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Are they are young couple? My guess would be they had a fight over something and one of them refused to come. Stupid and rude, but certainly not an indictment of you. I certainly wouldn't make the next overture, but I also wouldn't turn down another attempt to get together if they offered.
I see I'm not the only one thinking a fight was the cause..
Things can come up at the last minute that prevent people from coming to an event they were invited to, but IMO, it's the height of inconsideration not to at least let their hosts know they are unable to attend the event. It's even worse when the host has to make the contact with the no-shows and is blown off like the OP appears to be.
IMO, too many people seem to think it's perfectly ok not to notify a host, employer, health care provider, and so on when they don't plan to, or can't attend an event they had RSVPed to saying they would be there. I've seen that happen with applicants for a job, people who said they would attend a party, wedding, dinner, people who don't show up for scheduled doctor's appointments.
What's surprised me when I've been the host, or involved in the job interview or event where the person didn't show up was his/her attitude when I was able to contact them-generally they blew it off, didn't apologize, and it hadn't even occurred to them to notify anyone that they wouldn't be there. And the inconvenience to the host? Never even thought of that.
I know when I'm "stood up" by someone who acts that way, unless there is a very good reason for their behavior, I'm done with them as I don't care to deal with people who are that undependable. And figuring that in this day and age where most folks have their Smart phones, texting and instant communication, there is no reason for a quick phone call, or text letting the people know they won't be at an event they had promised to attend.
Please...nothing came up. They didn't want to be bothered.
Did you not read what the OP wrote? The OP texted them telling them dinner was at 4pm, their response was they would let her know later what time they were coming.
They had no intention of coming, or just some basic manners to say they're not coming.
This would be beyond rude if this was a relative or a friend, but someone you just met and invite into your home, and that's how they act? Screw that.
Unless they were in a car accident, or got news that one of their relatives back in their home state is in the ICU and it's not looking good, no excuse for this.
OP, you're in a new state, find new friends in your new state who have some class and manners. They do exist.
Just because these two dolts are from your home state doesn't mean you have anything else in common.
Going by what you wrote and how you extended yourself, and got this treatment, you don't.
Exactly, and what's the deal with telling someone they will let them know when they will show up when they're informed the dinner is at 4PM??? There is a clue there, IMO, that the guests had no intention of taking the dinner invite seriously.
In the OP's shoes, I'd cross these folks off my list of potential new friends.
I agree. IMO, Thanksgiving is for family or close friends and people that you know well. If it were just the OP, her husband, and this couple, that sounds odd considering that she just met them.
That being said if the couple felt that way they should have just said no.
To quote Judge Judy, 'That should have been OP's first clue." The fact that she had to keep asking should have sent up a red flag. The couple obviously wasn't interested.
It means what it says. If someone you just met asks you for Thanksgiving dinner, you wouldn't find that odd. And the OP and this couple aren't 'friends' - not yet. The OP kept asking, which seems needy to me.
Confirming means asking once. If you have to keep asking the answer is obvious.
Thanksgiving is for family or close friends when you live near them or plan to travel to them.
When you just get done relocating to a new state, they're not with you and it may not be possible to fly or drive back to your home state for various reasons.
Did you miss the part where the OP and her husband just moved to a new state? The other couple also just moved to this area from the same state?
Nothing odd at all about this, other than the rudeness of the invited couple.
I guess you have always lived in the same place, and don't know what it is like to move somewhere where there is no family around, or long time friends, so you have to meet people.
It was dinner, not a request to join them on a cross country drive or two weeks in Europe.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Travelassie
Exactly, and what's the deal with telling someone they will let them know when they will show up when they're informed the dinner is at 4PM??? There is a clue there, IMO, that the guests had no intention of taking the dinner invite seriously.
In the OP's shoes, I'd cross these folks off my list of potential new friends.
Oh they had no intention of coming, maybe at first they did, but they had already decided they weren't going and couldn't be bothered to just call and make up an excuse. I loved how they told the husband they were already eating....real classy.
I would say "hello" to these people if I ran into them somewhere and keep walking.
Things can come up at the last minute that prevent people from coming to an event they were invited to, but IMO, it's the height of inconsideration not to at least let their hosts know they are unable to attend the event. It's even worse when the host has to make the contact with the no-shows and is blown off like the OP appears to be.
IMO, too many people seem to think it's perfectly ok not to notify a host, employer, health care provider, and so on when they don't plan to, or can't attend an event they had RSVPed to saying they would be there. I've seen that happen with applicants for a job, people who said they would attend a party, wedding, dinner, people who don't show up for scheduled doctor's appointments.
What's surprised me when I've been the host, or involved in the job interview or event where the person didn't show up was his/her attitude when I was able to contact them-generally they blew it off, didn't apologize, and it hadn't even occurred to them to notify anyone that they wouldn't be there. And the inconvenience to the host? Never even thought of that.
I know when I'm "stood up" by someone who acts that way, unless there is a very good reason for their behavior, I'm done with them as I don't care to deal with people who are that undependable. And figuring that in this day and age where most folks have their Smart phones, texting and instant communication, there is no reason for a quick phone call, or text letting the people know they won't be at an event they had promised to attend.
