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Most people don't go to a foreign country with someone they are dating casually, and most people would not do so without the means to get themselves home if needed. You have been kinda seeing this guy for what a couple of months not exclusively.
Watching out for your own well being is never dumb.
Quote:
Originally Posted by GiGi603
Agree.
It isn't dumb. If you are getting in a car alone, meeting someone in a remote area, being somewhere in a house alone... I hope you do some checking.
Also, this isn't just about dating someone, you plan to go on an International trip with him.
You hardly know this guy. Have you met his family? Have you met his friends?
What is dumb is going away on an International trip with a guy who is paying for most of the trip and not having a back up plan if something goes very wrong while abroad. Do you have a health care plan that will take care of you in the case of an emergency while you are abroad?
Agree.
I just can't imagine a guy saying "let's jet off to Paris! " while dropping her off at the motel. Something is off.
What kind of 'motel' are we talking about here, since that keeps coming up? I have stayed in every type of hotel and motel. I have rented 'by the week' places of various sorts, when temporarily living out of state or on vacation.
Some of them are nicer and bigger than monthly rentals with leases. I visited a friend in a leased 'apartment' that was tiny and horrible, smaller than most motel/hotel rooms I had ever been in.
I had thought about staying there to save money until I saw it, and how seedy and run-down it was.
I chose to stay in one that looks like a real apartment complex that happened to offer weekly pay as well as monthly rates with no lease.
The one bedrooms were about 800 sq. feet, with a proper sized kitchen and separate bedroom, but mostly what has determined for me which ones are better are how many people stay there for more than a week or a month, and what kind of people.
Working people like OP who haven't gotten up to a point of being able to fund furniture, deposits, all the things that go into a 'real' apartment. Or degenerates.
What kind of 'motel' are we talking about here, since that keeps coming up? I have stayed in every type of hotel and motel. I have rented 'by the week' places of various sorts, when temporarily living out of state or on vacation.
Some of them are nicer and bigger than monthly rentals with leases. I visited a friend in a leased 'apartment' that was tiny and horrible, smaller than most motel/hotel rooms I had ever been in.
I had thought about staying there to save money until I saw it, and how seedy and run-down it was.
I chose to stay in one that looks like a real apartment complex that happened to offer weekly pay as well as monthly rates with no lease.
The one bedrooms were about 800 sq. feet, with a proper sized kitchen and separate bedroom, but mostly what has determined for me which ones are better are how many people stay there for more than a week or a month, and what kind of people.
Working people like OP who haven't gotten up to a point of being able to fund furniture, deposits, all the things that go into a 'real' apartment. Or degenerates.
hey jen, I live in a motel. you can pay monthly or weekly. i used to pay monthly but i was having trouble with having that much cash in one go because i wasn't good at budgeting so now I pay every week. same price.
at my motel some of them are bigger and have little kitchens in them but most of those get taken pretty fast and are a bit more money. I'm in my room and it does not have a kitchen but does have a minifridge. i stay in this one because i am renting it and don't want to move. I like it here. Its not perfect and there have been break ins but it's actually not a bad place.
People here say i should find something else but i can't afford anything on my own with what i make. i have looked at apts and places but nothing fits my budget. i have to have money for other stuff, not just rent. i wouldnt want to be roommates w/ anyone without knowing them well. Plus I don't know how checking my credit would work since i dont have a lot of credit yet. i just recently got credit card.
people here don't think it's a real place to live but it's the best I can do for now. and there are people here who live here like me. some people are here for work then leave.
If I had more money I would live in a nicer more permanent place but i just don't have the money. Back when i lived in my mom's trailer that place was permamnent but it was a bad situation.
Nah, that's an extreme scenario but does and can happen and if I were a trafficker I'd seek out exactly the sort of gal the OP seems to be: one who can vanish and no one report her missing, not even a neighbor as she lives in a motel. No one will be calling police/hiring PIs to find her.
I think this is more likely a case of the guy using this "lure" as I said in earlier post, that shall never materialize, in order to keep her starry eyed and compliant. This poster -going by her posts in many threads- is a sitting duck for any man with basic manipulation skills let alone a truly nefarious character.
yeah if i were missing i guess no one would look for me. no one would care. i never thought about it that way. thanks? lol. But yeah my mom wouldn't look for me. i got lost when I was nine and she didn't look for me then. Oh well.
