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Again, it's not a matter of better manners to use those words, rather it's different manners.
Interesting, my impression is southerners using their manners more often is just different than Northerners, and as such terms as ma'am aren't that big of deal.
I think anytime a woman reaches what seems to be an age where being married is a likelihood. "Ma'am", as opposed to "Miss", is the proper form of address for a woman who is married. That's all, nothing more. It's not an insult, it's just good manners. Age has nothing to do with it. Where this thing about "Ma'am" being for older women got started is a mystery to me.
Interesting, my impression is southerners using their manners more often is just different than Northerners, and as such terms as ma'am aren't that big of deal.
But to "use their manners more often" certainly suggests that others use manners less often. Which, to me, sounds like using those honorifics is showing good manners and not using them is declining to use good manners. With your follow up indicating they just don't care whether they have manners or not.
I'd never heard of anyone being offended by ma'am or sir until I read it on City-Data forums. It blows me away that people can be offended by being treated with respect. I was raised in CA and lived my whole life there until 4 years ago. We moved to TN and I've never heard anyone say that this offended them until I read it here. Seems like some people go around looking for something to be offended by.
I'd never heard of anyone being offended by ma'am or sir until I read it on City-Data forums. It blows me away that people can be offended by being treated with respect. I was raised in CA and lived my whole life there until 4 years ago. We moved to TN and I've never heard anyone say that this offended them until I read it here. Seems like some people go around looking for something to be offended by.
Yeah I don't understand the taking offense when people are simply trying to be respectful in the way they were taught.
Although I will admit that hearing "Miss (firstname)" is like nails on a chalkboard to me. I hate it. But I'm certainly not offended if young children use it. Thankfully it's not the custom where I live.
My gripe is only with the implication (and there is always someone) who posts with clear disdain, that those who were brought up correctly know that using those honorifics if the proper way to address people. And that the only alternative to ma'am or sir is "hey you!".
I've heard that some women see "ma'am" as a form of address that makes them sound old. To them, I ask two questions-1)What age would you be fine with/expect to be called "ma'am" (and how old would a woman look before you would use "ma'am" on her), and 2)How would you prefer to be addressed if not "ma'am," (and what degree of respect would you show to a woman too young for "ma'am")?
Don't EVER call me ma'am. I find it rude and condescending. Even when I lived in the South, I never got used to being called ma'am. Quite often it was rudely said. I hear it in the north periodically and it's usually said REALLY rudely.
I've heard that some women see "ma'am" as a form of address that makes them sound old. To them, I ask two questions-1)What age would you be fine with/expect to be called "ma'am" (and how old would a woman look before you would use "ma'am" on her), and 2)How would you prefer to be addressed if not "ma'am," (and what degree of respect would you show to a woman too young for "ma'am")?
Don't EVER call me ma'am. I find it rude and condescending. Even when I lived in the South, I never got used to being called ma'am. Quite often it was rudely said. I hear it in the north periodically and it's usually said REALLY rudely.
If you find it "rude and condescending," it's very likely that you were projecting "quite often rudely said" when it was nothing of the sort, especially in the South.
Don't EVER call me ma'am. I find it rude and condescending. Even when I lived in the South, I never got used to being called ma'am. Quite often it was rudely said. I hear it in the north periodically and it's usually said REALLY rudely.
Dear Sir - I find it amusing yet troubling that you find it "rude and condescending" when people are merely trying to be polite.
Have a nice day
Hoot
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