I agree, and I wasn't making excuses for their rudeness. My post was in response to another poster telling the OP these "guests" didn't like them. I don't think it was about the OP and her husband at all.
But based on the fact that the first time they got together they enjoyed their company, and recognizing that when one first moves away from family and friends the holidays can be an emotional pity party, should the other couple make an overture sometime in the future, I'd probably give them another chance.
Or maybe they're just rude dolts, and the OP is well rid of them.
Uh, no. I think they just completely dissed you...You confirmed earlier this week and they just didn't bother to show up or contact you sooner?
Their response is strange. I've met people like this. Being friends with them is impossible because you can never connect, and are always left feeling like you are the one communicating poorly when in fact they are just responding strangely. Not worth the effort, IMHO.
For lords sake, they left you hanging on THANKSGIVING! Why would you WANT to be friends with them?
No second chances in my book for anyone who does this to you. Don't invest another second. Not even a text. Unless you just want to send them a bill for the extra money you spent.
Anyone who does this for any reason (er, I mean excuse), will do it again.
Is there no room in people's heart for forgiveness? Sure, what they did was crass. But who knows what the reason was? Something big may have come up. I'm amazed at how quickly people are willing to throw away relationships around here. One rude act, and sayonara. If you ditch people for every little wrongdoing, you'll soon find yourself alone. I say give them one more chance. If they do it again, then get rid of them.
I agree, and I wasn't making excuses for their rudeness. My post was in response to another poster telling the OP these "guests" didn't like them. I don't think it was about the OP and her husband at all.
But based on the fact that the first time they got together they enjoyed their company, and recognizing that when one first moves away from family and friends the holidays can be an emotional pity party, should the other couple make an overture sometime in the future, I'd probably give them another chance.
Or maybe they're just rude dolts, and the OP is well rid of them.
It doesn't matter who it is about. Whether this couple had a fight, or decided they don't like the OP and her husband.
They were invited to dinner, accepted and were bringing a dish, and than were MIA.
There is no "maybe", they're rude dolts.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Scooby Snacks
Is there no room in people's heart for forgiveness? Sure, what they did was crass. But who knows what the reason was? Something big may have come up. I'm amazed at how quickly people are willing to throw away relationships around here. One rude act, and sayonara. If you ditch people for every little wrongdoing, you'll soon find yourself alone. I say give them one more chance. If they do it again, then get rid of them.
Come on, this isn't a family member or long time friend who did this. Who otherwise has always treated you decently. Those are people you forgive.
Someone calls at the last minute and cancels, OK, you give them a pass. But not when they decide not to show and not let you know. It was the OP's husband who contacted them when it was getting close to dinner time and not a peep from them.
Something big may have come up? Did you read what the OP wrote? Nothing big came up, they didn't want to bothered, even telling the OP's husband they were already eating.
Hello, they were invited for dinner and accepted, and than couldn't be bothered to just call and say we're not coming.
No wonder lack of common courtesy seems to going by the wayside, nonsense excuses like yours.
Had they done that, than yes, give them another chance.
But they didn't have the basic decency to do that.
Last edited by seain dublin; 11-26-2016 at 10:21 AM..
We had something similar happen with new friends that were supposed to come and have dinner with us years ago. He called and cancelled at the last minute because they were breaking up. Okay, what ever. Well he wound up married to her and tried several times for us to get back together. I refused and the friendship fizzled, much to my husbands dismay.
Fast forward about 5 years when I ran into him by accident. He's divorced from whack job so I decide to try to bring him and my husband back together again. We made plans to do something, he cancels at the last minute. Here we go again. He was in my life for 6 months and the grief and hurtful things he said to me took about 2 years to get over. He was definitely not worth the effort, just as I had expected those many years ago. Do yourself a favor and find nice, responsible people to be with. I would not give them a second chance unless they had a really good reason as to why they couldn't be considerate enough to tell you that they weren't coming.
It doesn't matter who it is about. Whether this couple had a fight, or decided they don't like the OP and her husband.
They were invited to dinner, accepted and were bringing a dish, and than were MIA.
There is no "maybe", they're rude dolts.
Come on, this isn't a family member or long time friend who did this. Who otherwise has always treated you decently. Those are people you forgive.
Someone calls at the last minute and cancels, OK, you give them a pass. But not when they decide not to show and not let you know. It was the OP's husband who contacted them when it was getting close to dinner time and not a peep from them.
Something big may have come up? Did you read what the OP wrote? Nothing big came up, they didn't want to bothered, even telling the OP's husband they were already eating.
Hello, they were invited for dinner and accepted, and than couldn't be bothered to just call and say we're not coming.
No wonder lack of common courtesy seems to going by the wayside, nonsense excuses like yours.
Had they done that, than yes, give them another chance.
But they didn't have the basic decency to do that.
I can't rep you again yet, but, yeah. What you said.
They're obviously not interested being friends with you, if this is how they treat you when you invite them over for Thanksgiving dinner. I don't understand why you'd entertain the thought of giving them another chance to kick you in the arse again. Why you would want a "friendship" with people like that?
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