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Has anyone ever invited family over dinner and they brought their own food? They weren't asked in advance either.
I had never had this happen to me and I'd never think of doing it either. I make some wonderful soup (broth based such as Chicken noodle, minestrone for example). However for this particular dish, a cream based soup is needed because it was placed in sourdough bread bowls and it would not absorb the all the broth. We served Clam Chowder and Tomato Bisque Soup in Bread Bowls which is traditionally served in bread bowls.
I was insulted when they walked in with their pot of soup...Then my spouse chose to eat theirs too!
It was funny when I looked over and ALL the water was absorbed in the bowl and all that was left was carrots, potatoes, and chicken chunks..
I would encourage people not to do this. It's very insulting to the host or hostess.
OP, are you aware of any special dietary restrictions they may be dealing with? Health concerns, food allergies? Usually in such cases, the guests discuss it with the hostess, to at least give an apologetic forewarning.
Why not tell your husband and your guests how insulted you were?
Edited to add: Personally I would have declined the invitation or brought my own. I do not like clam chowder and tomato anything soup gives me severe heartburn and not worth the agony eating it just to be nice.
1 - when the guest has dietary needs that are not accommodated by the hostess, or,
2 - when it is not made clear that the dinner is NOT pot luck.
Since you say this was family, discussing it with them is advised.
BTW - your husband was a good sport to eat theirs. I am sure it made them feel more at ease.
I am allergic to clam (among other things!) and extremely intolerant of tomato acids. Did you ask your guests of any food problems when you invited them?
No dietary restrictions involved.. Plus if it was the case would one night partaking destroy them? Are we that delicate that we can't be polite and partake?
Have I loved every meal I was served at dinner parties? Absolutely not! But I'd never stoop so low as to bring my own meal. Anymore it seems like a hostess is running a restaurant when having dinner parties with all peoples petty dietary needs.
Lesson learned and it's best to meet in restaurants anymore.
Were the bread bowl soups the only offerings you had for your guests?
I do agree that it's rude to bring food without consulting with the host/ess. More than likely, they've put effort into selecting a menu meant to complement and balance.
That said, if I knew that I were going to a party where the only offerings were a clam chowder and a tomato bisque in bread bowls, I'd be put in a very awkward situation. I don't eat clam chowder and I can't have the bread bowls. I would probably have some tomato bisque to be polite, but it wouldn't be my first choice, and a meal with no protein would leave me very unsatisfied. So either I would have to eat beforehand, or I would have to shorten my stay and leave to go eat something else. If they were aware of the menu, I can understand why they would feel driven to bring some additional food, though I question bringing a third soup.
No dietary restrictions involved.. Plus if it was the case would one night partaking destroy them?Are we that delicate that we can't be polite and partake?
You're joking, right? If I put aside my dietary restrictions in order to be polite, I spend the entire night in the bathroom with horrible stomach cramps and relentless diarrhea. I'm not going to subject myself to that in an effort to be polite.
Last edited by hertfordshire; 01-08-2017 at 11:42 AM..
No dietary restrictions involved.. Plus if it was the case would one night partaking destroy them? Are we that delicate that we can't be polite and partake?
Have I loved every meal I was served at dinner parties? Absolutely not! But I'd never stoop so low as to bring my own meal. Anymore it seems like a hostess is running a restaurant when having dinner parties with all peoples petty dietary needs.
Lesson learned and it's best to meet in restaurants anymore.
It might. Why would you think otherwise? An allergic reaction to a food can kill a person. If they have something like diverticulitis, a flare up could send them to the hospital and make them sick for days.
Do you know the difference between a "need" and a "want?" A "dietary need" is a need, and by definition, not petty.
Without knowing why they did this, I can't judge if this was rude, or not. I can tell you, your reaction is pretty rude, though. Why does it bother you so much?
Were the bread bowl soups the only offerings you had for your guests?
I do agree that it's rude to bring food without consulting with the host/ess. More than likely, they've put effort into selecting a menu meant to complement and balance.
That said, if I knew that I were going to a party where the only offerings were a clam chowder and a tomato bisque in bread bowls, I'd be put in a very awkward situation. I don't eat clam chowder and I can't have the bread bowls. I would probably have some tomato bisque to be polite, but it wouldn't be my first choice, and a meal with no protein would leave me very unsatisfied. So either I would have to eat beforehand, or I would have to shorten my stay and leave to go eat something else. If they were aware of the menu, I can understand why they would feel driven to bring some additional food, though I question bringing a third soup.
Yes, this. Maybe they were trying to satisfy their own needs, and not be impolite by demanding that you and everyone else also abide by them. A little communication could have gone a long way, I think.
1 - when the guest has dietary needs that are not accommodated by the hostess, or,
2 - when it is not made clear that the dinner is NOT pot luck.
Since you say this was family, discussing it with them is advised.
BTW - your husband was a good sport to eat theirs. I am sure it made them feel more at ease.
I am allergic to clam (among other things!) and extremely intolerant of tomato acids. Did you ask your guests of any food problems when you invited them?
This was my assumption. He ate theirs to be polite, to remove any awkwardness that couple may have felt. That's what a good host does.
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