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Staying happy as a conservative, Christian single requires a different focus than someone who is primarily focused on finding a sexual partner (yeah, sure, call it "soulmate" to sound better). No one is going to find happiness looking for a sexual partner. You may disguise the sexual urge as "love" but it's really not. It's really lust. And when you only focus on what's below your belt and inside your pants, well, that's really a self-absorbed, self-centered existence. It's not going to lead to happiness.
Disguise it any which way you want as "companionship", "soulmate", etc. It's just lust IMO. Most men just pick the woman that "looks hot" to them.
I admire the OP for having found the key to life. Learn how to be happy by yourself. Focus on a spiritual life, helping others, finding meaningful and creative outlets. Yes, it's a lifestyle that's going to be ridiculed A LOT in our society, such as the poster Marc above but IMO, learning how to be alone first and foremost is actually the best way to find a fulfilling life. Focusing on what's below the belt is the WRONG way to go.
Focus on God first. God will direct your life. If you are meant to be single then God will enable you to live a happy single life. If God wants you to be married, then the right person will come along. But not everyone is meant to be coupled. God chooses people to stay single and do certain things that a married person can't do. Many single people are called to take care of elderly parents or to work with the poor. There are many forms of meaningful existence.
Don't be close minded. Being married isn't the "best" or only way to live. And, IMO, cohabitation is definitely not ideal for women or children.
Being single is better than being unhappily married to the wrong person. Being single is far worse than being happily married to the right person. That's the point. The HIGHEST and BEST state is being happily married. The best GOAL is to be open to achieving the highest state of happiness.
Being single can be enjoyed, but it is an unfinished state of existence. Being happily married is AS GOOD AS IT GETS.
The OP should not accept being single as an inevitable or desirable state. It is neither. To declare oneself unlovable and resolve in advance to remain single for the rest of one's life is a diminished second rate existence.
I don't advise it for anyone. You won't die, but you miss out on literally everything good. Romantic love and a career are the foundations of a successful life.
Do you have any statistics to back up your claim that being "happily married" is the be-all and end-all of a happy life, or even worth it to pursue? Because I can tell you, based on the statistics, most marriages are unhappy. In the United States, 41 percent of first marriages alone end in divorce, according to the APA. It's even higher for subsequent marriages. That's not even including all the people that stay in unhappy marriages for any number of reasons
A happy marriage may be nice, but it's so uncommon, it might just be pointless to try to pursue it.
Agree with previous poster. Also a large majority of people in relationships have either cheated or say they would cheat if they knew they wouldn't get caught (see other thread on CD).
I agree that happy marriages are uncommon. Didn't I read 5%? It isn't a majority, by any means.
An acquaintance of mine recently confided that she stayed with her husband for "security". She seems very, very bored with him; they sleep in separate rooms most of the time. She does a lot of activities with girlfriends and not with him. Also told me she's afraid to go places by herself. This is a big, strapping kind of woman. I don't understand her need for protection.
I wouldn't want that kind of "relationship".
I think most women definitely prioritize economic security. That's fine, but don't try to build up marriage like nirvana and the end-all, be-all, when it's really about economic security or sperm donation.
Being single and happy is an oxymoron. No one is truly happy alone. You're just biding time.
Wow.
I was married and I thought we were happy. And then he killed himself. And then I found out that he had lots of very ugly secrets and was a serial adulterer and left me with STDs. Emotionally, it screwed me up pretty thoroughly.
I should have stayed single.
Am I happy alone? Not right now, but I can damn well guarantee that I am on the bus to that place.
Am I happy alone? Not right now, but I can damn well guarantee that I am on the bus to that place.
Do you mind if I steal this and embroider it on a pillow?
I admire your strength.
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