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So lately, I have gotten very limited calls, texts, messages from people and its been making me quite lonely. I'm not the type of person that needs to be constantly stimulated by calls, text or any other messages. I'm also the type of person that does enjoy my alone time, that can be alone for a little while but I also definitely appreciate being thought of. I'm not one to pester people pathetically with text and I think I do a great job of giving people their space, I'm quite an understanding person in that people have their life.
On the other hand however, I also get tired of being the one to always initiate contact and to make plans. I don't get it, because if I don't initiate anything, NOTHING happens. Hardly anyone calls, texts, contacts me, invites me out etc. It's not to say I never get invited out but I can get no invite for a very long time if I don't make any effort. There's also times where I sometimes get invited out more than usual but for the most part, forget it.
What I'm trying to understand is that people tend is that for the most part people tend to really like me, enjoy my company and the such. I'm not dropping my baggage or drama on anyone, I never have done anyone wrong etc. Like anyone else I'm certainly not perfect but as for as social interaction, I think I do a good job of being approachable, personable, honest, considerate and other qualities that would make for decent human being.
I work, I make my own money, I partake in events, partake in other hobbies, I get numbers, approach people, I don't kiss butt, I'm genuine, I do the things you're "supposed to do". I just don't get why I'm failing at people hitting me up.
Seriously, what am I doing wrong? I must be doing something wrong because nothing is right.
Perception of others. Sometimes you may not know how big of a bubble you have around you. My daughter was an expert at keeping people away, and letting only those in she wanted. Sometimes she became invisible, and I think it was partially due to the perception of others that she was a "loner" of sorts, when in fact she wasn't. Just a wild guess.
After my hubby died I would some times go 6 days or more with out talking to a human besides myself. I only carry a cell for emergencies. No one has my number on the cell. It is only a go phone. Some times after a few days of not speaking to a human in person not just online I find myself even avoiding the phone . If the phone rings I let the answering machine pick it up. And I find myself only walking up to the post office to get my mail when I am sure no one else will be there. Guess I am pretty extreme in the opposite direction than you are. Does not bother me one bit no one calls. I have a few good friends and it is all I need.
I hope you can sort it out as it appears to be making you unhappy. Sorry for that.
If you are single and most of your friends and acquaintances are married perhaps with children as well, that could explain why you don't get as many invites. One, couples prefer to go out with other couples, not singles. Two, children can make it difficult for a couple to go out as often. Eventually they even stop calling or messaging.
I have friends who initiate a lot of things, and friends that initiate little if anything. Rather than worry about who is initiating what, just call up some people and go out. At the end of the day, does it really matter who started the outing, as long as you go out and enjoy yourself and some people.
So lately, I have gotten very limited calls, texts, messages from people and its been making me quite lonely. I'm not the type of person that needs to be constantly stimulated by calls, text or any other messages. I'm also the type of person that does enjoy my alone time, that can be alone for a little while but I also definitely appreciate being thought of. I'm not one to pester people pathetically with text and I think I do a great job of giving people their space, I'm quite an understanding person in that people have their life.
On the other hand however, I also get tired of being the one to always initiate contact and to make plans. I don't get it, because if I don't initiate anything, NOTHING happens. Hardly anyone calls, texts, contacts me, invites me out etc. It's not to say I never get invited out but I can get no invite for a very long time if I don't make any effort. There's also times where I sometimes get invited out more than usual but for the most part, forget it.
What I'm trying to understand is that people tend is that for the most part people tend to really like me, enjoy my company and the such. I'm not dropping my baggage or drama on anyone, I never have done anyone wrong etc. Like anyone else I'm certainly not perfect but as for as social interaction, I think I do a good job of being approachable, personable, honest, considerate and other qualities that would make for decent human being.
I work, I make my own money, I partake in events, partake in other hobbies, I get numbers, approach people, I don't kiss butt, I'm genuine, I do the things you're "supposed to do". I just don't get why I'm failing at people hitting me up.
Seriously, what am I doing wrong? I must be doing something wrong because nothing is right.
