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There is an acquaintance I have that is really starting to bother me. They don't have a job or vehicle or even a phone. When I was younger one of my friends and this person were somewhat friends and my friend would sometimes give this person rides. They felt sorry for the person, so felt obligated to help.
The friend I had isn't around anymore, and for some reason, this person has decided that we are good buddies and has been asking me for things. (I suspect it's because they wore out their welcome with other people.)
First they needed money for their medicine and a ride to the pharmacy, which I gave them. I told them they could pay me back later (I wasn't expecting the money back, but felt bad for them this time). The next time I saw them they needed a ride to the bank to get their check cashed and they would pay me back. Then they said they needed money to cash the check. I gave some and waited. They cashed the check but said they needed change and I didn't have any. They asked to borrow my cell phone to call their mom, which I let them. While they were on the phone they got all upset and claimed their mom told them their daughter got hit by a truck. I didn't buy that much but I dropped them off where they wanted and decided to let it go.
When I checked my phone records, there was no call made other than the ones I made, BTW. So clearly that was all a ploy. I was quite frustrated and resolved not to give them any money or rides.
Then the latest time, they said they needed a ride and since they knew I was going the same way, could I please give them one. I told them I couldn't because I had things to do. Then they said they could wait and it was an emergency. When we were on the way, they claimed they wanted to stop at their mother's to let her know they were going, so I dropped them off. Then they claimed they had the money for me and needed change, so we stopped at their brothers for that. They claimed they would meet up with me at the gas station.
I waited almost 30 minutes and they didn't show up, so I decided to just leave.
Did I do the wrong thing? I didn't know what to do but it was getting ridiculous all of these stops.
At this point I don't care about the money, I just want them to stop bothering me. I am not their chauffeur service or Amscot! I feel bad because they left their jacket in my car and I didn't give them the ride, but I just did not feel right about the whole thing. If they want to give me my money back, than just give it back. If not, whatever.
Has anyone dealt with this before? I know in the past we dealt with it in my family as I have a cousin who won't work and has been on drugs. They were always asking people in my family for rides and we finally had to cut ties with them, because they would 'borrow' money.
I am wondering if this whole thing is just them trying to get more money, but I can't seem to figure it out. It's almost as if they are really trying to pay me back, but it's like every time they need change, need change.
I feel personally like it's their way of extorting money. I know for a fact they lied about the phone call.
Set boundaries. If you are willing to do something for this person with no expectation of repayment, then do it. If not, say, "I'm uncomfortable with that, so the answer is no." End conversation. You're being used because you're allowing yourself to be used.
If they don't have a phone, how do they call you to hitch rides? Just curious. It sounds like you've figured out that they've been using you. I think I would let them know the free ride is over and not help them out anymore. Quit responding to their calls, requests, etc. This person sounds like they're high maintenance and it will only get worse. They will continue to be a pest if you don't end it.
There is an acquaintance I have that is really starting to bother me. They don't have a job or vehicle or even a phone. When I was younger one of my friends and this person were somewhat friends and my friend would sometimes give this person rides. They felt sorry for the person, so felt obligated to help.
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OP, the highlighted part is all you need to know. This person has been sponging off of others for years, probably decades. Don't be a part of the cycle.
There is an acquaintance I have that is really starting to bother me. They don't have a job or vehicle or even a phone. When I was younger one of my friends and this person were somewhat friends and my friend would sometimes give this person rides. They felt sorry for the person, so felt obligated to help.
The friend I had isn't around anymore, and for some reason, this person has decided that we are good buddies and has been asking me for things. (I suspect it's because they wore out their welcome with other people.)
First they needed money for their medicine and a ride to the pharmacy, which I gave them. I told them they could pay me back later (I wasn't expecting the money back, but felt bad for them this time). The next time I saw them they needed a ride to the bank to get their check cashed and they would pay me back. Then they said they needed money to cash the check. I gave some and waited. They cashed the check but said they needed change and I didn't have any. They asked to borrow my cell phone to call their mom, which I let them. While they were on the phone they got all upset and claimed their mom told them their daughter got hit by a truck. I didn't buy that much but I dropped them off where they wanted and decided to let it go.
When I checked my phone records, there was no call made other than the ones I made, BTW. So clearly that was all a ploy. I was quite frustrated and resolved not to give them any money or rides.
Then the latest time, they said they needed a ride and since they knew I was going the same way, could I please give them one. I told them I couldn't because I had things to do. Then they said they could wait and it was an emergency. When we were on the way, they claimed they wanted to stop at their mother's to let her know they were going, so I dropped them off. Then they claimed they had the money for me and needed change, so we stopped at their brothers for that. They claimed they would meet up with me at the gas station.
I waited almost 30 minutes and they didn't show up, so I decided to just leave.
Did I do the wrong thing? I didn't know what to do but it was getting ridiculous all of these stops.
At this point I don't care about the money, I just want them to stop bothering me. I am not their chauffeur service or Amscot! I feel bad because they left their jacket in my car and I didn't give them the ride, but I just did not feel right about the whole thing. If they want to give me my money back, than just give it back. If not, whatever.
Has anyone dealt with this before? I know in the past we dealt with it in my family as I have a cousin who won't work and has been on drugs. They were always asking people in my family for rides and we finally had to cut ties with them, because they would 'borrow' money.
I am wondering if this whole thing is just them trying to get more money, but I can't seem to figure it out. It's almost as if they are really trying to pay me back, but it's like every time they need change, need change.
I feel personally like it's their way of extorting money. I know for a fact they lied about the phone call.
The first time they did it, it was their fault.
The second time they did it, it was your fault, chiefly because you allowed it to happen again.
They don't call me and I don't answer their messages on Facebook, I'm not even friends on there. We both happen to go to the same place for therapy and that's when I run into them.
The problem is I am stuck with a jacket that is theirs. What can I do with it? I thought about leaving it on their gate post.
They don't call me and I don't answer their messages on Facebook, I'm not even friends on there. We both happen to go to the same place for therapy and that's when I run into them.
The problem is I am stuck with a jacket that is theirs. What can I do with it? I thought about leaving it on their gate post.
Seems like the way to go. Or say to them, "Here's your jacket. Don't hit me up for any more favors."
Stop, just stop!!! Keep the jacket for payment. Do not engage with these people anymore! STOP!
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