of them is messed up.
Do you know what triangulation is? An adult mom can speak for herself -- not through her other kids. That's just wrong that she would talk badly about one kid to the others.
Mean, abusive people can find any -- any -- reason to attack: you made broccoli? You know I hate broccoli! You left the tricycle in the driveway! You took the last towel and I needed it for a shower! What?! You ate the last cookie. You're breathing my air! You're so selfish.
That's what abusive people do. They justify their anger as in, "you made me mad!" If you were a better/cleaner/skinnier/less sensitive/whatever person, I wouldn't be so mad at you.
That's how abusive people roll, people! Look up the "abuse cycle."
Come on! Even if your parents were good, haven't any of you had a rotten boss? Or neighbor? Or friend?
Sadly, these people are in large numbers.
Alley
Clearly, her mother can speak for herself, but may not be doing so. And, of course, it's wrong if she's speaking badly about one daughter to another. Doesn't mean it isn't happening.
We're hearing only one side of this story. I was offering the suggestion that perhaps the OP, while not meaning to, may be contributing to the issues. IMO it's always valid to examine our own behaviors to be sure.
Sorry you found that offensive and needed to respond in an abusive way. Maybe you need read your own post about how abusive people can find any reason to attack........
Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a very tough thing to deal with in a parent. They don't get better. They use and use and use. If they need someone to kick around -- they'll keep you around.
Read the article and then Google NPD: Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
And remember, when people on here are implying that you're ungrateful, they haven't likely encountered a parent with NPD (they don't even know that they don't know). NPD people are horrible to grow up around.
You need to be stealthy: graduate and make a plan to quietly move out. Even if it takes months. Go slowly and don't make a lot of noise/drama about moving. When it's finally obvious what you're doing just say quietly and firmly that you found a place etc. Act as matter-of-fact as possible. If you tell these people too much, they try to squash your plans and ideas.
PM me if you need more info., but start with the above article and Google NPD.
Take good care of yourself,
Alley
Those who have not been through it cannot understand.
My mom is a very cold person. She is very emotionally unstable. She thinks crying is a sign of weakness and if she sees me upset she is not the type to talk to me about it or comfort me. She snaps at every little thing and it's making me miserable. My sister's don't understand what I go through with her because they don't live at home and see how she really is. Another one of the big reasons why my relationship with all of them is messed up.
It just sounds to me like a relationship where two people are just sick and tired of living with each other. Your mom is reacting by snapping at you about everything. How a person is to a visitor is different from how she is to someone living with her. That's not uncommon. My sister and I want to kill each other when we are roommates, but get along fine if we live apart. We simply accept that we become two completely obnoxious human beings as roommates and are not compatible whatsoever in that capacity. It is to the extent that my friends will not speak to me because it becomes this sort of all-consuming hatred of my sister, and apparently my sister's reaction to the experience is similar. Once we come out of it we are kind of like "Phew, that was horrible, glad we didn't stab each other" because we're siblings. I would not say that we are emotionally unstable people, but when living together? Absolutely. We are crazed and obsessed with how much we annoy each other. It's this dramatic transformation.
I don't think that people's suggestion that you move out, even if it means having 2-3 roommates, can be understated. Your mother has helped you this far, but it sounds like you've become too miserable at this point to continue. Once you move out, you will probably feel a weight lifted off your back.
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