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Hello! I'm seeking some peace of mind, but I realize I may also be inviting criticism. I totally understand either way. My husband and I have lived "between" our families since we got married 8 years ago. They're about 6 hours in each direction. However, we've always talked about moving closer to my family -- a goal that became more important after my youngest brother died suddenly a few years ago. My husband also hates change, so we're just now making the move. He accepted a job and will start soon. This will mean his family will have to drive 9 hours to see us instead of 6, as will we. To me, I see it as added inconvenience but nothing insurmountable. We've been driving 6 hours in both directions for years. Are we horrible to be doing this to them? It's our goal to ensure the kids see their paternal grandparents as much as possible, even meeting in the middle when it works.
I'm glad we're finally making a move we've talked about for a long time, but the guilt over the drive time and "choosing" one side of the family to live near is eating at me.
Hello! I'm seeking some peace of mind, but I realize I may also be inviting criticism. I totally understand either way. My husband and I have lived "between" our families since we got married 8 years ago. They're about 6 hours in each direction. However, we've always talked about moving closer to my family -- a goal that became more important after my youngest brother died suddenly a few years ago. My husband also hates change, so we're just now making the move. He accepted a job and will start soon. This will mean his family will have to drive 9 hours to see us instead of 6, as will we. To me, I see it as added inconvenience but nothing insurmountable. We've been driving 6 hours in both directions for years. Are we horrible to be doing this to them? It's our goal to ensure the kids see their paternal grandparents as much as possible, even meeting in the middle when it works.
I'm glad we're finally making a move we've talked about for a long time, but the guilt over the drive time and "choosing" one side of the family to live near is eating at me.
NO GUILT, please!
This is your life...you can't live it for others.
As you said, the drive is not insurmountable. Meeting in the middle works...
IMHO, once you are married you need to do what is best for your immediate family. Hopefully that works out well for the extended family, too, but you can't worry about them as much as your immediate family.
When our children were young, we lived 3 1/2 to 4 hours from one set of grandparents and 1,000 miles from the other set. Our children grew up being very close to both sets of grandparents. Currently, my grandchildren live 2,000 miles away and I am pretty sure that we are close, too. My other adult child now lives 6,500 miles away from me and we continue to be extremely close.
Times have changed. With Skype, FaceTime, computers, telephones, cars, airplanes you don't have to live next door to your parents for them to be a part of your children's lives.
Hello! I'm seeking some peace of mind, but I realize I may also be inviting criticism. I totally understand either way. My husband and I have lived "between" our families since we got married 8 years ago. They're about 6 hours in each direction. However, we've always talked about moving closer to my family -- a goal that became more important after my youngest brother died suddenly a few years ago. My husband also hates change, so we're just now making the move. He accepted a job and will start soon. This will mean his family will have to drive 9 hours to see us instead of 6, as will we. To me, I see it as added inconvenience but nothing insurmountable. We've been driving 6 hours in both directions for years. Are we horrible to be doing this to them? It's our goal to ensure the kids see their paternal grandparents as much as possible, even meeting in the middle when it works.
I'm glad we're finally making a move we've talked about for a long time, but the guilt over the drive time and "choosing" one side of the family to live near is eating at me.
Put your mind at ease. As long as you and your husband are in accord about the move, don't borrow trouble. Certainly continue to make every effort to keep your children in touch with both sets of grandparents.
It's a three hour addition in driving distance. You are not moving to the other side of the world.
Hello! I'm seeking some peace of mind, but I realize I may also be inviting criticism. I totally understand either way. My husband and I have lived "between" our families since we got married 8 years ago. They're about 6 hours in each direction. However, we've always talked about moving closer to my family -- a goal that became more important after my youngest brother died suddenly a few years ago. My husband also hates change, so we're just now making the move. He accepted a job and will start soon. This will mean his family will have to drive 9 hours to see us instead of 6, as will we. To me, I see it as added inconvenience but nothing insurmountable. We've been driving 6 hours in both directions for years. Are we horrible to be doing this to them? It's our goal to ensure the kids see their paternal grandparents as much as possible, even meeting in the middle when it works.
I'm glad we're finally making a move we've talked about for a long time, but the guilt over the drive time and "choosing" one side of the family to live near is eating at me.
..and why can't you guys FLY?What's the deal with all this driving?To me, flying would be a better solution to everyone's problem on both sides.No more driving...just fly there.
..and why can't you guys FLY?What's the deal with all this driving?To me, flying would be a better solution to everyone's problem on both sides.No more driving...just fly there.
Because driving a few hours is a hell of a lot cheaper than flying 4+ people.
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