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They don't care about their bad habits. That's who they are, they're toxic. This is on purpose.
They get off on making people feel bad about themselves, by having a talk with them, you're showing that you find their constant put downs upsetting, they will be gleeful. They're not going to say "I'm sorry, I wasn't aware I was doing this". They know exactly what they're doing.
It would be different if it was a one or two time thing, but this is constant.
It's on purpose, you might as well tell your couch that it needs to change colors, the results will be the same, it ain't gonna happen.
You cut ties for your own sanity and self preservation.
You are projecting about some person in your life.
This friend may be like that, or somewhat like that, or totally different ..
You are projecting about some person in your life.
This friend may be like that, or somewhat like that, or totally different ..
No, I am not.
Again, go back and read what the OP wrote.
This is all the time about everything they do, including their posture.
This individual is one of those people who in order to feel better about themselves puts others down. Telling them that it bothers you does no good, that is their objective.
There is a big difference between someone saying an off the cuff remark unware they hurt your feelings, that you can discuss with the person. Because they said something without thinking it through, or didn't realize the impact.
Based on what the OP wrote in detail, this isn't the case.
With people who constantly put you down and make you second guess yourself, telling them it bothers you, well you just gave them more power, they know exactly what they're doing.
This is all the time about everything they do, including their posture.
This individual is one of those people who in order to feel better about themselves puts others down. Telling them that it bothers you does no good, that is their objective.
There is a big difference between someone saying an off the cuff remark unware they hurt your feelings, that you can discuss with the person. Because they said something without thinking it through, or didn't realize the impact.
Based on what the OP wrote in detail, this isn't the case.
With people who constantly put you down and make you second guess yourself, telling them it bothers you, well you just gave them more power, they know exactly what they're doing.
Not a hard concept to understand.
You may be right but there is no way for you to be completely sure
about this person's motivation or their reaction to being told how their behavior comes across.
Not a hard concept to understand.
What does it matter your basically talking about nothing. Akin to "I have more facebook friends than you," and "this is my dog Jerry, I dressed him as a cowboy and named him after my some dead comedy guy." If you need validation from the internet, perhaps go shopping for handbags or shoes. Take a duck face selfie and troll for cucks on Tinder.
You may be right but there is no way for you to be completely sure
about this person's motivation or their reaction to being told how their behavior comes across.
Not a hard concept to understand.
There are only so many "types" in the world.
Based soley on what the OP wrote she fits they type I described.
No different than when you start a new job and overly friendly coworker wants to fill you in on the boss and who to avoid in the office, because they're your "friend"....LOL.
When it happens the first time you think "aren't they nice", when it happens on the 2nd or 3rd job you know better. You see the names change, the race and sex may change, but they're all cut from the same mold.
Not a hard concept to understand.
Quote:
Originally Posted by br242
so, i told her after i made this thread that im not cool with how she has been speaking to me and she should text/call someone else
Well, ironically a week later, someone had made a similar condescending comment to her about her having plastic surgery.
she posted the conversation on facebook and turned it into a huge thing.
it makes me realize what a **** person this lady was.
Well you see she can talk about you and tell you what's wrong with you, but don't anyone dare comment on her.
She's a textbook narcissist. They build themselves up by putting others down. Talking to them about it does absolutely no good, they enjoy that and sometimes will just deny what happened really happened.
Best solution is to cut ties when possible, in your case that is possible.
You're throwing around a bunch of silly terms but at the end of the day she doesn't sound like someone that would be fun to hang out with. She's not being a true friend. No one needs to valid you and toxic is more silly psych babble.
Well now that you've taken the advice of a lot of caring strangers, wasn't it amazing how all of these people who understood were more caring than someone you were calling a friend.
written 200 plus years ago
Never report what may hurt another
unless it be a greater hurt to conceal it. William Penn
So being told unkind things did not do one good thing.
You did not earn or deserve that, and now that you can stand even stronger,
the future will show you the good people to spend time with..
and life will become even sweeter.
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