Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
what's so bad about talking about ourselves? I'll admit I enjoy talking about myself.
IMO, it's a matter of how much and the way you share, meaning letting others talk about what they want to. It can feel boring and even offensive for someone to go on and on about them self and their accomplishments, etc, without allowing others to contribute something. I'd stop often and ask others what they have to say or offer on the subject, etc.
I don't really talk about myself, but I do talk a lot about my children!
That is usually worse. Answer a person if they ask about the children, but to start talking about them isn't the best thing to do. There are exceptions such as being drafted by the NFL, scholarships to an Ivy, or having triplets.
Those aren't the only two options for conversation topics. One can talk about ideas, about events, about different aspects of human endeavor, the news of the day, science as it pertains to current issues, and so much more. Think about how rich and varied the whole of life is; potential topics are endless. People whose interests are limited to themselves or gossip about others are missing out on much of what life has to offer. Like people who talk about TV show episodes.
The art of conversation is dead in the US, for the most part.
It seems to be it gets seen in a negative light. I've noticed people who don't like to talk about themselves tend to gossip about others. That has been my observation from what I've seen. I'll admit I enjoy talking about myself. Sorry, if that makes me come off as narcissistic. I'm not into gossip and talking about people that I have no contact with.
I find a lot of people who gossip about others usually use it as a tool to talk about themselves.
IME most people who talk incessantly about themselves and their families are those who have the most limited and mundane lives and interests. It's boring.
Those aren't the only two options for conversation topics. One can talk about ideas, about events, about different aspects of human endeavor, the news of the day, science as it pertains to current issues, and so much more. Think about how rich and varied the whole of life is; potential topics are endless. People whose interests are limited to themselves or gossip about others are missing out on much of what life has to offer. Like people who talk about TV show episodes.
The art of conversation is dead in the US, for the most part.
You can talk about those things if both parties are paying attention to those things. But (color me old) it seems like most people are glued to their phones and simply don't pay much attention to what's going on in the world, much less to history, science or philosophy. Sadly, and boringly, the default topics for most people are (1) themselves and (2) other people.
I was recently in downtown Dallas with two women of about my same age and I said, "we're in the area where those 5 Dallas police officers were shot last summer." Neither one knew what I was talking about and I added, "You know, during the Black Lives Matter protest, when the officers were shot by a sniper." They both looked befuddled. I'm sure that I've been distracted by my personal life at times and have missed major events, but I thought that was very discouraging.
I think when people talk mainly about themselves it's because that is what they're most interested in.
Talking about yourself constantly is like juggling. People can only watch a juggler for so long before it gets boring.
People in a conversation have a responsibility to include everyone in the conversation. You have to throw the ball back. You have to do/say something to make them want to play with you.
It seems to be it gets seen in a negative light. I've noticed people who don't like to talk about themselves tend to gossip about others. That has been my observation from what I've seen. I'll admit I enjoy talking about myself. Sorry, if that makes me come off as narcissistic. I'm not into gossip and talking about people that I have no contact with.
You know you are right!
This reminds me of the time I tried to open a fully functioning Cinnabun stand in my apartment and was doing quite well at it before I accidentally caused a fire and had to close for construction which eventually led to me getting kicked out.
But this is nothing, and I mean nothing compared to the time I organized a running of the bulls in my own city without letting the city or police department know about it. OMG! It was so fun. I ran the fastest and I think everyone had a great time, even that lady who lost the double stroller to the stampeded. I could tell by the way she was screaming she was just really into it.
Of course none of this is as embarrassing I had to ask a homeless man for the return of my refrigerator box after giving it to him to live in because I had to return my refrigerator. Can you imagine the gall of the man refusing after I tried to help him? Some people!
Then there was the time I was kicked out of an orgy for refusing to take my shirt off. I was mostly there just to watch anyway.
But, But OP there was this time I hired a magician for my friends funeral and performed impressions. I was doing great until I tried to impersonate my dead friend by trying to get a kiss from his widow. Now that situation totally blew up and I am not sure why, everyone loved it!
I still am a little hurt about the time I brought a bunch of bonobo monkeys to a children's birthday party and watched them run around while I drank rum that I brought from a sippy cup. OMG! The kids and the moneys got along famously. The parents were so uptight!
This reminds me of the time I tried to open a fully functioning Cinnabun stand in my apartment and was doing quite well at it before I accidentally caused a fire and had to close for construction which eventually led to me getting kicked out.
But this is nothing, and I mean nothing compared to the time I organized a running of the bulls in my own city without letting the city or police department know about it. OMG! It was so fun. I ran the fastest and I think everyone had a great time, even that lady who lost the double stroller to the stampeded. I could tell by the way she was screaming she was just really into it.
Of course none of this is as embarrassing I had to ask a homeless man for the return of my refrigerator box after giving it to him to live in because I had to return my refrigerator. Can you imagine the gall of the man refusing after I tried to help him? Some people!
Then there was the time I was kicked out of an orgy for refusing to take my shirt off. I was mostly there just to watch anyway.
But, But OP there was this time I hired a magician for my friends funeral and performed impressions. I was doing great until I tried to impersonate my dead friend by trying to get a kiss from his widow. Now that situation totally blew up and I am not sure why, everyone loved it!
I still am a little hurt about the time I brought a bunch of bonobo monkeys to a children's birthday party and watched them run around while I drank rum that I brought from a sippy cup. OMG! The kids and the moneys got along famously. The parents were so uptight!
I could go on about myself all day.
You're doing it wrong, OG. You're supposed to drone on about how you're the hero of everyone's life around you, and how various petty suggestions you made to your friends and relatives were life-changing for them. Then throw in a few tedious stories about some "interesting" cases you resolved in your illustrious career as an insurance adjuster or lawyer, when you held the courtroom in rapt attention, or presented the arcane details of winning a settlement for your client, who thanked you profusely afterwards.
Then, the next time you see the same person you just regaled with your brilliance, you repeat the same stories, because you've forgotten you already told that batch to this person. My brother is a master at driving people away from him.
[quote=Ruth4Truth;47504300]You're doing it wrong, OG. You're supposed to drone on about how you're the hero of everyone's life around you, and how various petty suggestions you made to your friends and relatives were life-changing for them. Then throw in a few tedious stories about some "interesting" cases you resolved in your illustrious career as an insurance adjuster or lawyer, when you held the courtroom in rapt attention, or presented the arcane details of winning a settlement for your client, who thanked you profusely afterwards.
Then, the next time you see the same person you just regaled with your brilliance, you repeat the same stories, because you've forgotten you already told that batch to this person. My brother is a master at driving people away from him. [/QUOTE
a la Walter Mitty
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
