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I'm not a parent yet, but I know from me and my brother (its just us two) that my parents didnt care my brother wanted to move out for college, and then straight after college (as in he never moved back home yet). They were even helping him pay for stuff until he got money to not ask them anymore. So far the only thing they still paying for is cell phone for some reason. With me, they are trying to force me to stay home with them for the rest of my life. I do know thats not true since we all have to move out at some point, but somehow they are trying to force me to stay. Its just because they are crazy, not because its "its my daughter so I want to be protective of her" kinda thing.
People criticize those who live at home with their parents. But when their parents get old and sick, they will also criticize them for living far away from their parents.
I was assuming we are talking about our general North American culture here in the US.
The point is that it's nothing inhuman or unnatural.
In fact, it's only been the last couple of generations--the War generation and the Boomer generation--that it hasn't been common in the US. Up until WWII it was not uncommon for adult children to live with their parents on the farm or over the store until the parents died, then take over the family business.
People criticize those who live at home with their parents. But when their parents get old and sick, they will also criticize them for living far away from their parents.
We can't have it both ways, people.
Actually, on the retirement forum the general consensus seems to be that the elderly parents should be willing to move closer to the children when they need extensive help in later years.
I think if you are a parent and your "child" is older than mid 20s and cannot afford living on her/his own for a long period of time or probably ever, you failed as a parent. I am excluding health issues, college, fresh divorce and looking for a new job as they are unplanned emergency situations.
But a normal, healthy mid 20s should generally be mentally and financially able to live on his/her own and should WANT to be out of their parents house and establish their own life.
I have to agree! If there is nothing wrong with the parents (meaning they don't need care) and the child has finished school, has a good job, plus saved money, there is no reason why they should still be living at home. At some point they need to be adults and take care of themselves.
I feel it is usually best for young adults to be basically on their own after college. In fact ideally they should live on their own even during college. They learn a lot about themselves, other people, and handling responsibilities on their own during these years. However, anyone who keeps up with the news knows that these "ideals" are increasingly more difficult to meet. College costs can necessitate a student living at home. Many college grads have difficulty finding jobs, even those with "good" majors. Live requires flexibility.
Location: Stuck on the East Coast, hoping to head West
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I have three kids, all late teens/twenties. They are all legal adults. All still live at home. I'm totally fine with it. They have substantial savings, pay their own bills, pay rent, and help around the house. They are working and finishing college.
We had a big talk about how they are adults and I'm not taking care of them. That means if I feel like cooking, I do. If not, they're on their own. They cannot disrupt my sleep and they can't have sleep overs until they're married. I suppose they'll move out when that becomes an issue. We treat each other respectfully and keep the lines of communication open. Fortunately, we all get along great.
FWIW, we are all big travelers. We do family trips and break off into smaller groups for trips. Between all of us working and traveling, we actually don't spend as much time together as you might think. Maybe that's a good thing.
It depends on the kid and the reason for returning home and how respectful they are as a human being.
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