Make sure you let your future husband, whoever he may be, know all about your first trip to Paris (tee hee!) and how it all came about! Do be sure to include the fact that it was paid for by an older guy you were casually "dating" and accepting cash from.
Hope future hubby isn't too into morals and values!
That's ridiculous. It's 2018, and if some guy can't accept that his wife/girlfriend had a life before him, than he's not the guy for her. And in this day and age, where young people are hooking up all the time, I really doubt future husband is going to give a fig about her past sexual history.
She's not stealing somebody's husband, and these 2 like each other, however casually they're dating.
Why are you so weird about how she is with her money?
As for the $10 loan for the club: it could simply be that in times past, she did something like this and maybe got burned. Speaking for myself, I hate the idea that I owe someone money. I'd make a point to get that money back to them at the earliest possible time. And if you let something drag on for a while, it gets awkward. Maybe Chloe wants to stay your friend and didn't want that awkwardness of "hey, its been a week where's my $10?"
Maybe Chloe made a post on these forums about somebody that borrowed a $10, then Chloe saw that person the next day, still didn't get the $10 while that person used $1 at the snack machine to get a soda. What the hell!?
When it comes to friends, just accept them for who they are. And if Chloe recognizes herself that she's a bit weird about money, she'd probably also recognize that you are very understanding about her weirdness.
I think that's probably it. I have a good friend who is comfortable financially. We met while working together years ago. She once lent me some insignificant amount--I think it was $4--because I was short when we were picking up lunch at the deli. I then forgot about it.
She was going through a period in her life where she was realizing that she tended to let people walk all over her, and so a few days later she sent me an email and said, "Listen, I am not trying to be cheap, but in keeping with my efforts to not allow people to take advantage of me, do you have that four bucks I lent you the other day?"
I felt bad because I really had forgotten, and I brought it over to her. We laughed about it, but she was right, and I was actually glad that she had said something.
Some people just won't get that post war Eastern Euro blood out of their veins when almost everyone was very poor. That's why they came to the great US and said to themselves, I will never live like that again. This blood still runs strong today and is part of what made this country. "The world runs on individuals pursuing their own interests".
You don't have to have come from another country or be post-war. My mom grew up during the Depression in the USA. When she plans to buy something, she figures the tax and goes to pick it up with the exact change down to the penny. Last time we I ordered Chinese with her, I went inside to pick it up because she's 89 and not too quick on her feet these days. She insisted on paying and gave me the exact change. I went inside and the guy behind the counter was amused because he knows her as a regular customer. The sales tax in NJ had gone down from 7% to 6.625% effective the first of the year, so she was a penny over. I gave her back her penny, of course.
I just can't imagine a guy saying "let's jet off to Paris! " while dropping her off at the motel. Something is off.
just because no one ever was so generous to you guys, doesn't mean it is "off." Upsadaisy is probably pretty - pretty girls get stuff like that.
A sex trafficker wouldn't take her to Paris.
I've had several travel offers when I was younger and I did take some and nothing ever happened. And those who say "but how do you get back if it goes wrong" - I doubt she has a one way ticket.
Upsadaisy, just be smart, make sure you have health insurance and enough money to get food and a roof over your head in case SOMETHING happens.
Most people on City-Data had one night stands with strangers - some even unprotected - so, get off your high horse and let the girl travel. The trip isn't even topic of this thread.
just because no one ever was so generous to you guys, doesn't mean it is "off." Upsadaisy is probably pretty - pretty girls get stuff like that.
A sex trafficker wouldn't take her to Paris.
I've had several travel offers when I was younger and I did take some and nothing ever happened. And those who say "but how do you get back if it goes wrong" - I doubt she has a one way ticket.
Upsadaisy, just be smart, make sure you have health insurance and enough money to get food and a roof over your head in case SOMETHING happens.
Most people on City-Data had one night stands with strangers - some even unprotected - so, get off your high horse and let the girl travel. The trip isn't even topic of this thread.
Lol. Lots of assumptions there...
People are concerned. Rightfully so.
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