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Don't EVER call me ma'am. I find it rude and condescending. Even when I lived in the South, I never got used to being called ma'am. Quite often it was rudely said. I hear it in the north periodically and it's usually said REALLY rudely.
That's more on you than it is on the ma'amer.
I mean, if you get this hostile towards someone who is simply trying his or her level best to be polite, then seek professional help. Maybe lithium.
i'd never heard of anyone being offended by ma'am or sir until i read it on city-data forums. It blows me away that people can be offended by being treated with respect. I was raised in ca and lived my whole life there until 4 years ago. We moved to tn and i've never heard anyone say that this offended them until i read it here. Seems like some people go around looking for something to be offended by.
Status:
"It's WARY, or LEERY (weary means tired)"
(set 17 days ago)
Location: A Yankee in northeast TN
16,141 posts, read 21,276,066 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ss20ts
Don't EVER call me ma'am. I find it rude and condescending. Even when I lived in the South, I never got used to being called ma'am. Quite often it was rudely said.
The times I hear it said rudely it's usually in response to the way in which I've said something. Usually it's because I've told someone to do something instead of asking them to do something, or I've used a tone that is too abrupt and 'northern'. That's on me and I accept that, even though it can get frustrating at times. I've been down south for what seems like a hundred years and I'm STILL learning the nuances, but I realize that I need to adapt to the customs here, not the other way round.
Dear Sir - I find it amusing yet troubling that you find it "rude and condescending" when people are merely trying to be polite.
Have a nice day
Hoot
In a white collar business environment on the left coast or right coast, ma'am is a banned word. The only usage is when people are being intentionally sexist, rude, or condescending. No different than using a term of endearment like "honey" or "sweetheart". You don't address a woman with an elite university education and 6 figure career track with terms of endearment. That's Mad Men "sweetie, fetch me some coffee".
If you think it's "trying to be polite", it's pretty clear that's not your environment. South of the Mason-Dixon Line or from ex-military? Sure. In a Northeast Corridor or Bay Area office tower? Nope, unless you want to come off as some semi-literate hick from the south.
But to "use their manners more often" certainly suggests that others use manners less often. Which, to me, sounds like using those honorifics is showing good manners and not using them is declining to use good manners. With your follow up indicating they just don't care whether they have manners or not.
Terms like "better" or "good" are subjective so it doesn't make sense to judge a demographic group based on how often or less they use manners.
In a white collar business environment on the left coast or right coast, ma'am is a banned word. The only usage is when people are being intentionally sexist, rude, or condescending. No different than using a term of endearment like "honey" or "sweetheart". You don't address a woman with an elite university education and 6 figure career track with terms of endearment. That's Mad Men "sweetie, fetch me some coffee".
If you think it's "trying to be polite", it's pretty clear that's not your environment. South of the Mason-Dixon Line or from ex-military? Sure. In a Northeast Corridor or Bay Area office tower? Nope, unless you want to come off as some semi-literate hick from the south.
I am in New York two-three times a year doing business with clients up there. I have a largish healthcare client in Boston. One in Baltimore, too. Weird how no one up there has ever deemed me to be some semi-illiterate hick.
Last edited by MinivanDriver; 05-16-2017 at 12:58 PM..
In a white collar business environment on the left coast or right coast, ma'am is a banned word. The only usage is when people are being intentionally sexist, rude, or condescending. No different than using a term of endearment like "honey" or "sweetheart". You don't address a woman with an elite university education and 6 figure career track with terms of endearment. That's Mad Men "sweetie, fetch me some coffee".
If you think it's "trying to be polite", it's pretty clear that's not your environment. South of the Mason-Dixon Line or from ex-military? Sure. In a Northeast Corridor or Bay Area office tower? Nope, unless you want to come off as some semi-literate hick from the south.
That's a shame those folks are so judgemental and close-minded.
I'm seeing things swinging the other way. Being called ma'am has never bothered me--there's little enough civility in the world these days. I'm now being called miss. I'm 52.
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