Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
The term has nothing at all to do with age and those of us who were taught at a very young age what respect is and how to address someone with respect knows the difference.
Being referred to as *my old lady* by one's husband is disrespectful in my opinion.
There are ways to be respectful and politely address someone without using ma'am, miss, or sir. Honorifics are not the be-all, end-all for showing respect.
In affluent southern New England, ma'am is not used at all. Sir? Sure. That's formal. Ma'am is informal. The only people who use it in my zip code are ex-military or cops pretending to be ex-military. There is no way in the world I would address a woman in a business meeting as ma'am. A young girl is "Miss Smith". A woman is "Ms Smith".
i grew up in the south, and ma'am is used for all women any age
and sir is used for all men any age.
i love both these and use them to this day some 5 decades later.
to me they indicate respect, courtesy, grace, and elegance.
a few people in other parts of the country have told me they take offense to these phrases, they associated those terms with military use and for that reason did not like them at all
In affluent southern New England, ma'am is not used at all. Sir? Sure. That's formal. Ma'am is informal. The only people who use it in my zip code are ex-military or cops pretending to be ex-military. There is no way in the world I would address a woman in a business meeting as ma'am. A young girl is "Miss Smith". A woman is "Ms Smith".
Well, ma'am, you folks up there in "affluent southern New England" sure are special. Here in the islands older folks are referred to as "Uncle" and "Auntie" as terms of respect. I'm guessing that would cause your affluent southern New England head to explode.
My experience is in New England and the upper Midwest..
I've used "ma'am" if I have no other information to use ( don't know if she's single/married, etc), or if I have to get her attention very quickly, and I can't afford to use all the formalities. Most people are pretty understanding, as there is no single correct answer...
This. Heck, I say ma'am to the teenage girl behind the counter at Hardee's.
I'm a Northern Southerner....I am from the North(first 24 years of life) Married a Tennessee Gent, and made our home iin Florida 40+ years ago. We say ma'am and sir. Usually though if the girl is young(uner 20 maybe) I will call her miss. Any one older than that is ma'm if I don't know their name. We brought our sons up to say ma'm and sir to any adult. .... But for the neighbors or our friends we called them Mr. Dan and Mrs. June etc if they are cool with it.
Ma'm is not a bad word. It does not mean you are old. It is a substitute for a person's name and is definitely more respectful than Yo, Hey, Hey you, Lady, Old Lady, Old Man, babe, dude, dudette,buddy, gramps, girly, hey you old woman, old hag, doll, honey, (though we Southerners do call people Honey and Sugar alot... even Sweety now that I am an elder)etc. .
Well, ma'am, you folks up there in "affluent southern New England" sure are special. Here in the islands older folks are referred to as "Uncle" and "Auntie" as terms of respect. I'm guessing that would cause your affluent southern New England head to explode.
Mahalo
Hoot
your post made me smile
my eldest son recently got married to someone half way around the world and I am more than a little intimidated by my new in-laws who (to my way of thinking) are rather outspoken and blunt and, well, in the words of my son "they're bossy." However this rather stern gruff bossy in law (my son's new mother in law) won my heart at one of the wedding receptions recently. She was "organizing" the clean up, that is telling people what to do and telling them what they were doing wrong and re-doing what they did because it did not meet her standards. At one point she was scolding one of my other sons (who is 30) and and sternly told him, "Go talk to your mommy and listen to what she tells you." It was hilarious. I am 58 and she calls me mommy. At another dinner there were about 18 cousins that flew in from another continent, and at the very loud boisterous supper in the restaurant, with everyone talking at once and the cousins talking about auntie this and auntie that, and one of them called me auntie and the mother in law corrected her that is mommy so all the cousins call me mommy too, or auntie mommy. I love it.
i love the auntie tag
Last edited by Tzaphkiel; 05-15-2017 at 09:45 PM..
There are ways to be respectful and politely address someone without using ma'am, miss, or sir. Honorifics are not the be-all, end-all for showing respect.
Ok, so you want to ask a woman a question, but you do not know her name. What would you address her as to let her know you are talking to her? Same for a man?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
