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Members of the wedding party and their partners should always be invited to the bridal shower, so It's not a shock that you were invited. I'm not sure why you wouldn't want to join your husband at this celebration of his friend's marriage.
You would just be another person with a gift..that's why you're invited.Don't go.
But, she is not some random stranger off the street or random co-worker or third cousin once removed, she is the wife of a member of the wedding party. I am guessing that she will be invited to all of the important wedding festivities such as the rehearsal dinner, the family brunch the day after the wedding, the gift opening party, (or whatever else this wedding couple plans).
Of course, she does not have to attend the shower but this may be the first of several invitations from the bride & groom so be prepared.
Last edited by germaine2626; 03-29-2018 at 05:58 PM..
My guess is, the fiance didn't invite you because she doesn't know you, and then it became really awkward that her fiance asked your husband if you were going. So the only gracious thing to do, at that point, is to pretend your invite must have gotten lost in the mail and send you another one.
They probably have no real interest in you attending.
And honestly, considering you had met the man only once and never the woman, it's very odd to be shouting greetings at them from another part of the house. If you were truly involved in something that couldn't wait so you couldn't greet them properly, don't keep shouting hello at them. Just greet them when you are able to enter the room. (If you know them very well, that's different and shouting hey guys - I'll be down in a second! would be fine.).
These people are going to be living in your town, and your husband is good friends with the guy. I would think you might want to make an effort here and not start off all insulted.
As far as the "hello" I wrote about in my original post, guess I worded it wrong or some of you misunderstood. My husband answered the door while I was in another room. Again, his house too and this isn't leave it to Beaver where I need to be waiting at the door for my husband's guests, or at least that't not how it is in my house. After I left that room and was literally about a foot away from him and his fiance, is when I said hello and they both 100% heard and ignored it. ..
I don't think anyone is saying you should've been standing at the door in pearls with a tray of drinks in hand, but to not greet your guests when they arrived and shout hello from another room is rather rude, especially when you're meeting people for the first time. I can see why they'd be put off.
As far as the shower, it was likely a courtesy invite only, so you're not obligated to go if you don't want to. I don't think the fiancee will care one way or another.
Guests came to your home, and you didn't go to the door to greet them; but rather yelled at them from another room? And they are the rude ones?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Catgirl64
It doesn't sound like the couple was particularly gracious when they visited your home, but then again, it doesn't sound like you were either.
That was the first thing that struck me. Yelling from another room to greet guests in your home sounds like the first rude action of the encounter.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Me 82
As far as the "hello" I wrote about in my original post, guess I worded it wrong or some of you misunderstood. My husband answered the door while I was in another room. Again, his house too and this isn't leave it to Beaver where I need to be waiting at the door for my husband's guests, or at least that't not how it is in my house. After I left that room and was literally about a foot away from him and his fiance, is when I said hello and they both 100% heard and ignored it.
These are the same people who came, brought a bag of chips, and then took that bag, with literally 2 chips, home with them. DH has told me numerous stories about this guys behavior, but me and DH don't have to like or be best friends with each others friends. He's not my cup of tea, but hey..
The parts I bolded about how you refer to them probably gives them a good idea of how you feel about them and they probably feel similarly about you. It was rude of them to ignore you when you came into the room and stood near them and said hi. No doubt about that. Maybe they were put off by your initial greeting, maybe they don't like you because of your history together, maybe there was something else going on, who knows.
It's not surprising that you got invited. As others have said, wedding guests are often invited to showers-- especially those related to the wedding party.
I personally think showers AND weddings are overkill and I don't see the point of double gifting anyway. I'd talk to your husband about his thoughts, though, as he is a close friend and in the wedding party.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Me 82
These are the same people who came, brought a bag of chips, and then took that bag, with literally 2 chips, home with them. DH has told me numerous stories about this guys behavior, but me and DH don't have to like or be best friends with each others friends. He's not my cup of tea, but hey..
One of the things PreCana premarriage counseling warns is, if you don't like your fiance's friends, it's a concern. Yes, in general, you do need to like each other's friends.
This is kind of a weird story, OP. If your husband doesn't even like this guy, who knows why he is in the wedding.
And BTW, it's DH and I. Not me and DH. Sorry. That just flies all over me.
I don't think anyone is saying you should've been standing at the door in pearls with a tray of drinks in hand, but to not greet your guests when they arrived and shout hello from another room is rather rude, especially when you're meeting people for the first time. I can see why they'd be put off.
As far as the shower, it was likely a courtesy invite only, so you're not obligated to go if you don't want to. I don't think the fiancee will care one way or another.
The other day I met my daughter's boyfriend's mother for the first time. We were invited to her place, but when we arrived, BF showed us in but mom was still in her bedroom with the door closed. After shouting hello for awhile, he finally had to knock on the door and get her to come out. No idea what she was doing in there.
Anyway, I was left with a rather powerful first impression.
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