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Location: Finally the house is done and we are in Port St. Lucie!
3,487 posts, read 3,361,600 times
Reputation: 9914
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikala43
Op, you are going to have to do what we do, can't have the lower spectrum interfering with our festivities:
First you will need to review their tax returns. Everyone knows the rich are better people.
Second, you will need to give them a quiz on how to behave as a guest. You know how those "new" money people are. /shudder
Third, you will need to print out an agenda on how the night will run. No getting a beer before everyone arrives!!!
I'm not sure how you will weed out the in-laws you complained about, how could you allow a marriage outside of the 1%? Tsk tsk.
Ya know this is going to go right over his head? Right?
Quote:
Originally Posted by vision33r
Sure, that was exactly what I am trying to avoid but it's evidently clear that we're well to do and the people that were invited aren't as successful as we are and may view us as being snobby and entitled. We're not on even grounds here.
My issue is with my sister but I always try to show support and not cause conflicts within the family. My golden rule is I can turn my back on anyone not my family.
I have nothing against my brother in law I think he's a good man but they are too liberal and trusting of other people and can be easily taken advantage of.
That's similar to one instance where a female friend of my sister came and was in similar situation and she smokes while nobody in our family does. And she has very bad table manners too, sort of like a hippie chick that never grew up. She came to our dinner and ate like she has not eaten for years. I have no problems with feeding people food we have plenty but that's not the kind of character we would like to invite often.
Bottomline is that I just want an uneventful dinner and go home safely I felt that I was constantly trying to avoid eye contact or conversation with the wrong people while my family expects me to keep the guests company. I think I rather change shoes with my mother and prepare the food than find something to talk about with some guests that don't have the opportunity or privilege we've obtained.
You really don't come off as a sympathetic cause. I would suggest you volunteer at some food banks on Thanksgiving and really open your eyes and mind to others that are less fortunate.
Quote:
Originally Posted by NY Annie
Sorry to jump on you yet again, OP but that last sentence just irks the bejeesus out of me. "some guests...don't have the opportunity..." WOW, so someone who hasn't had the chance to become wealthy, uber educated (I hate that word "uber" but used it just for you), or to learn proper manners, especially table manners, shouldn't be given the opportunity to better one's self - even if just by seeing how the "upper crust" lives and dines.
And even worse "...privilege we've obtained." So by virtue of your advanced degrees and money/income, you've been granted privilege?
BARF!
BTW, I grew up well-to-do, with a summer beach house on the Jersey shore, country club, and we lived in a very upscale neighborhood where my neighbors were doctors, lawyers, college professors, bankers, etc. Our family table was often home to many of those less fortunate, as were the tables of my neighbors and school friends.
You've got a fat head and an attitude. Your mother must be ashamed of you. I would be.
Might be why she disappears after the dinner is made.
Quote:
Originally Posted by cpg35223
In a way, this is the classic CD Relationships thread. The normal pattern is as follows:
1) OP comes up with a complaint or problem that is way beyond the realm of normal behavior, only is too neurotic or lacks the self-awareness to realize it.
2) Everybody else with a lick of common sense piles on and tells the OP how dumb or how big a brat he or she is being.
3) OP, shocked that nobody is taking his or her side, decides to embellish his or her original post in hopes that new evidence (Real or ginned up whole cloth) will justify the original post.
4) Everybody else with a lick of common sense finds even more things to find fault with, piling on further. Analysis of the OP's posts reaches almost Talmudic levels of hair-splitting. Postgraduate deconstruction seminars finally come in handy.
5) Finally, a misguided somebody who didn't carefully read the OP carefully from the beginning, chimes in as a sympathetic voice.
6) Everybody piles on the second person. Terms such as 'quisling' and 'noxious halfwit' would be used freely if not for fear of TOS violations.
7) Another person entirely brings up their own anecdote, only tangentially related to the OP's.
8) That third person is pelted with rocks and garbage.
9) Somebody says something funny. Two or three more people, tired of rehashing the OP's problem ad nauseam, riff on the joke.
10) Some officious room monitor demands we stay on topic despite the vein being exhausted.
11) Thread gets shut down.
And perfection in a post!
On that note, unsubscribing. The OP just sounds worse and worse as he embellishes his story.
In a way, this is the classic CD Relationships thread. The normal pattern is as follows:
5) Finally, a misguided somebody who didn't carefully read the OP carefully from the beginning, chimes in as a sympathetic voice.
