Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I do actually want to do that but I don't know how to do that without putting him in an awkward position. Any suggestions?
My youngest has ADD AND he's a little bit on the autistic spectrum.
Regarding the ADD, I would bet that it takes a LOT of his time to study and get his school work done, so that might be eating up a lot of his time.
IF your friend is anywhere on the spectrum, he's not going to be very good at picking up social cues. He might be totally unaware that there should be a tit for tat in this area.
IMO, I would give him another chance, and just ask him if you're becoming annoying to him, and if so, he should feel free to decline an invite. The way I see it, either way, he's going to tell you you're not being annoying. Either he's NOT socially awkward, and wants the conversation to go smoothly (but will keep your advice about graciously declining invites in mind) OR he really likes your company, but is missing the social ques about reciprocating invites.
Lots of people go out to lunch where I work. If it's up to me, I never would because I don't like to spend the money and I always eat more than I do when I bring my lunch. Still, if someone invites me I usually say "yes," because I like the people I work with and am happy to be sociable. But I never initiate the lunch invitation.
So, try not to read too much into what your friend is doing. He may have reasons for not inviting you that have nothing to do with you.
My youngest has ADD AND he's a little bit on the autistic spectrum.
Regarding the ADD, I would bet that it takes a LOT of his time to study and get his school work done, so that might be eating up a lot of his time.
IF your friend is anywhere on the spectrum, he's not going to be very good at picking up social cues. He might be totally unaware that there should be a tit for tat in this area.
IMO, I would give him another chance, and just ask him if you're becoming annoying to him, and if so, he should feel free to decline an invite. The way I see it, either way, he's going to tell you you're not being annoying. Either he's NOT socially awkward, and wants the conversation to go smoothly (but will keep your advice about graciously declining invites in mind) OR he really likes your company, but is missing the social ques about reciprocating invites.
I hope you give him another chance.
I know that his ADD does affect him as he does take tablets for his ADD. But I don't personally have any experience with the disability so I'm not familiar with how the condition can manifest in relationships. I have tried to read up on it but I can't find much.
I think his Social Skills may not be as advanced as I first thought.
I will wait and see if he messages me again. It's just difficult to decide what to do in terms of keeping myself in a good position and not being taken advantage of because I don't know what his opinion is as he does seem to be a people pleaser kind of person.
So, I have an acquaintance who I've known for 9 months, here at university. We met each other at a society and we hit it off from there.
It started off that he invited me out for coffee a few times, then he stopped that so I invited him. We've been out for coffee and a few meals umpteen different times. Which is fine, except he doesn't iniate contact with me outside the groups or outside the coffee/meals.
It's always me messaging him and inviting him. Never do I hear from him. We last went for lunch about two weeks ago, and I haven't heard from him since.
I am getting the impression that by not contacting me he is giving hints that he isn't interested in friendship? I'm kind of getting tired of always being the one to initiate things. I get the impression, that I wouldn't hear anything from him for weeks if I didn't initiate contact.
In anycase, any friendship I have has always been met with a constant back and forth dialogue, I don't have that with this "friendship" and to me that is a little odd.
I'm totally confused? If he doesn't want to be bothered, why does he keep meeting up? Should I stop bothering with him altogether and move on?
First off, are you male or female?
Is your sexual preference the same as his?
I don't ask to put you on the spot, but if one of you is gay and the other isn't - well, that isn't going to work - and he may not be open to coming out to you...
Just a thought.
I know that his ADD does affect him as he does take tablets for his ADD. But I don't personally have any experience with the disability so I'm not familiar with how the condition can manifest in relationships. I have tried to read up on it but I can't find much.
I think his Social Skills may not be as advanced as I first thought.
I will wait and see if he messages me again. It's just difficult to decide what to do in terms of keeping myself in a good position and not being taken advantage of because I don't know what his opinion is as he does seem to be a people pleaser kind of person.
How do you feel like you're being taken advantage of? Are you romantically interested in this person?
I told him to message me where he wants to go and when. That way, he has a get out clause if he doesn't want to come.
And yes I think he's disinterested but that's up to him to sort out. In anycase, I gave him a chance to come clean when I raised his lack of "bluntness" before.
Since you told him to message you if he wants to go and when, the ball is in his court.
Quote:
Originally Posted by GymFanatic
I know that his ADD does affect him as he does take tablets for his ADD. But I don't personally have any experience with the disability so I'm not familiar with how the condition can manifest in relationships. I have tried to read up on it but I can't find much.
I think his Social Skills may not be as advanced as I first thought.
I will wait and see if he messages me again. It's just difficult to decide what to do in terms of keeping myself in a good position and not being taken advantage of because I don't know what his opinion is as he does seem to be a people pleaser kind of person.
You aren't being taken advantage of....he hasn't done anything, you are the one who keeps contacting him.
Don't blame his behavior on ADD (or any other medical condition you might think of). You are trying to find something to blame for his behavior. The reality is if he wanted to contact you, he would.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
