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I try to be pleasant to all, but there is this one lady that is getting under my skin. We have several acquaintances in common and there are often social gatherings with these other couples that I am not included. She always makes it known that she was invited (but I was not). I don't know how to respond to her constant needling that I am not part of the "in-crowd". I have been holding my tongue and acting like I do not care, but honestly it is starting to wear on me. There is no way to avoid these people and I live in a small town and frankly I don't want her to think she has influenced me.
My question is: what would be a good come back to stop her from being so nasty? I am always at a loss for words when she starts her harping. Thanks
Tell her there are tons of reasons you didn't get invited and she is obviously not aware of your <insert evil laugh> nefarious past. Your stint at a hospital for the criminally insane. Your overpowering body stench. Your foul breath. Your tendency to undress at the wrong moments. Your kleptomania. Your ability to block every toilet in town. Ok sorry, getting carried away now.
I would never say anything to her that makes her think she is smart, fun, great to be with or anything of that nature.
If she says, "Oh, last night, we all (17 of us) had fun at such a awesome party" (and).."I didn't see you there., hrmm..." (clearly this lady hates you and wants you to feel bad).
I would say;
"You know Linda, you must have been a hated child and had to pay your friends to hang out with you when you were a kid. It seems you are doing the same today, because most people I talk to, can't stand YOU."........ And walk away...
If the snark was completely obvious to me; I’d be stunned. I know it sounds lame but I’d probably just leave!
I’m only quick-witted enough to out-snark somebody when I’m angry. But a very spiteful comment wouldn’t initially make me angry enough ... it would confuse me & hurt me...
And about 30 minutes later, after stewing on the injustice of it all; I’d think of the PERFECT comeback! And another & another ...
But that’s only if the snark was obvious to me. I’m told I’m a “bad judge of character” & that I don’t recognize jabs for what they are. I honestly feel like random people like me & are nice to me.
Over the years; I’ve had to admit that if I’m always defending people’s actions, maybe everybody else is right. I’m always saying stuff like “No, they weren’t honking at me ... I think they knew the people in the other lane ...” Or “She wasn’t giving me a dirty look! The sun was in her eyes!”
But since nobody’s ever forced the issue, as far as insisting that I respond to their digs; I suppose that it works for me. It makes me wonder how many times I’ve actually waved “back” at someone who really was flipping me off, or said “I love your shoes!” to someone who had just made fun of mine!
How about "thank you for the update on who's invited where-- pls keep me posted!"
Don't recall where but I read one time a response to snarky things is to reply with something totally unrelated that confuses them and they are not able to get the hurt response they were looking for--- for example
Rude lady: "you weren't invited to Nancy's dinner"
You: " Can I borrow some sugar? I have brown, but I don't know if I can use it for sugar cookies?" Pleasant poker face
Her :" what?"
You: " hmm, oh you know I have a coupon so I better hurry to that sale, bye!"
Her: scratching head
From my experience I've found this type of response ^^^ (if deemed worthy of a response) most effective, since the witty comeback is often lost on these clueless type of people.
I.E. Deflect and confuse
If they try to get under your skin (I had a guy like this long ago in work environment that was the union steward who was also a part time umpire (clue into his psyche in that he liked to have power and control and in the workplace liked to pull guys chains constantly). Anyway whenever he was near and tried to bait me with some of his schtick, I'd just laugh at his face with a look of disbelief / derision (what kind of moron primate are you - look). Many of these types don't deserve a response because many are small minded and cannot appreciate a good comeback.
Now if its in a group setting and they are idiots about talking down to you then you can sometimes get in with a little counter fencing type comment that can sometimes put the numbskull in their place, you just need to pick those moments and know the audience well for maximum effect.
The original poster hasn't checked back in, but I'm wondering what form this conversation takes.
Surely she doesn't say "I was invited to Jane's baby shower and too bad you weren't".
Yes, that is EXACTLY what she says. And then she proceeds to describe in detail what she did at the party and what a GREAT time everyone had.
Actually I have been really busy getting ready for the Texas Renaissance Festival and haven't been out of the house or even checked this forum. Some of the replies really had me rolling on the floor. Unfortunately I cannot avoid this woman forever. I will see her tomorrow and will be armed and ready. I so appreciate all the fantastic repys.
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I have been avoiding her