6) Everybody piles on the second person. Terms such as 'quisling' and 'noxious halfwit' would be used freely if not for fear of TOS violations.
I did chime in (5) with a semi-sympathetic voice, as I can understand wanting to visit with just family at Thanksgiving....but I did carefully read the OP.
Thank you all for not piling on me (6). LOL
Still, the OP does sound pretty snobby. Some of the things he's been saying sound made up just for the sake of shock value....just somebody stirring things up to watch the show. I don't know...
Wow...just stay home. I cannot believe you say you are trying not to judge (yet do). Imply people are lower than you because they ::gasp:: smoke and eat like they haven't had a meal in days. Wow....
Where did you get the idea that you are somehow above other people?
My grandfather read a poem by Kipling to me that said "If you can walk with kings and keep the common touch then you'll be a man." It made a big impression on my younger self. Maybe you should read it.
Actually, you've already done the judging. You're figuratively sitting in the corner with your arms crossed, not wanting to make conversation with whomever you don't think should be there. Congratulations. You've officially achieved Black Cloud status.
Are these people rude? Are these people making fart jokes or shooting smack at the dinner table? Was there something in the family charter giving you veto power over who your parents invite to dinner?
My brother and sister-in-law have a Thanksgiving like that every year. Family arrives. But there are friends who don't have local family. They come too. Sometimes the guest list climbs to as high as 40. And, guess what? After a couple of years, they're like family, too. And, yeah, I fully admit there are a couple of annual guests with whom I don't really click all that much. But I can still muster a few minutes of polite, convivial conversation before moving on. I certainly don't resent my brother for inviting them. To me, that speaks volumes about his character.
Because the entire point of Thanksgiving is enjoying time together, not downloading whatever is sticking in your craw that day as you pass the cranberries. I mean, a relative who dependably wants to discuss family or personal issues at Thanksgiving dinner -- or any dinner, for that matter -- is about as welcome as a case of herpes. Do that on your own time.
Here everybody wants to have dinner, catch up on each other's lives, and get social time, and you're evidently wanting to dredge up some petty sin of omission from God knows when. A pony you didn't get for Christmas or some such. Their forcing you to take piano lessons. Who knows? So now, you actually expect your parents to do a completely separate dinner so you can talk about whatever is offending you at the moment.
Well, let me level with you. No human relationship is perfect. No parent does a flawless job in the raising of their children, despite their best intentions. Everybody has said something, done something or failed to do something that has caused pain and annoyance in others. People with normal, functioning psyches can let go and move on. Evidently, you can't. So you're intent on making sure that holiday dinners come with a side order of bitterness and recriminations.
In other words, it really feels as if it's all about you, not your parents and the guests they've generously welcomed into their home. In fact, maybe you should take a cue from the rest of your family and intertwine with a newer, more generous attitude. Because, hey, if you gave next year's Thanksgiving a miss, don't be surprised if you're not missed all that much.
This^^^
OP--
It is time to watch Planes, Trains, and Automobiles!
I move we start a new holiday: Snobthanksmas....where we can gather together with folks just like ourselves and sneer at those not as fortunate as we are. We can go around the table saying how thankful we are that we're so successful and instead of exchanging presents, we'll show each other our tax returns, which, of course, have been pre-checked at the door by a TSA agent sent over by Price Waterhouse to make sure no imposters on the lower end of the spectrum got in to ruin the dinner. Then, after dinner, we'll make the ritual trip to the mall to sneer at those who are eating in the food court (reference the "Is Thanksgiving Dinner Really Dead Now? in the Politics Forum).
No. I disagree that Thanksgiving is exclusive to relatives only. As I stated in another thread, just imagine if the Pilgrims and Native Americans viewed it as an exclusive event ...
Correct. Had the Pilgrims and Indians stuck to their own kind would we even have a Thanksgiving tradition? Also, were they at the same "level of success"? Heaven forbid if they weren't. If I had to have dinner only with people who are just like me, I'd be bored out of my skull. The parents of Vision33r sound friendly and tolerant. They should be praised for their generosity.
Last edited by Jukesgrrl; 12-01-2016 at 10:02 PM..
Reason: spelling
I wonder what the OP thinks of people who set a place for Baby Jesus at Christmas dinner. Don't forget, he was a Nazarene and probably brown.
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