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Ok, so you want to ask a woman a question, but you do not know her name. What would you address her as to let her know you are talking to her? Same for a man?
"Excuse me, do you happen to have the time?"
Works for all ages and either gender. Contrary to popular belief, no "hey you" is involved.
Nothing wrong with adding ma'am or sir but it is perfectly polite amd respectful even without the honorific.
M'aam to southern ears is one thing and usually it is polite. But to Northern (and Western) ears it sounds rude or akin to calling someone old. I think thats where the whole "Don't call me m'aam" thing in politics came up. For the southern gentleman, he was trying to be respectful, but to her, a northerner representing a western state, it came off as the opposite.
The term has nothing at all to do with age and those of us who were taught at a very young age what respect is and how to address someone with respect knows the difference. Being referred to as *my old lady* by one's husband is disrespectful in my opinion.
I wouldn't tolerate that for one hot second. That expression has always made my skin crawl.
Well, ma'am, you folks up there in "affluent southern New England" sure are special. Here in the islands older folks are referred to as "Uncle" and "Auntie" as terms of respect. I'm guessing that would cause your affluent southern New England head to explode.
Mahalo
Hoot
I knew a couple years ago who were first-generation immigrants from mainland China, and the woman called all elderly ladies "Grandma." I think it raised a few eyebrows, but I knew her well enough to realize that she still had a very traditional outlook that held the aged in high esteem, and meant it as a term of affection and respect.
tho not overly popular up north here,,it does mean respect,,
we use more "dear" hon" "honey"
I like "darlin" but the men hating pc crowd seems to get offended by that
Ha! I adore men, but unless he's old enough to be my grandpa (80+) I don't want any man I'm not related to calling me "hon" or "honey" and certainly not "darlin'"!!
I've heard that some women see "ma'am" as a form of address that makes them sound old. To them, I ask two questions-1)What age would you be fine with/expect to be called "ma'am" (and how old would a woman look before you would use "ma'am" on her), and 2)How would you prefer to be addressed if not "ma'am," (and what degree of respect would you show to a woman too young for "ma'am")?
When she is obviously senior to the young man addressing her. It also applies when the young man is 15 and the woman is 25.
When I was twenty five a child said sir to me. I looked behind me to see who he was talking to.
I've heard that some women see "ma'am" as a form of address that makes them sound old. To them, I ask two questions-1)What age would you be fine with/expect to be called "ma'am" (and how old would a woman look before you would use "ma'am" on her), and 2)How would you prefer to be addressed if not "ma'am," (and what degree of respect would you show to a woman too young for "ma'am")?
It depends on two things: where in the country you live - south probably okay whatever age - realize they use their manners more often - such as look behind them so a door doesn't shut in someone else's face; and how often ma'am is said in a discussion - more than once or twice appears disrespectful. Mrs is never appropriate because a wedding ring doesn't mean the wife uses the husband's last name or she may be a widow.
I am 22 and regularly get mistaken for 16/17. Yet some older folk call me ma'am. I'm not quite sure why? But I don't mind lol. And I guess I don't really qualify to be called ma'am, and I'm sure it's being used as a term of endearment.
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