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Your one word responses encourage him instead of discourage him as you want. You need to block him and give him NO RESPONSES whatsoever by email, in person, or on the phone. Good Luck!
Last year I was finally openly gay. I met another gay guy and became friends based off of that (I made it very clear that I was not interested in hooking up or anything of the sort). We hated the same people (at the time I was legitimately traumatized by mental abuse I went through from a narcissist and his enablers), and I guess I stuck onto that for a couple months; but that's all we would talk about.
He would go overboard though, and constantly talk about, quite frankly, concerning ways to get revenge. Like hack into phones or whatever. And I wasn't about it. He did this constantly and schemed to get back at people all the time.
I matured and didn't want to gossip or anything of the sort. Talking about the past means staying in the past.
As a person, I felt like we don't click at all. The only thing we have in common is being gay.
Aside from that, he has sent me selfies literally dozens of times and not once have I ever replied to them. I've even tried to come up with an excuse to get him to not send them and yet he still would send them.
Before even hanging out a second time I tried ending the friendship but he insisted. I gave it another chance.
At the beginning of this year, I still wasn't feeling it. He would constantly text me, and our conversations would last until 3 am and they were incredibly draining and his behavior really concerned me. I tried telling him that the things he does concerns me, and how I'm not a supportive friend and I criticize him often and it makes me feel bad, and I also mentioned that our personalities are different and I feel like we don't mesh well. He said "oh ok, I understand." I thought he got the message.
But then a few weeks pass, and he asks "are you still mad at me?" I was very confused. I said that our personalities were different and didn't match...
Then after a couple of weeks I pretty much started blowing up on him. And then he blew up on me for how much I've criticized him and called me a monster. He stated that he's changing his personality, and obviously I didn't buy it (and I wouldn't want him to change his personality for me anyways). He then asked a couple days later to meet up and talk and I said no.
Then I thought it was over. But... after a few weeks, he just texted me and started venting to me. And I replied and then he vented to me about stuff for a couple weeks then he started doing his regular stuff. I've also noticed that he is trying to become more like me, and constantly talks about "us" like we're the same person.
He also constantly texts me disgusting things or disgusting details about his hook ups and EVERY single time, I have either not replied, or I've only replied with "ew," or told him to stop and that I'd rather not hear it. And he still does it. The last 3 times he's initiated a conversation, first time I didn't reply. Second time, I replied with "nice!" and that's it. Last time I didn't reply. And he still doesn't get it.
I don't like any of his posts on social media. I don't initiate any convos. I don't initiate any hang outs and I reject 99% of the offers. I've tried to end the friendship like 5 times already. I've been cold for a majority of the friendship.
I feel very bad. Because aside from staying up and giving him advice I haven't been a truly supportive friend and it's very obvious that he puts in all the effort. He's even bought me food and spent money on me which I thought was unnecessary. He also has complimented me TONS of times and I've never done the same. I thought straight-up telling him that I don't think we have matching personalities would be enough. But it wasn't. I don't know what to do. I can only ignore so many messages before I feel really bad. I don't hate him, I just don't want him to be anything more than an acquaintance. I don't want someone to have a one-sided friendship with me.
You will have to block this friend. Don't accept anything from him. Do expect an emotional reaction.
Is he unstable enough to be threatening? Is he harassing your? Think about how he reacts to things. Perhaps an email that you carefully word would be a less threatening way to break up. That's what this is; it is a relationhip that needs to be broken. You will have to figure out the best way to do it.
Long, emotionally draining conversations from someone you do not like, and whose social media posts are abhorrent, are things you do not need in a friendship. Break up. Block him. Don't meet up with him.
Some part of you doesn't get hints, either. Each and every time you respond to him, he continues like all is fine. STOP. You are encouraging him.
Don't answer, don't respond, don't engage in any way. Just pretend he isn't contacting you. Delete without reading texts, do not answer when his number shows, don't just don't.
You may not want to block him because that may cause him to become angry.
Is there something about social media I am not getting? It seems like it would be utterly simple to just not respond. And yet I see people seemingly unable to extract themselves from conversations they don't want to have.
Because people with no backbone (especially in dating) just stop responding without saying direct that they no longer want to talk to the person. People are too afraid of confrontation, and think they can "nice" their way out of it, because they think they cant handle feeling guilty for 5 minutes.
Sometimes they do create a confrontation, but you have to assert yourself, be an adult and tell them to go away, tell them youre blocking them, THEN block them on the phone and social media.
Simple. block him. If you want to say I am sorry I was not a supportive friend, do so. If you want to send him a gift card so you don't feel bad for owing him spending money on you, do that. But after you say and do what you want to, block him. He will never stop. I had to do this recently. There was a long list of reasons but I only mentioned his temper and said I never want to see you or hear from you again. And then hit the block button. Nothing less would have prevented him from later on sending me a message.
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