Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Are you familiar with D.C.? Is this how people usually behave there? I'm sure Doglover29 needs insight like this so she knows it's not her.
I have 2 friends that moved there from the West to take government jobs - one is an attorney and the other does medical statistics research. Both liked the more intellectual feeling but they said it is "transient" because of the political revolving door (Dems or Repubs) and can be a little sterile / bureaucratic. Both have stayed, though, because they have good jobs.
Exactly. I'm a shy person and I hate being the initiator as it is. When the other person doesn't show interest makes it worse.
I move to where I am at a year ago and have yet to make any new friends. I'm shy and pretty much a loaner. I tell myself I am meant to be alone, but that doesn't make the loneliness go away.
No one is meant to be alone. Don't give up. Maybe you could go to a local church and join the choir or a church group?
I have 2 friends that moved there from the West to take government jobs - one is an attorney and the other does medical statistics research. Both liked the more intellectual feeling but they said it is "transient" because of the political revolving door (Dems or Repubs) and can be a little sterile / bureaucratic. Both have stayed, though, because they have good jobs.
Nothing like first-hand insight. Maybe your two friends could meet Mr. and Mrs. Doglover29!
I'm an outgoing and chatty person, and I enjoy talking with others. At work, I like to chat with the other women but I feel that they're not very interested in me. It's disheartening. I'm tired of always being the initiator.
Today, for instance, I was chatting with one co-worker about her weekend. I always ask questions to the other person to show my interest, because I am genuinely interested. She didn't ask me about mine, and she seemed to want to get back to work. This kind of thing is always happening--I show interest in the other person and it's not reciprocated.
Maybe I need a friend coach--someone who can tell me if I'm doing something wrong when I try to make friends. Though I never had problems making friends in college or grad school, but then again, those were environments where making friends comes easily.
I know exactly what you're going through, Washington, DC is a tough place to make friends, everybody's in a hurry or they're worried about their job or focused on business and government or other things that seem to take up their time it's the nature of the city and making friends is not easy. I lived in the metropolitan Washington, DC area for over 60 years so I know what you're talking about. You being a married couple in your early 30s and no children is a little unusual in that area, and people are going to be a little leery about an outgoing personality such as yourself, some of the single women are going to be jealous of you because of the situation that you are in. Have you tried going down into Georgetown on the weekend or the Adams Morgan area or even Foggy Bottom there are some decent restaurants and nightclubs down there and on Friday and Saturday nights it seems as though a lot of the young professionals are in that area maybe you and your husband might be able to make some friends down in that area, wouldn't hurt to give it a try. And you can always come back here to CD and conversed with us, I'm sure you'll always be welcome.
I think making new friends is difficult. I am planning a move in a few months and won't really know anyone. I met a couple of neighbor women last summer and maybe??? It is so hard to say what makes really good friends click. One of my bestest guy friends died a few years ago. I knew all three of his x-wives. We were all sitting around talking about missing him and I had to speak up and say that I thought it was harder to replace a cose friend than it was a husband.
Good luck. I think it would be good to join clubs, volunteer, and remember it is always good to keep happy thoughts.
It's interesting....my husband and I have lived here in our new city for a year and a half now. We moved here knowing no one.
Anyhow, I have reached the point where I'm no longer lonely--not because I have friends but just because I've gotten fed up with how hard it is to make friends and for some reason I don't feel that pang of lonliness that I used to.
I am in the same boat. I do not have any girlfriends at all. It's hard to find friends. There are so many guys that want to talk to me but I am married already. I haven't met any girl that would wanted to be a friend ...
I had so many great friends... but i am so far away from them now. I do not put as much effort in looking for new friends anymore. I am tired of it.
I talk to my old ones on-line.
I completely understand what you mean Doglover. We move around a lot since my hubby is in the Navy. He's getting out in 51 days(not that I'm counting or extremely excited) and we'll be moving again. Right now I have no local friends. When we moved we knew a few couples who were transferring as well. We all hung out. I actually got pretty close to 2 women. Unfortunately I have high standards for my friends and we are no longer friends. We we first moved I tried to make friends with other moms from school, but I am significantly younger than most other moms with kids my age. I told hubby to invite people from work over. He said it felt like he was hitting on other guys. Yes, it gets lonely. Luckily I have a friend I met at one duty station that is very close. While I've given up on people here, I'm extremely optimistic about our prospects. We will be moving to a really small town. Hopefully we'll have no choice but to meet people. It could always be worse. You could get stuck with crazy people.
I am YOU in Florida! i went for so long, just trying to make friends. I am a bit more on the quiet side, and more of a homebody. But I needed that one person I could be a "girl" with. All my situations are similar, Id think I found a new best friend, and boom, they drop me like trash. Either that, or a meet a new group of people and it turns into high school all over again. My husband and I still have no friends. We depend on family. I have found Most women (Im 31), and no offense taken please, to be catty, and competitive
not to mention just plain mean. Upon our move 2 years ago, i tried to reach out but was only hurt and left in tears that I gave up. I am a good person, and a very loyal friend and I am STILL tired of being hurt. I am very sensitive, and have grown to realize that I dont NEED friends. As you said, more drama-- Instead I focus on my quiet little life with my husband and children, and depend on my family. The world is full of mean people, and I don't want to be associated with them. I can be labeled as anti social, or as having social anxiety (in a sense I am) but I AM HAPPY!
I'm at the point where I really just don't care about having "friends" anymore, like many of you.
If a person is happy and content, then why let it bother you? I enjoy living and I enjoy my life and my family. I spend time with people that I truly care about and people who care about me. I'm a homebody, although I really don't have any social anxiety or anything like that; I'm not shy at all. I could walk into a roomful of strangers and make conversation, just because I really do like people and I enjoy meeting them and just marvelling at how difference people can be and all the different experiences they bring to you......even with that, I really don't have many friends right now, but I know that, more than likely, it's a phase.
Life is just one phase after another and things change.
But even if I don't have any friends later and it stays like this, I will still be happy.
I'm very grateful to have my dear husband and my children.
Doglover...have you ever figured out what type of friends you want? I mean I do agree it is difficult to make friends at times in a new location; I've been here in Phoenix for about a year and really haven't made that many friends. There are some people at work I speak with but until I hang out with them outside of work, there isn't a possibility of becoming "friends". To me, the ultimate test with co-workers graduating to the friend level comes when you hang with a co-worker outside of work. But that's my philosophy. But I also told myself I didn't want to make friends when moving to Arizona. I had enough back home in California to keep up with that I didn't put forth any effort.
I wish you the best of luck...remember, it's not you...maybe you just have clicked with anyone on that friendship level.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
... 
) and we'll be moving again. Right now I have no local friends. When we moved we knew a few couples who were transferring as well. We all hung out. I actually got pretty close to 2 women. Unfortunately I have high standards for my friends and we are no longer friends. We we first moved I tried to make friends with other moms from school, but I am significantly younger than most other moms with kids my age. I told hubby to invite people from work over. He said it felt like he was hitting on other guys.
Yes, it gets lonely. Luckily I have a friend I met at one duty station that is very close. While I've given up on people here, I'm extremely optimistic about our prospects. We will be moving to a really small town. Hopefully we'll have no choice but to meet people. It could always be worse. You could get stuck with crazy people.
