Friend was touched inappropriately while unconscious (husband, person, member, toxic)
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Everyone that is saying "she should have known better" or "She shouldn't drink to blacking out" is victim blaming. Should she have done that? Absolutely not. However if a woman does not give consent or is too drunk to give consent she is violated plain and simple. This is not a gray area.
It does sound from the OP that the guy did stop when she said stop. However imagine all the women that this has happened to not coming forward because of being judged by everyone.
"she has no one to blame but herself" or the real moral of the story is "her alcohol abuse"
No it is not! I read an article that I thought summed this up beautifully. A guy passes out and I take his wallet go and charge $$$$$ of dollars worth of merchandise. He never said no so he wanted to give it to me right? He left his wallet there for the taking, it isn't my fault he was so drunk I couldn't understand that he wanted to keep his money.
Stop the victim blaming.
Well said. I started to type out a similar reply but am still too upset after reading most of these other replies to be coherent/not cuss.
Look, a guy this girl barely knows takes her in his car, she is pass out drunk, she goes to his bed, she tells him no and he stops and HE is the bad guy for misreading her signals.....Give me a break! She was giving a go signal up until she said no....She is lucky she didn't get raped.....Very bad and stupid judgment on her part!!
SHE WAS UNCONSCIOUS. If that's your idea of "giving a go signal"....
For some crazy reason it won't pull in just 68551 quote so:
First you asked...
Can we not agree that HER actions caused what happened?
Then you said.......
At any point in the story SHE could have changed the outcome
1. SHE could have drank less--This did not cause her to be touched inappropriately
2. SHE could have accepted a ride from someone she trusted and knew better (but because of "1" she was thinking with a clouded mind This did not cause her to be touched inappropriately
3. SHE could have called a cab (see #2) This did not cause her to be touched inappropriately
4. SHE could have gone to her own house instead of his This did not cause her to be touched inappropriately
5. SHE could have resisted going in his bed This did not cause her to be touched inappropriately
Again I will say she was too drunk to make a decision. How about flip it? Where is his responsibility?
1. HE should have realized she had too much to drink
2. HE could have offered to bring her back to her house
3. HE could have called her a cab to help her out
4. HE COULD HAVE RESISTED!
No, she was giving signals to the guy that she would be accepting of his advances BY doing all 5 things....She put the brakes on by saying NO and he stopped.....What is the problem? He can't get to third base until he tries the other two. Thinking otherwise means ALL OF US HAVE BEEN ACOSTED BECAUSE AT ONE POINT IN OUR LIVES WE HAVE SAID NO
But you know its different for Hillary....She lives under a different set of rules than the rest of us common folk!!
And that is the literal truth, unfortunately. People drawing lines in the sand over a little bit of drunken panty grabbing(that stopped when she said no, by the way) are going to be in for a rude awakening when the fundamental transformation they're shoving down out throats is finally complete.
Oh yeah that totally makes it OK to stick your hand in an unconscious woman's underwear.
I agree the friend likely has no actual recourse, but the general attitude of the people on this thread is really, REALLY scary.
You should see the thread about a guy who was convicted of sexual assault after he's seen on surveillance tape bringing a woman to a hotel room who was so smashed she couldn't walk or stand under her own power -- and that was BEFORE the three drinks he gave her (also on tape) just 20 minutes prior had even taken full effect. There you have clear and obvious evidence of her state of extreme intoxication and people are STILL up in arms that he was convicted.
Well said. I started to type out a similar reply but am still too upset after reading most of these other replies to be coherent/not cuss.
And I'm sure you'll take that righteous indignation with you right in to the voting booth as you pull the lever for a woman who has publicly and repeatedly victim shamed women who have been accusing her husband of doing a lot worse than is alleged to have happened in this thread.
Again I will say she was too drunk to make a decision. How about flip it? Where is his responsibility?
1. HE should have realized she had too much to drink
2. HE could have offered to bring her back to her house
3. HE could have called her a cab to help her out
4. HE COULD HAVE RESISTED!
Either you are very young or you need to realize this is the REAL WORLD.....You need to be responsible for yourself.....The "village" is not going to help you!!
Either you are very young or you need to realize this is the REAL WORLD.....You need to be responsible for yourself.....The "village" is not going to help you!!
So she's not only responsible for her own behavior, she's responsible for his as well?
Look, a guy this girl barely knows takes her in his car, she is pass out drunk, she goes to his bed, she tells him no and he stops and HE is the bad guy for misreading her signals.....Give me a break! She was giving a go signal up until she said no....She is lucky she didn't get raped.....Very bad and stupid judgment on her part!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by 68551
At any point in the story SHE could have changed the outcome
1. SHE could have drank less
2. SHE could have accepted a ride from someone she trusted and knew better (but because of "1" she was thinking with a clouded mind
3. SHE could have called a cab (see #2)
4. SHE could have gone to her own house instead of his
5. SHE could have resisted going in his bed
Ps.....With all of the above 5 SHE was giving the green light and at any break in the 1,2,3,4 or 5 SHE could have changed the outcome
There are women who are definitely raped that are not at all compliant and because of women like this they are not believed.
BTW....I am a woman and would NEVER get myself into a situation like this.
Gross. The default consent status is not "yes, unless she says otherwise." Gross gross gross.
At any point in the story SHE could have changed the outcome
1. SHE could have drank less
2. SHE could have accepted a ride from someone she trusted and knew better (but because of "1" she was thinking with a clouded mind
3. SHE could have called a cab (see #2)
4. SHE could have gone to her own house instead of his
5. SHE could have resisted going in his bed
Ps.....With all of the above 5 SHE was giving the green light and at any break in the 1,2,3,4 or 5 SHE could have changed the outcome
NONE of these things gave him permission to shove his hand in her pants when she was unconscious!!!
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