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Anyone experience getting stabbed in the back by co-workers as you advance more in your career?
Its finally sinking in to me that you cannot have friends at work unless you want to stay at a low level.
Every time I rise up a little I experience backstabbing, sabotage or other nonsense from co-workers. Often people whom I had good relationships with before. Its very disappointing and sad.
I have a buddy experiencing the same thing on his job.
Yes. Yes. Yes.
I was unpleasantly surprised by just how vindictive and resentful former friends could be if also colleagues. It has been about four years now, and we still work together, but there is zero friendship. This colleague takes every opportunity to promote me and they rest of my peers (the level above$ under the bus at every opportunity. I cannot imagine being so tied to a promotion to be that vengeful. In any case, I have learned my lesson - there is no such thing as deep friendship with peers or anyone in the same department.
Sorry to hear you are enduring this. I suspect that some haven't been given much encouragement when another climbs the ladder. Its tough on both sides. Usually it subsides once they see that the person lives up to the tasks and treats them in regard.
Anyone experience getting stabbed in the back by co-workers as you advance more in your career?
Its finally sinking in to me that you cannot have friends at work unless you want to stay at a low level.
Every time I rise up a little I experience backstabbing, sabotage or other nonsense from co-workers. Often people whom I had good relationships with before. Its very disappointing and sad.
I have a buddy experiencing the same thing on his job.
That's ridiculous. I have a lot of long-time friendships that began on the job and have survived changes in employment, et al. I mean, one of my best friends in the world is a guy I worked for 26 years ago. I earned his respect, made him look really good, and then chased another opportunity. Now, he calls me for career advice, and I'm happy to oblige. I am always corresponding with former colleagues and former employees. Partly because I never had an axe to grind at the office, did good work, and lived up to commitments.
Every time I hear someone whining about backstabbing or office politics, I'm 99% certain that one, several, or all of these are true:
1) The person complaining lacks good people skills and social antennae. It's just amazing to me how some people can't take a hint or even listen to fairly straightforward criticism.
2) The person complaining has a deficiency in either how well he does his job, how well he relates to customers and clients, or fails to understand the larger needs of the company. Trust me. If you're good at your job, the clients like you, and you deliver profitability for the company, you will keep rising wherever you go.
3) The person complaining doesn't network or continually learn new things. Guess what? The world is constantly changing. New skills are needed, the world keeps changing. The go-getter upstart always gets the nod over the veteran who resists change.
4) The person complaining isn't particularly trusted by anyone. Office gossips are the worst. Then there are those who don't live up to their commitments or deadlines. Or can't be trusted to say intelligent things in meetings.
5) The person complaining doesn't consider the positions and needs of co-workers. Hey there will be conflicts. The ability to compromise, resolve matters, and generally finesse a good working relationship matters a lot.
6) The person is, yes, naive. In who he trusts, and what he tells them. But that's not the same as being victimized.
And, in 1% of all situations, the person complaining is mired in an office where those kinds of shenanigans are indeed part of the culture. But that's not true of the large majority or nothing would get done. Everyone would operate in an air of mutual suspicion.
Last edited by MinivanDriver; 04-30-2017 at 07:41 PM..
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,737,988 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chriz Brown
Anyone experience getting stabbed in the back by co-workers as you advance more in your career?
Its finally sinking in to me that you cannot have friends at work unless you want to stay at a low level.
Every time I rise up a little I experience backstabbing, sabotage or other nonsense from co-workers. Often people whom I had good relationships with before. Its very disappointing and sad.
I have a buddy experiencing the same thing on his job.
As a rule, I don't befriend coworkers. Now, I know it is important to maintain a functional working relationship so I try to stay friendly but I'm very reserved against being too close to coworkers. Because when more money or a better position is on the line, every man for himself.
Never ever trust coworkers.You can move on whenever.I have coworker friends in my teens and 20's but now no.They will turn on you at the drop of a hat .
That's ridiculous. I have a lot of long-time friendships that began on the job and have survived changes in employment, et al. I mean, one of my best friends in the world is a guy I worked for 26 years ago. I earned his respect, made him look really good, and then chased another opportunity. Now, he calls me for career advice, and I'm happy to oblige. I am always corresponding with former colleagues and former employees. Partly because I never had an axe to grind at the office, did good work, and lived up to commitments.
Every time I hear someone whining about backstabbing or office politics, I'm 99% certain that one, several, or all of these are true:
1) The person complaining lacks good people skills and social antennae. It's just amazing to me how some people can't take a hint or even listen to fairly straightforward criticism.
2) The person complaining has a deficiency in either how well he does his job, how well he relates to customers and clients, or fails to understand the larger needs of the company. Trust me. If you're good at your job, the clients like you, and you deliver profitability for the company, you will keep rising wherever you go.
3) The person complaining doesn't network or continually learn new things. Guess what? The world is constantly changing. New skills are needed, the world keeps changing. The go-getter upstart always gets the nod over the veteran who resists change.
4) The person complaining isn't particularly trusted by anyone. Office gossips are the worst. Then there are those who don't live up to their commitments or deadlines. Or can't be trusted to say intelligent things in meetings.
5) The person complaining doesn't consider the positions and needs of co-workers. Hey there will be conflicts. The ability to compromise, resolve matters, and generally finesse a good working relationship matters a lot.
6) The person is, yes, naive. In who he trusts, and what he tells them. But that's not the same as being victimized.
And, in 1% of all situations, the person complaining is mired in an office where those kinds of shenanigans are indeed part of the culture. But that's not true of the large majority or nothing would get done. Everyone would operate in an air of mutual suspicion.
When you are rising in your career you become a threat to people one way or another. That's when the backstabbing starts. When I was very low level I never got stabbed in the back.
Good job with the victim blaming though. Well done.
Anyone experience getting stabbed in the back by co-workers as you advance more in your career?
Its finally sinking in to me that you cannot have friends at work unless you want to stay at a low level.
Every time I rise up a little I experience backstabbing, sabotage or other nonsense from co-workers. Often people whom I had good relationships with before. Its very disappointing and sad.
I have a buddy experiencing the same thing on his job.
Nope, you're probably seeking the wrong thing instead of focusing on what matters.
Your buddy is experiencing the same thing because he is your buddy, he is like you.
When you are rising in your career you become a threat to people one way or another. That's when the backstabbing starts. When I was very low level I never got stabbed in the back.
Good job with the victim blaming though. Well done.
You aren't a victim. Chances are pretty strong that you got what you deserved. Maybe rather than blame everyone else for not getting the promotion, getting fired, or whatever, you should look at your own performance and behavior on the job to see what you did to create this situation. Feeling sorry for yourself and blaming the world is a bad way to get ahead.
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