Obligated to give to a non-relatives kid? (father, husbands, siblings)
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Good gravy. Poor kid. It's Christmas.....gees
If it were me, no one would have had to tell me if I'd known the kid was coming. The fact that your SIL has felt she had to say something tells me a lot.
ETA No argument, put from Santa on the card.....Your hubby will never know
We didn't know he was coming until today. I think what JanND suggested was good! Put from Santa on it. I would not want any child to feel left out or sad especially on Christmas. I just wanted to get everyone's take on it. My SIL went through a rough divorce 2 years ago and my husband doesn't like this current boyfriend. I'm sure that has something to do with it.
We didn't know he was coming until today. I think what JanND suggested was good! Put from Santa on it. I would not want any child to feel left out or sad especially on Christmas. I just wanted to get everyone's take on it. My SIL went through a rough divorce 2 years ago and my husband doesn't like this current boyfriend. I'm sure that has something to do with it.
I get it CG, but in the end the 12 year old child of the boyfriend had nothing to do with any of the adult drama which has taken place. I am sure the boyfriend is an a** but that doesn't mean your husband has to reciprocate and behave as one as well.
I'm willing to bet that regardless of how the SIL/boyfriend relationship turns out this 12 year old will always remember the kindness and generosity shown him while he is "in the family"; it may be temporary or it may be long lived but he is a child now and will always remember how he was treated.
Good luck and I hope the family has a wonderful and joyous Christmas, sincerely.
My husband leaned over to my SIL's boyfriend and asked what they were getting my niece this year for Christmas and he said "I'm not getting her anything, it's not my kid"! So you can now see where my husband is coming from!
Wow, what a jackass. No wonder your husband wants to take the same approach with this jerk's kid. Unfortunately, you might make the poor kid feel bad in the process. I agree with the others that you should buy a little something for the boy.
I feel like it's a kid and it's the holidays; now is not the time to be keeping score. Spending $10-20 on a little something so a kid doesn't feel left out in a room full of almost strangers is in the spirit of the season.
This. Be kind. The SIL isn't asking much, really. How would you feel having no presents but everyone else around you is? Imagine a kid sitting there wondering if he will get a gift, and then not getting one. There is absolutely nothing to lose by buying a couple of things he might like and wrapping them up.
Wow, what a jackass. No wonder your husband wants to take the same approach with this jerk's kid. Unfortunately, you might make the poor kid feel bad in the process. I agree with the others that you should buy a little something for the boy.
If the boyfriend is a jackass for saying he won't get the kid a gift because it's "not his kid" the OPs husband "taking the same approach" is an equal jackass for doing the same thing. Two wrongs don't make a right.
Although I can understand they don't want the child to feel left out, I honestly hate someone else directing me to buy a gift for someone. I think it's tacky and rude. It should be up to an individual to decide if and who she wants to purchase gifts for.
It's no wonder people go broke around the holidays. There is so much pressure to buy gifts for everyone, not exclude anyone, make sure everyone gets something equal, etc. etc. etc.
I buy presents for kids I don't know every year...Elf Louise, the Angel Tree, the Blue Santa collection at my husband's job. I do it because their holiday shouldn't suck because of the circumstances life has dealt them. So it wouldn't bother me to buy a gift for this kid. I would be uncomfortable with a situation where my kids were receiving gifts and there was a child there who wasn't getting anything.
So I feel the same, we should get the kid a little something. The reason why my husband says no is because at Thanksgiving the child was there as well. He didn't say a word to anyone and just sat and played video games. Of course, he could have been scared not knowing anyone, so I get it! My husband leaned over to my SIL's boyfriend and asked what they were getting my niece this year for Christmas and he said "I'm not getting her anything, it's not my kid"! So you can now see where my husband is coming from! Nonetheless, I feel bad for this kid, but I don't want to argue with my husband over it either!
When in doubt, regardless of occasion, do what is kind. Tell your husband to put a sock in it and buy him the damned present. It's not the poor kid's fault he was thrust into a roomful of strangers for the holidays. A small present would make him feel so much more at easy.
Damn, I hate petty goings-on like that. Money isn't the most important thing in the world, after all.
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