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Would you say it's better to make friends with people in your own league? (i.e. education, socioeconomic, traditions, cultural, appearance, interests, etc.)
I have a handful of close female friends that for the most part, have been good people and catty behavior is very low. We frequently compliment each other on our appearance and clothes, and are close, and negativity and conflicts are not that often encountered, though they do happen on occasion.
When I befriended these women (it's been 5+ years), I realized my friendship with my so-called 'best friend' was different.
Looking back, there was frequent underlying jealousy on her part.
Growing up together, she struggled with obesity, while I was the super thin friend. Certain things like going to a club I couldn't do with her because she didn't feel comfortable in those places.
She'd throw snide remarks and backhanded compliments (i.e. Look at those chicken legs! What's up pea head? You're flat as a board but a handful is enough for men!) frequently, yet be supportive and very helpful at the same time.
Even after I moved out of state, and visited on holidays, she still had a lot of pent up jealousy despite us not hanging out like before.
But looking back, we were and are very different. I'm not a beauty queen, but when it came to men, I got the attention and drinks, and she was left hanging in the corner all alone. I can imagine how hurtful it was for her but I tried my best to downplay these situations. Even when she lost all the weight, she was the last to be 'picked' by men from our circle of girlfriends. I can only imagine how hurtful this is.
But with these 'new' girlfriends, snide remarks and backhanded compliments, jealousy, not much. But I'll admit, they are very attractive, and thin and perhaps this lack of difference doesn't breed resentment?
I do think that too much of a difference may make one resent the other, that's if one is insecure. I think it takes a very strong character to look past the differences and be content with herself.
I think it is easier to relate to people who have similar interests and likes as you. Of course you be friends with others but you will be closer to the ones you have common ground with.
This thread should be called, make friends with people on your own attractiveness level.
Why are you still thinking about this? Typically fat women get less attention from men as opposed to the skinny pretty girls...in other news water is wet.
I see a lot less fat people today than i used to. At least this is the case in Boston. People eat healthy and exercise.
This thread should be called, make friends with people on your own attractiveness level.
Why are you still thinking about this? Typically fat women get less attention from men as opposed to the skinny pretty girls...in other news water is wet.
I see a lot less fat people today than i used to. At least this is the case in Boston. People eat healthy and exercise.
There's always going to be someone better looking or uglier or richer or poorer. These things shouldnt matter when choosing friends....but apparently they do to some people
The way she treated me last time I was around, throwing more jabs than usual, and I kept my cool thinking it was because family issues she had at the time.
It was because deep down she hates me and I realized this until recently.
This is a bizarre topic. I am not even sure how to define "on my level" generally. In terms of looks, that is not even something of interest.
For example, I have one friend who was obese when we met as students and is now a super attractive fitness instructor. Looks change, but she's still essentially the same person she was before with the same interests other than fitness (which is an addition).
I have another long-time friend who probably isn't super attractive, but she and her husband combined make a whole lot more money than I do, so clearly they are not at my level in that respect. I have plenty of other friends who are also married and have combined incomes that are WAY higher than my single income.
I also used to do meetups a lot in my old town and my educational level was higher than a lot of people in the group, but I really do not like hanging out with people in my own profession. I didn't care whether a person had a graduate degree or not and was more interested in the particular activity. I made friends with a lot of those people and even if they didn't have a college degree, it was not of interest because we had other common interests! I think having common interests and/or goals is the most important thing in friendships. Whether you are the same age/attractiveness/income/educational levels is irrelevant!
your frenemy's problem isn't her weight but her attitude.
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