Co-Workers Planning an Overnight Group Outing - I so want to pass on it (introvert, issues)
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I am screwed because they have set up a calendar where we can all choose a weekend in the future that works for all of us!
Even the partners are considering going. We are not a large group so my absence would be very noticeable.
I just don't get it...we spend so much time together already!!! I am not married to these people. WTF???????
Could you tell them that due to a "family situation" that's subject to change at anytime, you just aren't able to make a commitment? Technically, it's not a lie. The family situation is that you right now don't want to go. That COULD change - and you COULD get hit by a falling piano. The fact that they're not LIKELY to change, doesn't matter. Alternatively, you could just pick a weekend and when the time comes, get "sick" and unable to go at the last minute. That's not technically a lie either - you ARE sick. Sick at the thought of spending two whole days with these people.
I am screwed because they have set up a calendar where we can all choose a weekend in the future that works for all of us!
Even the partners are considering going. We are not a large group so my absence would be very noticeable.
I just don't get it...we spend so much time together already!!! I am not married to these people. WTF???????
The solution is obvious. Let everyone else put their picks on the calendar first. Then, look to see which weekend or two have the fewest "yes" responses, and pick those as the ones you can do. Put "no" in all the other ones. They'll choose the weekend that works for the largest number of people, so if that weekend just so happens to be the one that everyone can do except for you, oh well, tough break for you. Sorry guys; hope you have fun without me.
The only pitfall is that they might all change their plans to make the weekend you picked be the one. So yeah, there's risk in everything.
Ok, my second thread complaining about some aspect of work. Caveat: I love my job and the people I work with are good people. This is by far one of the best professional experiences I've had in my career.
That said, we work in a open office environment and we are literally in each other's faces every frickin day! I mean we sit right next to each other with no cubicle "walls" separating us. Only the partners get an office and they deserve it.
We already do a lot together as a group. Birthday lunches, group happy hours and we usually all go to a Lakers or Clippers game together once a year. I have participated in all of the above.
But an overnight outing on the weekend just for the hell of it!??! WTF????? We already spend a sh*t load of time together. And as I stated in another thread: we work in close quarters and I hear people grunt, groan and chew their food loudly.
I will so PASS on this TERRIBLE idea! Luckily, it is not being spearheaded by the partners. I just hope the partners pass as well so I don't feel singled out for not going. I know the tentative date they have chosen is a clear conflict for me (as I ALREADY have travel plans!!!!!).
Has anyone been invited on an overnight "pleasure" trip with coworkers in a formal group setting? Did you go or decline?
Hey Astral!
What are the accommodations like on this trip? Will you have a private room or are you sharing? If sharing I definitely would recommend "illness" on the chosen weekend. If it's a private accommodation you will at least have that room to retreat to if going becomes necessary. Also, if you're comfortable with it, if this is an out of pocket trip just claim that it's a financial burden at this time. "Family obligations" is also a good excuse.
The one thing none of us can gauge is what affect your attendance will have on your work situation. That has to be your call. But, adults (especially coworkers) sharing rooms and toilet facilities is NEVER a good idea. Unless, of course, two people are looking for an excuse for "extracurricular activities"!
A trip to Palm Springs (driving distance). It is definitely NOT being planned or initiated by the partners. That said, the partners aren't opposed to it and might even join, if their schedule permits.
Don't feel guilty. And you don't have to be a partner to say 'I am sorry but MY schedule doesn't permit'.
Hope all those people who cry because they don't find 'friends' in their workplaces or feel 'included' in office functions read this thread. Obviously not all workplaces are alike. Sometimes things go to the other extreme it seems.
At any rate, I am a nice and social person but you would have to pay me big time (and tell me this was REQUIRED for work) for me to go along with anything like this. If I want to see people outside of work, I will invite them to my house for dinner or go for the occasional after work snack/drink - but this sounds almost 'dangerous' (like going to Vegas and leaving what happens there, there). Much better to opt out and be wrong or viewed as unfriendly than to go and be sorry.
I am screwed because they have set up a calendar where we can all choose a weekend in the future that works for all of us!
"Oh sorry, I can't be away overnight because .....
- I have a dog
- a diabetic cat that needs daily shots done by me
- children
- competition/hobby/leagues
Or choose a weekend and when it gets picked, come up with an emergency excuse like
- sick
- dog/wife/kid sick
- emergency repair on car/house
- wedding/funeral/...
Ok, my second thread complaining about some aspect of work. Caveat: I love my job and the people I work with are good people. This is by far one of the best professional experiences I've had in my career.
That said, we work in a open office environment and we are literally in each other's faces every frickin day! I mean we sit right next to each other with no cubicle "walls" separating us. Only the partners get an office and they deserve it.
We already do a lot together as a group. Birthday lunches, group happy hours and we usually all go to a Lakers or Clippers game together once a year. I have participated in all of the above.
But an overnight outing on the weekend just for the hell of it!??! WTF????? We already spend a sh*t load of time together. And as I stated in another thread: we work in close quarters and I hear people grunt, groan and chew their food loudly.
I will so PASS on this TERRIBLE idea! Luckily, it is not being spearheaded by the partners. I just hope the partners pass as well so I don't feel singled out for not going. I know the tentative date they have chosen is a clear conflict for me (as I ALREADY have travel plans!!!!!).
Has anyone been invited on an overnight "pleasure" trip with coworkers in a formal group setting? Did you go or decline?
How about learning to say the phrase, "Gosh, thanks so much for asking, but I have other plans." How hard is that?
... "Sorry to hear, which weekend would you be free then?"
DIPLOMATIC
"You know, it's really hard for me to leave town because of [Pets/Aging mother/Weekend project/volunteer at church/cello practice]. But thank you for thinking of me. Sounds fun!"
I one of those people that prefer to keep my social/home life separate from my work life. It just works for me.
I try to be professional, without out being obnoxious.....But, I have seen the "togetherness" at work to the point that it became constant....It just always seems to hit a glitch. Who needs that.
OP, I am happy that you already have travel plans.....But, you'll have to ohh and aww over the pics later.
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Alternatively, you could just pick a weekend and when the time comes, get "sick" and unable to go at the last minute. That's not technically a lie either - you ARE sick. Sick at the thought of spending two whole days with these people. 
