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It does seem like a bit of a stretch that a choir director is going to be a secret serial killer who kills women in his own church, but that’s just me. I mean, I would think she would tell other people at the church they were going on a date and if she suddenly didn’t come back the next Sunday everyone would think that last they heard, she was going out with the choir director... It sounds like he might be socially clueless and a bit of a creeper, but I don’t think he’s nefarious.
Choir directors, pastors, deacons! They are the worst of the congregation. Notice he told her that he was always let inside. Player alert! Good thing she didn't let him in.
This gents social graces are just fine.
He asked .
The lady had many choices to respond and why.
I took a safety course..And there are ways to remain safe on a date or at the home. She was actually unsafe when in his car!!!
And yes I would have asked if he needed to use the facility or perhaps a bottle of water for his drive back.
This co worker may have sensed concern...Who knows.none of us were there.
All the OP did was support a tad bit of paranoia.
This gents social graces are just fine.
He asked .
The lady had many choices to respond and why.
I took a safety course..And there are ways to remain safe on a date or at the home. She was actually unsafe when in his car!!!
And yes I would have asked if he needed to use the facility or perhaps a bottle of water for his drive back.
This co worker may have sensed concern...Who knows.none of us were there.
All the OP did was support a tad bit of paranoia.
I agree, except I wouldn't say this man had good social graces. He complained and whined when she wouldn't let him in her house. That shows poor boundaries.
I think she would be displaying poor manners to complain to the church/pastor about his behavior on the date. It's not their responsibility to monitor the personal lives of grown adults.
I'm semi retired from the company but I still go in three days a week . A co worker was telling me that she had a date on Wednesday night and he was the choir director at her church . Well when he dropped her off at her place he asked if he could come in and she told him no . She said he became a lil irritated and said that he had driven a good bit to get to her and he never had not been asked in . I told her that was not normal and she did the right thing by telling him no , who knows what he had in mind ? I told her she should also speak to the pastor of the church where he is employed and let the pastor know what occurred . I mean just because they are employed by a church does not mean they are a saint to put it mildly. For some reason that guy that worked for Joyce Meyer came into my head . The guy who handled security for her ministry at one time , he had killed his wife and two boys . Sad just sad . So I feel like I might have saved her life and I'm glad she told me and I told her so . Is this how men are acting on dates now ? I have been married a long time and I would not relish being single in this day and age at all .
Actually, I think it was a bit rude of her not to offer him coffee or use of the bathroom before his long ride back, IF she knew him well. I don't think he should have had that expectation, but I would have thought it inconsiderate not to. I may have made it clear, though, that well...JUST a cup of coffee or tea because I'm tired and "I'm sure you are, too."
I do not think it's appropriate to bring it up to the pastor. The guy did nothing wrong. Why start trouble for someone? What if he "reported" something about her to someone who has no business knowing about the two of them? That's inappropriate.
It does seem like a bit of a stretch that a choir director is going to be a secret serial killer who kills women in his own church, but that’s just me. I mean, I would think she would tell other people at the church they were going on a date and if she suddenly didn’t come back the next Sunday everyone would think that last they heard, she was going out with the choir director... It sounds like he might be socially clueless and a bit of a creeper, but I don’t think he’s nefarious.
Suggesting the man's employer be contacted over this is over the top and inappropriate. No, it isn't different or justified because it's a church.
Also wondering how exactly you feel you "saved her life".
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