Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
It is a lot of work to move people's furniture. That is why when most people want help moving, most friends run for cover and say they are busy.
So one time I was excited about having a new friend and when she asked for help moving things I was not too busy and spent my afternoon helping with the move.
I always thought that one aspect of friendship was: " I help you with something, and then you help me later" Life has told me through the years that most people don't think that way. I do them a big favor and then when I need help, they are usually too busy to help me. When I complain, they say my philosophy of: "I help you with something, and then you help me" does not make sense. They say "I don't owe you anything. You helped me, that was nice, but it should not be a tit for tat arrangement."
A common reply should be, "well find new and better friends." But most new friends seem to agree with the lady who I helped move but would not help me out when I needed her. Thoughts?
It is a lot of work to move people's furniture. That is why when most people want help moving, most friends run for cover and say they are busy.
So one time I was excited about having a new friend and when she asked for help moving things I was not too busy and spent my afternoon helping with the move.
I always thought that one aspect of friendship was: " I help you with something, and then you help me later" Life has told me through the years that most people don't think that way. I do them a big favor and then when I need help, they are usually too busy to help me. When I complain, they say my philosophy of: "I help you with something, and then you help me" does not make sense. They say "I don't owe you anything. You helped me, that was nice, but it should not be a tit for tat arrangement."
A common reply should be, "well find new and better friends." But most new friends seem to agree with the lady who I helped move but would not help me out when I needed her. Thoughts?
Is that what happened when you asked your friend to drive you to the airport? You mentioned nothing about that in this post. But yes, I do think it's unfortunate when people who you've helped don't help you out in return. That's why I would choose to rely on Uber/Lyft instead of friends.
It is a lot of work to move people's furniture. That is why when most people want help moving, most friends run for cover and say they are busy.
So one time I was excited about having a new friend and when she asked for help moving things I was not too busy and spent my afternoon helping with the move.
I always thought that one aspect of friendship was: " I help you with something, and then you help me later" Life has told me through the years that most people don't think that way. I do them a big favor and then when I need help, they are usually too busy to help me. When I complain, they say my philosophy of: "I help you with something, and then you help me" does not make sense. They say "I don't owe you anything. You helped me, that was nice, but it should not be a tit for tat arrangement."
A common reply should be, "well find new and better friends." But most new friends seem to agree with the lady who I helped move but would not help me out when I needed her. Thoughts?
I couldn't say anything better than you've said yourself.
OP, you said in your post that when she needed help moving, you were not too busy. The thing with moving is that it usually is a lot more flexible than a flight, where a person has to be at the airport by a set time, but not too early.
Much of the time, those times are either super early in the morning, during someone's workday, or at a time that might conflict with something they already have planned. No one wants to be dropped off 5 hours early to avoid the conflict, and they certainly can't be dropped off late. That's why you call Uber/Lyft or drive yourself.
A flight is not a life or death situation. No one is going to move stuff around like work or something pre-planned to do that for a new friend. They would do it for an immediate family member, but that's about it.
If your friend drove you to the airport, were also expecting her to pick you up on your return?
How far is the airport- 30 minutes, 45 minutes- one or two hours away ? What kind of traffic- crazy highway congestion, etc.
Many people don't like highway driving, especially the confusion in major airport traffic and even more so if she isn't familiar with it. I wouldn't depend on people you know to take you to the airport. Either drive yourself and factor in long term parking , use Uber/Lyft or see if there is commercial service to the airport ( buses, livery vans, limos ).
Last edited by willow wind; 05-15-2017 at 06:05 AM..
It is a lot of work to move people's furniture. That is why when most people want help moving, most friends run for cover and say they are busy.
So one time I was excited about having a new friend and when she asked for help moving things I was not too busy and spent my afternoon helping with the move.
I always thought that one aspect of friendship was: " I help you with something, and then you help me later" Life has told me through the years that most people don't think that way. I do them a big favor and then when I need help, they are usually too busy to help me. When I complain, they say my philosophy of: "I help you with something, and then you help me" does not make sense. They say "I don't owe you anything. You helped me, that was nice, but it should not be a tit for tat arrangement."
A common reply should be, "well find new and better friends." But most new friends seem to agree with the lady who I helped move but would not help me out when I needed her. Thoughts?
Uber, Lyft, taxi..pick one and leave your friends alone.
Uber, Lyft, taxi..pick one and leave your friends alone.
And they should also hire a moving service and leave the OP alone.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
