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I would certainly welcome my children back into our home in an extraordinary financial circumstance. However, if either one wanted to come back to live with us for any other reason, I would consider it a major failure on our part as parents. My primary goal as a parent was to raise two, healthy adults who were self sufficient emotionally and financially.
It's kind of ironic in a way but when I married and subsequently divorced my mother said to me ' I guess *sigh* if you have no place to live, you could stay with me'... from the way she said it was obvious she didn't want me or my kids back there. But I wouldn't have wanted to move there anyway..As a matter of fact that thought never even entered my mind. Notice, I never used the word 'home'.. It was never a home..
But I'm the total opposite. I've told my kids who are married and have kids and homes of their own that if they ever need a place to stay, my door is always open and we'd find room for them to stay.
Currently my 30ish year old son lives with me but that's only because he's got custody of his son and his job takes him out of state for days at a time. He pays his own bills and does work around the house.
We make it work for my grandson's sake.
Last edited by elliedeee; 07-01-2017 at 08:36 PM..
I moved back home once. I was young, probably 22 or so. I think that happens fairly often, failure to launch. I don't know if multiple times is all that great, but whatever, it happens.
In other parts of the world it's common to have multiple generations under the same roof and it has some advantages, especially if the house is big enough.
IDK, I want my own space. My parents were ok and all, but once you get a taste of being on your own I prefer to live that way.
I knew a guy that had a good job for a long long time. Lived at home til he was 45. He was able to save and invest a boat load of money and he's a millionaire.
I don't... I'd be too embarrassed to say I lived at home and mom still did my laundry, maybe that's just me.
The guy can have his money, he came off like a social reject half the time anyways. LOL.
Some of those 41-year olds living at home, have a very big bank account by now!
And they never moved out? I am guessing you speak about the general US population and not some minority?
I would like to see a statistic. I think that most people who never moved out and don't have at least their own floor in their parents house are uncapable of establishing their own life for probably more than one reason (lazy, unmotivated, handicapped, low paying job, addictions)
I know of plenty of people who never moved out of their parents' house even though they work and earn their own money. Usually, children move out when they get married, so if they're still single, then they stay at their parents' house. Maybe it's a cultural thing, but it's so common among people I know.
Then there are adult children who are single who doesn't work, who doesn't feel bad about using their parents' money and are still relying on them. I feel sorry for those people because even if their parents willed the house to them, bills are ongoing, so if they're not working now, how are they going to pay their bills? I guess then they'll be forced to work, but who's going to hire a 30-40 year old with no job experience?
I have a cousin who moved back home after college. He lived with his parents, paying rent, for about 3 years, and then he went to grad school. Same school he attended for undergrad, about 20 minutes from home. For grad school, he lived in an apartment near campus. This May, he graduated and I learned from his mom, my aunt, that he's moving back home, yet again. From what she was saying, it's supposed to just be temporarily while he finds a job. He's 27. They also have a 23 year-old daughter who finished college last year living with them. Not sure if she pays rent or not.
Parents here, how would you feel about this? Would you allow your adult kids to move back home, and if so, is there a limit to how long or how many times they can use your residence as a fallback?
No parent, but if this is a tolerable situation it is the smart thing to do. If they are paying rent, than who cares? They are helping each other financially.
I'm sure if the guy could get his own place with a stable job with his grad degree he would.
Things aren't as rosey as people like to pretend they are as they live in their own plastic world.
You really should check your attitude at the door or do not post on a public forum.
The poster you quoted isn't the only one who sounds like a jerk.
In regards to your original post, whatever the individual family has determined is right for them is what is right for them. It is or should be kept between that family alone. It is that simple and not the business
of others no matter how *close* you believe you are.
My relationship with my cousins is my business and not yours. You’re doing the same thing you’re accusing me of doing. That makes you a hypocrite. And you have poor reading comprehension. Read the OP again if you didn’t get the question.
I had 3 cousins that never left home. It was none of my business and what your cousins do is none of yours.
Maybe that’s the case in your family, but you can’t impose that attitude on others. Believe it or not, not everybody thinks like you do.. That said, my relationship with my cousins is my business. Hypocrite.
Maybe that’s the case in your family, but you can’t impose that attitude on others. Believe it or not, not everybody thinks like you do.. That said, my relationship with my cousins is my business. Hypocrite.
Why your cousins live where they live isn't your business. The only way it would be your business is if they lived with you.
You do come across with a harsh attitude on here. If you're like this in real life, I can see strained relationships in your future.
IMO, it all depends on the relationship between parents and adult kids. If they don't enjoy each other's company and there is a lot of friction, then it would be a really bad idea. If they all like each other and get along well and, once the kids move in, the relationship does not deteriorate due to constant proximity, it might benefit all parties involved. So, case by case and no one-size-fits-all.
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