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I have a cousin who moved back home after college. He lived with his parents, paying rent, for about 3 years, and then he went to grad school. Same school he attended for undergrad, about 20 minutes from home. For grad school, he lived in an apartment near campus. This May, he graduated and I learned from his mom, my aunt, that he's moving back home, yet again. From what she was saying, it's supposed to just be temporarily while he finds a job. He's 27. They also have a 23 year-old daughter who finished college last year living with them. Not sure if she pays rent or not.
Parents here, how would you feel about this? Would you allow your adult kids to move back home, and if so, is there a limit to how long or how many times they can use your residence as a fallback?
I had 3 cousins that never left home. It was none of my business and what your cousins do is none of yours.
Sheesh - I think the OP is just trying to get a sense from parents of adult children about what factors go into their decision-making about this issue - maybe they're trying to determine how to address a similar situation in their own family. I don't think they're trying to butt into someone else's business.
Sheesh - I think the OP is just trying to get a sense from parents of adult children about what factors go into their decision-making about this issue - maybe they're trying to determine how to address a similar situation in their own family. I don't think they're trying to butt into someone else's business.
I think she is. She mentioned she doesn't know if she pays rent, 20 minutes from home.
From her other posts she is not the age of the parents.
I have a cousin who moved back home after college. He lived with his parents, paying rent, for about 3 years, and then he went to grad school. Same school he attended for undergrad, about 20 minutes from home. For grad school, he lived in an apartment near campus. This May, he graduated and I learned from his mom, my aunt, that he's moving back home, yet again. From what she was saying, it's supposed to just be temporarily while he finds a job. He's 27. They also have a 23 year-old daughter who finished college last year living with them. Not sure if she pays rent or not.
Parents here, how would you feel about this? Would you allow your adult kids to move back home, and if so, is there a limit to how long or how many times they can use your residence as a fallback?
Sure. Have and will. In fact, when we retire we plan to buy a house at the outskirts of town large enough to allow any of our children and grandchildren to do exactly that, and hopefully they'll continue that as a family resource for generations to come.
The only requirement is that they contribute substantially to the well-being of the household. That might be rent. That might be doing all the household maintenance between jobs. In twenty years, it might be wiping my butt.
They will always be welcome. In fact, I encourage it to save money while they pursue their degrees and launch their careers. I would expect them to be working, at least part-time, depending on the situation. I want my kids to be happy, to be gainfully employed in the career of their choice and to have a strong sense of belonging and family. If moving home as needed helps them achieve that, so be it.
I'm not a parent yet; but my parents have always stressed that as long as they're around, I'm welcome to live back at their house if I ever need it. I hope I don't reach a point where I need it, but the added security they're providing me is definitely comforting.
I guess, if I were a parent, I would probably have a similar policy. The only case where it wouldn't fly is if my child is making enough to live comfortably on their own or if they are making no real attempt to reach that point.
I have a cousin who moved back home after college. He lived with his parents, paying rent, for about 3 years, and then he went to grad school. Same school he attended for undergrad, about 20 minutes from home. For grad school, he lived in an apartment near campus. This May, he graduated and I learned from his mom, my aunt, that he's moving back home, yet again. From what she was saying, it's supposed to just be temporarily while he finds a job. He's 27. They also have a 23 year-old daughter who finished college last year living with them. Not sure if she pays rent or not.
Parents here, how would you feel about this? Would you allow your adult kids to move back home, and if so, is there a limit to how long or how many times they can use your residence as a fallback?
Once? No big deal. I moved in with my mom for about nine months. I was traveling all the time on biz and my apartment was burgled. I said 'Screw it' and moved in until I had the scratch to move into a more secure place. It happens.
But some people can't cut the cord. My BIL had a terrible divorce 19 years ago, moved into my in-laws' basement and hasn't left. He has owned a successful engineering firm, sold it, and now works for someone else making good coin, but still lives in the in-law's basement. He doesn't have a social life. Just works, drives 90 minutes to work, then comes home. My in-laws think it's a great arrangement because he can do all the handyman things to the house, while I think it's an impoverished existence.
I think that it depends on the circumstances. Our daughter moved home for two years and the help that she gave me with caring for my disabled spouse (her father) more than made up for her not paying rent.
A friend's son lived at home during college and for several years after college and he saved up enough money to pay off his student loans, pay for his wedding and have the down payment for a small house (as his parents did not ask for rent).
Another friend's son lived at home during college & is now working full time. He now pays rent & half of the utilities so both he and his mom have more money to spend on other things than if they lived by themselves in two different places. They treat it like a room mate situation.
OTOH, an adult who doesn't work and just sponges off Mom & Dad often is just a lazy bum.
I had 3 cousins that never left home. It was none of my business and what your cousins do is none of yours.
Take a chill pill, dude. You sound like a jerk. I'm close to my cousins and my aunt, so I have talked with them about the situation, but I am not imposing my beliefs on them.
Also, you misunderstood the post. His college is 20 minutes from home. That has nothing to do with whether he pays rent or not. Check your reading comprehension.
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