House guest always wants his clothes washed before he leaves-what is that-rude, strange, normal...??? (compulsive, socializing)
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This is a family member who is 36, married, good job, 2 kids under 5. Whenever he visits he asks to use the washer/dryer on the day they leave. I have never had anyone, relative or friend, ask to use our washer and dryer to do their clothes.
Honestly, it really bugs me. I do enjoy their visits, but seriously, I already have to cook and clean up after them, plus change the sheets and towels and wash them, so I have to do their laundry too? To be clear, I plan for their visit and create daily menus, have their beverages on hand, what the kids like to eat etc. I just don't get this quirk of doing their laundry before they leave. They have their own house with a washer/dryer and his wife doesn't work so ???
I usually offer to anyone who stays over if they want to use the washer.
Your visitor's travel is tiring coming to see you and returning home.
Even the long drive home can give a person jet lag, so to speak, so having that laundry done eases the burden for them.
They cared to visit and be with you. It is of a caring and generous virtue to offer something to make their return home one step easier. After a long trip, its even hard to summon up the energy to cook a meal let alone tending to a pile of laundry.
I'm sure it seems odd but its fine to offer and yes, show them where the laundry soap is...they'll be able to do the rest...you might even put a broom in someone's hand and ask if they'll sweep the kitchen. It's okay to do that too.
THIS!!!!!
Thats the way I was raised. My mom did this when I was young and we had guests...she still does it.
I offer the same to our guests.
Family and Friends.
I suppose if I wasn't raised this way, and someone asked me to use the laundry I'd be a little taken aback.
Perhaps the guests had nothing clean left to wear home. With two small kids, accidents happen and no matter that you packed clothing for each day, you could end up short of something that doesn't have Kool-Aid or spaghetti splashed down the front. Or it could have been extra hot and sweaty clothing was changed more than expected. And then again, he may have a compulsion that drives him to only travel with clean clothes. We don't know.
How many loads of laundry are we talking about anyway? One, two or six? And I'd still like to know how often they visit.
I am in the camp that doesn't see this as particularly weird or a big deal as long as he's doing the work. Unless you are buying a new washer and dryer before each visit, one time of being shown which buttons to push or dials to spin should be sufficient for a smart guy to figure it out. If it's just that you don't like him doing laundry at your house, well, depending on the family relationship and dynamics, you're gonna have to figure out how you deal with that.
Life is too short to get ticked off about a couple loads of laundry which probably is a reaction to your displeasure to the visit to their house. You are obviously organized and make a great effort for their comfort when they're in your home and they proved themselves to not be equally good hosts when you visit theirs. Frankly, that's unlikely to change.
I think you need to figure out how to make peace with your own irritation if these are not frequent visits.
I travel to a summer home pretty much every weekend in the summer time that does not have a washer and dryer. We bring our dirty clothes home in plastic bags and wash them that night. We have a 1 yr old and 3 yr old. Even if there was a washer dryer there i dont see washing the clothes there and still taking them home clean being any easier. Now if we had no clean clothes to wear that's another issue and if that's the case with this guy he should pack better. Overall I'm with the OP. I see no real need for him to be using her washing machine. Clearly it's a burden to the OP but he obviously has no idea.
I don't get the people that say they need clean clothes for work or school when they get home. Who in the hell takes ALL of their clothes when they travel? Even if you are going on an around the world 60 day cruise you should have something clean left in the closet and dresser. How many people wear the same type of clothes to work as they wear on vacation anyway?
Put me in the group that has no overnight guests unless we share a bed.
I always tell house guests that they are welcome to use the washer and dryer. They're not complicated - in fact, if a house guest is staying more than one night, I will SHOW them how to use the washer and dryer, which are pretty self explanatory anyway. I also show them where the detergent is.
If I do a load of laundry while they're there, I ask them if they want to toss anything in. Of course, I don't mind returning a few clean and dry items to them, folded or whatever, if they throw a few items in with mine.
I've literally never had a house guest ask me to actually do their laundry for them. That would be weird. I think if they asked me, I'd say, "Come with me - let me show you how easy it is to use our washer and dryer - you will be amazed!" And then I'd leave them to it.
On a personal note - If I am traveling, I don't generally wash clothes for a short trip. If the trip is more than, say, a week, I may find a washer and dryer and wash a few items because I don't like to have to pack so many clothes that I don't need to wash anything. That being said, and not to put too fine a point on it, but even if I go on one overnight, I always wash my undies out in the sink and hang them up to dry. A girl has got to always have clean undies! And to be honest, I generally can make it by maybe only hand washing a blouse or two if I'm traveling for a week or less.
Longer than that, I'd find my own washer and dryer - I would never presume to ask a host to do my own laundry.
My husband and I actually travel quite a bit. I bring a laundry bag with me and put soiled items in that bag and just wash them when I get home. My gosh, it's not like it's even a full load of laundry.
On the other hand, my daughter often travels with four kids. They NEED to use the washer and dryer, and in fact, I offer it to them every day they're here. Still - I don't DO the laundry - she does.
I don't care about taking dirty laundry in my suitcase (FYI, my laundry doesn't really get filthy dirty; usually just dirty as in worn for a day) but I always wash clothes at least once on vacation because I take long vacations (at least 10 days) and I don't want to take my whole house with me on the trip. To OP, I don't see how it's a big deal as long as your guest does his own laundry.
I don't get the people that say they need clean clothes for work or school when they get home. Who in the hell takes ALL of their clothes when they travel? Even if you are going on an around the world 60 day cruise you should have something clean left in the closet and dresser. How many people wear the same type of clothes to work as they wear on vacation anyway?
Put me in the group that has no overnight guests unless we share a bed.
I should point out that, in our case, it was mainly making sure that we had clean clothes for the children to wear to school. Perhaps, your children had 14 plus pairs of underpants and tee shirts, plus multiple outfits in their current size to take on vacation as well as extra pairs of underwear at home, in their current size, for after they returned from vacation but our children certainly didn't. Do you realize how fast preschool and elementary children change sizes? And, how fast they can get clothes dirty, especially on vacation?
And, in the days of business casual yes, I often wore the same things on vacation as I wore to work (dressy pants and nice blouses or casual dresses). And, I would take my favorite items on vacation and yes, those were the same favorite items that I would wear to work.
Now, if you only wore three piece suits and white shirts as a man or fancy, dressy suits for a woman to work I could see how you would not need a lot of those on vacation. And, of course, adults don't change sizes of underwear & clothes every few months like a young child typically does so you would likely have clean things at home.
YMMV
Last edited by germaine2626; 04-22-2017 at 07:23 PM..
Are you doing his laundry, or is he doing it himself? Sometimes if I'm staying with family I ask to do a load of laundry before I leave so I don't have to take a bag of dirty clothes home.
If it bugs you that much you can always tell him no.
Ah, but this is impossible to do.
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