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Can we agree to put those with extreme attitudes on either end of the spectrum into the same category? That the idea of using ma'am defines one as a "Southern hick" is just as offensive as those calling out others for not using it as "Northern/Western boors" who weren't raised properly?
I certainly never called anyone a boor, or suggested that they weren't raised properly. I'm just saying that it is a proper and appropriate term for any woman of marriageable age. As I mentioned I was raised in CA, so I am from the west and it's a very common thing to say in the west or the south, and probably everywhere else.
I certainly never called anyone a boor, or suggested that they weren't raised properly. I'm just saying that it is a proper and appropriate term for any woman of marriageable age. As I mentioned I was raised in CA, so I am from the west and it's a very common thing to say in the west or the south, and probably everywhere else.
I never accused you of saying anything at all
Just saying both attitudes are equally offensive. Those who take umbrage (justifiably) for being called a "hick" but look down their noses at those parts of the country where the usage is not predominant, are being hypocritical.
A little late getting onto this thread, but without having reviewed any/all previous responses to the OP, my immediate knee-jerk reaction/advice to the question is: If you find yourself over-thinking/analysing the situation facing you, just go ahead, be nice, blink in a semi-submissive (but 'warm-hearted/friendly') way and SAY it: "Yes Ma'am" or "No Ma'am"...and let the situation roll as it will.
What will it hurt, to simply set the 'tone' of the conversation by being polite ? Not much at all, as far as I'm concerned.
What IF the woman/lady you are speaking with is younger or of 'lesser station' than yourself ? So what ?
It's called BEING POLITE....and you cannot possibly fore-see what 'doors' may be opened (or closed) by extending such a level of politeness...nobody can know these things until it comes to pass.
Y'know, it just now occurs to me that (assuming what we are told in the Book of Genesis is correct, and each and every one of us ARE direct-decendents of Noah and his family.......several thousands of yrs later, we are ALL 'family' whether we like it or not, so this being the case...who among us (reading through this thread has NEVER faced the time-honored tradition of a family-get-together (Thanksgiving, X-mas, Kwanza, etc, etc) where you are introduced by your Mother or Father, to someone directly-related to all of you, who you have NEVER met before ? And yet you ARE expected to be polite, whether or not you are 'feeling' it, at the time.
That's how it works best, when meeting strangers...we are ALL family, whether we know it or not...so just BE POLITE.
Quit worrying about 'age'...cuz age is JUST a number...and only COMPUTERS deal in numbers...one's and zero's, whenever they are turned on and 'computing'.
Are YOU a computer ?
If not...then act HUMAN, with love and compassion for OTHER humans. "Yes Sir/Yes Ma'am" or "No Sir/No Ma'am".
At the very least, consider this: "Karma has no 'menu'. You get served EXACTLY what you deserve".
Meh. I use it for everyone. My husband has been called ma'am on more than one occasion. Nicer than the other names I call him
My question is why is it ok to call any guy "sir", but only ok to call older women "ma'am"? That's pretty sexist if you ask me.
I don't call anyone other than a child "miss". I don't like the word, I think it just sounds weird. And again, is there a male equivalent? If not, I don't use it.
Meh. I use it for everyone. My husband has been called ma'am on more than one occasion. Nicer than the other names I call him
My question is why is it ok to call any guy "sir", but only ok to call older women "ma'am"? That's pretty sexist if you ask me.
I don't call anyone other than a child "miss". I don't like the word, I think it just sounds weird. And again, is there a male equivalent? If not, I don't use it.
I laughed when I read that your husband has been called ma'am. I have a friend who is a woman but who gets called "sir" or "mister" ALL the time. She just laughs about it at this point.
I don't think age has anything to do with it, it is a contraction of "Madam", which signifies a married woman. So as to age, I would probably say that women who are clearly out of their teens, and are probably 25 or older.
I am personally sick of this whole "ma'am" "sir" debate.
It boils down to this - 1. If you are a Northerner visiting the South, you will find yourself being called "ma'am" or "sir" as the case may be. This may also happen if an individual, such as a server at a restaurant, did not understand you. Then you will hear "Ma'am?" or "Sir?" as the case may be.
2. If you join the military, you will use and hear these terms.
DEAL WITH IT - or STAY HOME.
3. If you are from the South and are traveling in the North, please do not be appalled if you are NOT addressed by these appellations, please do not feel insulted. This is not our custom.
4. In the North it is not indicative of "poor manners" or a "substandard upbringing" when these terms are not used.
If you can't deal with it, again, stay don't travel.
I've heard that some women see "ma'am" as a form of address that makes them sound old. To them, I ask two questions-1)What age would you be fine with/expect to be called "ma'am" (and how old would a woman look before you would use "ma'am" on her), and 2)How would you prefer to be addressed if not "ma'am," (and what degree of respect would you show to a woman too young for "ma'am")?
I can tell you how I feel about being addressed as "sir". I consider it as an insult. Using it is the same as saying that someone is old enough that they are no longer considered to be in play and are of no interest to the person using the term.
I've heard that some women see "ma'am" as a form of address that makes them sound old. To them, I ask two questions-1)What age would you be fine with/expect to be called "ma'am" (and how old would a woman look before you would use "ma'am" on her), and 2)How would you prefer to be addressed if not "ma'am," (and what degree of respect would you show to a woman too young for "ma'am")?
AT 29 its BABE.
After 30 and 7 months its madame.
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I have a friend who is a woman but who gets called "sir" or "mister" ALL the time. She just laughs about it at this point.