Perhaps because they KNOW that you'll ring and text them that they take it for granted but not in a bad way but it's just the usual habit and the norm therefore they don't think to contact you spontaneously?
Or they know your schedule and believe you're busy and wait until you initiate contact that way they know you're free?
I do get this and personally don't think you're actually doing anything wrong as such but people are wired differently
So lately, I have gotten very limited calls, texts, messages from people and its been making me quite lonely. I'm not the type of person that needs to be constantly stimulated by calls, text or any other messages. I'm also the type of person that does enjoy my alone time, that can be alone for a little while but I also definitely appreciate being thought of. I'm not one to pester people pathetically with text and I think I do a great job of giving people their space, I'm quite an understanding person in that people have their life.
On the other hand however, I also get tired of being the one to always initiate contact and to make plans. I don't get it, because if I don't initiate anything, NOTHING happens. Hardly anyone calls, texts, contacts me, invites me out etc. It's not to say I never get invited out but I can get no invite for a very long time if I don't make any effort. There's also times where I sometimes get invited out more than usual but for the most part, forget it.
What I'm trying to understand is that people tend is that for the most part people tend to really like me, enjoy my company and the such. I'm not dropping my baggage or drama on anyone, I never have done anyone wrong etc. Like anyone else I'm certainly not perfect but as for as social interaction, I think I do a good job of being approachable, personable, honest, considerate and other qualities that would make for decent human being.
I work, I make my own money, I partake in events, partake in other hobbies, I get numbers, approach people, I don't kiss butt, I'm genuine, I do the things you're "supposed to do". I just don't get why I'm failing at people hitting me up.
Seriously, what am I doing wrong? I must be doing something wrong because nothing is right.
Do you show an interest in others and what is going on in their lives?
Reason I ask is this isn't just one person doing this to you, but a few people.
If you go out and you just talk about yourself people tire of that.
I know someone who told me they recently reconnected with on old friend from HS through Facebook. They got together and had a 3 hour lunch, the "old friend" only talked about themself, never asked one question or showed any interest in the person I know. That was the first and last lunch.
So lately, I have gotten very limited calls, texts, messages from people and its been making me quite lonely. I'm not the type of person that needs to be constantly stimulated by calls, text or any other messages. I'm also the type of person that does enjoy my alone time, that can be alone for a little while but I also definitely appreciate being thought of. I'm not one to pester people pathetically with text and I think I do a great job of giving people their space, I'm quite an understanding person in that people have their life.
On the other hand however, I also get tired of being the one to always initiate contact and to make plans. I don't get it, because if I don't initiate anything, NOTHING happens. Hardly anyone calls, texts, contacts me, invites me out etc. It's not to say I never get invited out but I can get no invite for a very long time if I don't make any effort. There's also times where I sometimes get invited out more than usual but for the most part, forget it.
What I'm trying to understand is that people tend is that for the most part people tend to really like me, enjoy my company and the such. I'm not dropping my baggage or drama on anyone, I never have done anyone wrong etc. Like anyone else I'm certainly not perfect but as for as social interaction, I think I do a good job of being approachable, personable, honest, considerate and other qualities that would make for decent human being.
I work, I make my own money, I partake in events, partake in other hobbies, I get numbers, approach people, I don't kiss butt, I'm genuine, I do the things you're "supposed to do". I just don't get why I'm failing at people hitting me up.
Seriously, what am I doing wrong? I must be doing something wrong because nothing is right.
I completely understand this and living the same life. I just do more with my family. I stopped reaching out to people April 2016, and I have not heard from many people since then. I try to make new friends but never get anywhere past small talk. I enjoy my cats a lot more than I did a few years ago, so now I know how the crazy cat lady thing happened.
When my social life feels a bit stale I just throw a party. Have you ever thrown a party, OP?
I tried this once. I invited about 20 people and not one person showed up. We cleaned and made food for nothing.
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I tried this once. I invited about 20 people and not one person showed up. We cleaned and made food for nothing. 
