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Travel with a suitcase of dirty clothes - how awful - NO! - how completely bizarre to care.
Traveled a whole lifetime - and never did laundry - having a suitcase with some or all dirty clothes is about the smallest inconsequential thing.
talk about excessive nonsense.... and fastidiousness taken to an extreme nonsensical level
Have you ever traveled with a week's worth of laundry for a family of 3 or 4, all of whom may need fresh clothes to go back to school/work the next day? The last thing I'd want to do after getting home from a day or two of traveling is several loads of laundry.
OP, offer up the washer and dryer for them to use before they leave. Don't offer to do the laundry yourself -- show them where all the necessary stuff is. It doesn't put you out in any way unless you too just have to do your laundry on that very day.
So wait, are they asking to use your washer and dryer, or are they asking you to do their laundry for them? That's two very different requests that you're conflating as the same.
IMO it's common courtesy to offer the use of the washer and dryer to a guest who's stayed more than 3 days or so, so that they don't have to travel with a suitcase full of dirty clothes, but the actual act of laundering their clothes is their responsibility. Next time they ask, you can clearly absolve yourself of any obligation to do it yourself by saying "the washer and dryer are in the basement (or wherever they are), the detergent and fabric softener are in the cabinet above (or wherever they are), help yourself." No skin off your nose except maybe 75 cents worth of electricity and degergent.
This exactly.
In fact, I'll add that if I have a family member as a houseguest for more than a day or two, and I'm planning on doing a load of laundry while they're here, I'll ask if they have anything they'd like to toss in.
If the people have been there an extended period of time and need to wash their clothes in the middle of the stay, no problem.
Washing it all at the end before they bring it home? That to me is just plain weird.
It's like asking if they could cook several meals in your oven before they leave so they can take them home and eat them there.
Of course, if someone did stay with me and asked to use it, I would let them... but I would think funny thoughts about them for it. Water and electricity costs and it would feel like they're cheapskates trying to save money at home or something... I don't know. Odd.
Obviously the issue is not the laundry. If so, you could just show him how to operate the machine. He managed to travel cross country, so presumably, he can manage to operate a washer that is different than his at home.
I don't there's anything the least bid odd about about doing laundry at a friend or family members, in fact, we rely on it, so we can pack more lightly & we don't even have kids. Everyone I know, pretty much expects to do this, as it makes travelling easier. Is it a requirement? No. Is it an obsession with washing clothes every few days or being uber-fastidious? No. It's simply a convenience. Great if it's available & we'll plan accordingly if it's not.
I think as OP said, it's grating on her b/c she has resentment over expectations when she visited them. I don't tend to cook much, but if we're having guests, I'll order in or plan that we go out to eat a lot & probably eat some leftovers. I don't think it's acceptable to expect guests to feed themselves, when they are visiting your home. Though I have been a guest where people haven't done anything special, just sort of 'help yourself to whatever's in the fridge'. Since I'm veg, I tend to make my own plans or bring some of my own food anyway, but it's rude to not make some sort of plans, even if those are to eat out or cater in or something. If you visit regularly OP, I think you just have to discuss it with them & ask next time, what you should expect for meal plans? Clearly it has nothing to do with pushing a few buttons on the washer.
There was a very lengthy thread a few years ago on this topic. Some people thought it was absolutely ridiculous to wash clothes on their last day of vacation and other people would never, ever, ever pack any dirty clothes in their suitcase and would spend hours and hours on their last day of vacation making sure that every single item was clean.
The people who washed every item of clothing thought that the people who packed up dirty clothes at the end of their vacation were crazy to do that. And, the people who took home their dirty clothes and washed them at their own home thought people who wasted their last day of vacation doing laundry were crazy.
It was quite a memorable thread.
BTW, I recall that most, or even all, of the people who washed their clothes at the end of their vacation did it themselves, they did not ask their hosts to do it. However, some hosts were grumpy because their friends or relatives used their hot water, detergent and electricity plus could not/did not spend time with them on their last day because of doing the laundry.
That thread was epic! I remember it well!
My parents like to do laundry when they visit, but that's because they are in an RV. I think that's fine, and I don't mind. I do think it's kind of rude to ask, if the only purpose is to keep from having to do it once you get home.
I hate to put dirty laundry in my suitcase so when I travel I always try to rent a house with a washer/dryer. If I stay at a hotel I will occasionally send laundry out the day before I check out. But this is why I never stay with family or friends when I travel. I don't want to inconvenience anyone and I know from experience, having overnight houseguests is work! No matter who they are. But yes, I will do my Landry before I pack and do it again when I get home.
There was a very lengthy thread a few years ago on this topic. Some people thought it was absolutely ridiculous to wash clothes on their last day of vacation and other people would never, ever, ever pack any dirty clothes in their suitcase and would spend hours and hours on their last day of vacation making sure that every single item was clean.
The people who washed every item of clothing thought that the people who packed up dirty clothes at the end of their vacation were crazy to do that. And, the people who took home their dirty clothes and washed them at their own home thought people who wasted their last day of vacation doing laundry were crazy.
It was quite a memorable thread.
BTW, I recall that most, or even all, of the people who washed their clothes at the end of their vacation did it themselves, they did not ask their hosts to do it. However, some hosts were grumpy because their friends or relatives used their hot water, detergent and electricity plus could not/did not spend time with them on their last day because of doing the laundry.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kibbiekat
That thread was epic! I remember it well!
My parents like to do laundry when they visit, but that's because they are in an RV. I think that's fine, and I don't mind. I do think it's kind of rude to ask, if the only purpose is to keep from having to do it once you get home.
Yes, the "wash the dirty clothes" vs. "pack the dirty clothes" was quite polarizing on that thread. And, I can see the comments on this thread are the same. Often, people who do it one way can't see the point of view of people who do it the other way.
Frankly, I am sort of in the middle. I don't mind packing up a lot of dirty clothes and bringing them home with me/us. But, I make sure that everyone has at least one clean outfit for the first day home, even if I have to do one load of laundry including underwear & an outfit or two for each of us one of the last days of vacation.
I recall when we went on long vacations with our children we sometimes flew in late at night and everyone needed to be at work or school in clean clothes the next day. One time when our plane was delayed by a snow storm, on our way home after a two week vacation with the hubby's parents, we arrived home about 2 AM or 3 AM and needed to be getting dressed for work or school just a few hours later. I was so glad that I always made sure that everyone had at least one clean outfit, including clean underwear to wear the first day back home. But, washing everything on the last day of vacation? Nope, I want to enjoy all of my vacation, including the last day.
Actually, being delayed by snow storms happened multiple times over the years when we were returning home from winter vacations to the grandparents. So, it was always important to be prepared just in case you did not have time to do the laundry as soon as you walked in the front door of your house.
Last edited by germaine2626; 04-22-2017 at 05:21 PM..
Yes i think this is weird/rude that he asks. I am not a fan of having houseguests so I already give you a lot of credit for hosting him (and his family i assume?) in your home. It is not necessarily easy having people stay a weekend, clean up after them,cook for them, do sheets, etc...just having a visitor in the home can be stressful enough. I get that many people find it fun...i dont...but it depends on who it is.
I'm not sure why it puts you out so much that he uses the washing machine though...you're already doing so much just having him there. Is it the electricity/water usage? If it happens again, i might just say, yeah you're welcome to use it and then do no more. He can take the hint that he himself can use your washing machine to do his own laundry.
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