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It seems to be it gets seen in a negative light. I've noticed people who don't like to talk about themselves tend to gossip about others. That has been my observation from what I've seen. I'll admit I enjoy talking about myself. Sorry, if that makes me come off as narcissistic. I'm not into gossip and talking about people that I have no contact with.
You do realize there are other choices besides a) talking about yourself and b) talking about others, right?
Talking about yourself is fine if it's a two way conversation. Many people that I know that do talk about themselves to a noticeable extent tend to be conversation hogs and don't actually listen to others. When you do talk they sit there and stare at you like they're waiting for a chance to jump in like double dutch.
I've been in countless restaurants over the years and have seen what appears to be first date type situations and can't recall how many times someone, man or woman, sits there and just bloviates about themselves with me this and me that.
I rarely run into people who seem interested in what I have to say. People don't seem to have very long attention span anymore. I feel like many of my casual encounters are just "Blah, blah, blah now-go-away-so-I can-check-my-phone."
I've lived a pretty interesting life and have some (what I think) are amusing stories to tell. And as far as beginning a conversation with questions it seems more risky than it used to be. In spite of the fact that nearly seventy-five percent are broadcasting the more intimate details of their lives online people don't seem to respond well to being asked conversational questions face-to-face.
Finally, after learning about the concept of "virtue signaling" and the contempt in which it's held I'm a bit mystified about how getting to know each other online is supposed to happen. It certainly isn't the same internet it was in the '90s.
It seems to be it gets seen in a negative light. I've noticed people who don't like to talk about themselves tend to gossip about others. That has been my observation from what I've seen. I'll admit I enjoy talking about myself. Sorry, if that makes me come off as narcissistic. I'm not into gossip and talking about people that I have no contact with.
There is nothing wrong with talking about yourself.
The problem becomes when that is all you want to talk about. Never asking the other person one thing about them, or how they're doing.
You will be sorry, if you are a narcissist people will drift away.
It get's very draining when someone drones on and on about themselves with every little detail and can't be bothered to come up for air and ask "and what's new with you?" or you mention something like "my mother is in the ICU' and they say "oh wow, I got a free latte at Starbucks today"...and it's back to all about them.
It seems to be it gets seen in a negative light. I've noticed people who don't like to talk about themselves tend to gossip about others. That has been my observation from what I've seen. I'll admit I enjoy talking about myself. Sorry, if that makes me come off as narcissistic. I'm not into gossip and talking about people that I have no contact with.
There is a problem with that.... It gets boring. I've never had a conversation with you, so I don't know what you discuss.
I have a niece whose conversations center around herself, and I'm sure she isn't aware that she gives off the air of being better than anyone else. But I've seen her affect people that way. And, frankly, I find the woman boring as Hell. Exact same thing with a friend I had once, and it was a friendship that didn't last.
Conversations can encompass a lot of things, not just gossip or ego.
I have a friend of 20 years who is lively and engaging. She is in her 40's and almost young enough to be my daughter. She's an only child and is one of those "it's mostly about me" people. She lives out of state and we text or talk on the phone fairly often. She does come up for air in conversations and asks the occasional question about me or my take on things. And she listens when I answer.
When we first met at work, if I said something in conversation and finished my thought, she would give a brief appropriate response. Then she would look me directly in the eye, wait a beat and with a little twinkle, say, "Okay, enough about you. Now back to me." And, yet, we"re still friends after all these years. She always has something new going on in her life to keep it interesting. Some people can just get away with stuff that the rest of us can't.
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