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Want to take a friend out to brunch and sent a message to schedule it. It's their choice for restaurant/day/time, and my treat. I keep it straightforward and simple, and ask their preference for Day, Restaurant, Time.
They text back asking how my trip out of town was & what's new w/me. I gave a couple word answer. They then ask another question about how the trip went.
I immediately steer them back to the topic, that being setting up our brunch. (Hey let's schedule brunch & we can catch up there!)
Finally they answer about the day (good!).
Then they get chatty again. I ignore that and redirect back: where would they like to go & what time? I let them know I'm open.
They finally suggested a restaurant. (Ok good!)
What time would you like to meet?
Friend responds, "they open at 10am, I'm flexible."
(Why can't this person just pick a time, I already said I was open)
So I select a time, other person agrees. Then I look at the restaurant website and see they actually open an hour later than friend said.
So I move up the time and tell friend what time to be there (this time I'm not asking as that just ends up in more indecision).
TL;DR: I didn't want a conversation, I just wanted to schedule the plans. I use texting to set things up quickly. It's like pulling teeth to get someone to focus on 3 simple things.
^ That is funny. Some people just don't seem to be able to focus.
I have a friend I dread calling. She doesn't text and gets insulted when her own adult children and her grandchildren text her because she thinks they don't want to call her and talk to her--and she is probably right about that.
I know if I call her to ask what time we are meeting another friend for dinner, I will be on the phone for half an hour getting a blow-by-blow of her teenage grandson's baseball game last night, her blood sugar readings for the last three days, what the neighbor said and did, and how her daughter dissed her once again.
I suspect that people who just want to get to the point and get or give information without fluff had more experience working in a business setting and understand the importance of brevity and focusing on the primary subject. I could be wrong about that, though.
Want to take a friend out to brunch and sent a message to schedule it. It's their choice for restaurant/day/time, and my treat. I keep it straightforward and simple, and ask their preference for Day, Restaurant, Time.
They text back asking how my trip out of town was & what's new w/me. I gave a couple word answer. They then ask another question about how the trip went.
I immediately steer them back to the topic, that being setting up our brunch. (Hey let's schedule brunch & we can catch up there!)
Finally they answer about the day (good!).
Then they get chatty again. I ignore that and redirect back: where would they like to go & what time? I let them know I'm open.
They finally suggested a restaurant. (Ok good!)
What time would you like to meet?
Friend responds, "they open at 10am, I'm flexible."
(Why can't this person just pick a time, I already said I was open)
So I select a time, other person agrees. Then I look at the restaurant website and see they actually open an hour later than friend said.
So I move up the time and tell friend what time to be there (this time I'm not asking as that just ends up in more indecision).
TL;DR: I didn't want a conversation, I just wanted to schedule the plans. I use texting to set things up quickly. It's like pulling teeth to get someone to focus on 3 simple things.
Seems like your future approach should be "I would like to treat you to brunch! How's [name of restaurant] on Saturday at 10am?"
I suspect that people who just want to get to the point and get or give information without fluff had more experience working in a business setting and understand the importance of brevity and focusing on the primary subject. I could be wrong about that, though.
I certainly fit that mold, clear simple communication to setup an appointment is just a basic thing for me, like breathing air.
Me: Hi Joe, are we still on for Sunday's breakfast? If so, where and when?
Joe: Hi Evelyn.
Joe: I am off tomorrow, yay.
Joe: Could do breakfast tomorrow.
Me: So Sunday is not good for you?
Joe: Or dinner today, LOL.
Me: So which one is it now???
Joe: All three, lol.
Me: No, this isn't gonna work for me. Sunday at what time and where?
Joe: I am gonna do my car tomorrow. Maybe go riding Sunday.
Me: So okay, I guess Saturday is better then. Or Sunday before riding?
Joe: Depends.
Me: on what??
Joe: Maybe Sunday is good.
Me: I am giving up. I will text you Sunday at 7am and you are either available or not.
Joe: LOL, don't be mad.
Seems like your future approach should be "I would like to treat you to brunch! How's [name of restaurant] on Saturday at 10am?"
I've used that approach as well in the past, then it turns into "nooo that's not good for me..." or "hmmm...I dunno about that cuisine..." and then it gets into this spiral where they expect me to figure out what they like and then keep suggesting options until something sounds good.
My policy is: if I'm treating and it's your special day (like a Bday), then you get to choose the restaurant for the meal.
Me: Hi Joe, are we still on for Sunday's breakfast? If so, where and when?
Joe: Hi Evelyn.
Joe: I am off tomorrow, yay.
Joe: Could do breakfast tomorrow.
Me: So Sunday is not good for you?
Joe: Or dinner today, LOL.
Me: So which one is it now???
Joe: All three, lol.
Me: No, this isn't gonna work for me. Sunday at what time and where?
Joe: I am gonna do my car tomorrow. Maybe go riding Sunday.
Me: So okay, I guess Saturday is better then. Or Sunday before riding?
Joe: Depends.
Me: on what??
Joe: Maybe Sunday is good.
Me: I am giving up. I will text you Sunday at 7am and you are either available or not.
Joe: LOL, don't be mad.
I can see why you'd feel frustrated.
I had a boyfriend who would call his friend at work to setup lunch, and it was a 10 second or less convo that went like this:
BF talking: "Don? Brad. Lunch? Noon. Chinese place on 3rd. Bye."
Well, at least it wasn't all about them. They actually sounded interested in YOU and your happenings.
Why not be grateful?
Some people would enjoy having such an exchange.
Pickle has a very good point, OP. People who are sincerely interesting in their friends/relatives, and are able to focus on something other than themselves, seem to be be rare birds, these days.
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