Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I was born in 1963, and my childhood memories are the same as yours: people generally left their dogs at home when they went visiting. No one would have considered it OK to bring Fido along to someone else's house as a surprise guest. It would have been seen as terribly rude.
I suspect the kids in question have jobs, which in most cases means the dogs are of necessity left home during the workday. So why can't they leave their dogs at home for the few hours this visit entailed? From the dog's point of view, there's no difference.
I do think that the OP might consider shifting future get-togethers to the kids' houses, as roads aren't unidirectional and the issue can be avoided entirely if she and her husband go visit them instead of inviting them over to her house. But I also think there's absolutely nothing wrong with telling the kids they need to ASK before bringing their pooches over, instead of simply assuming it's going to be OK. And the OP should feel free to say no to that request if she'd really rather not have the dogs around on a particular occasion.
I don't know where you grew up but, the "dog culture" has changed significantly since I was a kid in the 60s and 70s. Growing up, most dogs in my neighborhood had absolute freedom. Dogs lived shorter lives as they were constantly getting hit by cars. Very few were tied or fenced, most roamed the neighborhood freely and would follow kids around so that on any given day, you might see 6 - 10 kids and at least 3 or 4 dogs roaming around together. Then, in the 80s, dogs roaming free became almost non-existent. Every dog was kept on it's property. When I was a young adult and had only one dog, she went almost everywhere (except work) with me. I would not take her to a friend's home, unless she was invited but, I did take her when I went to visit my parents. My step mother hated it, which I enjoyed but now recognize how immature that was. I've always been a dog person so, I don't mind people bringing their hounds to my house but, I do think folks should not just assume their dog is welcome anywhere that they are. Even leaving the dog(s) outside creates a distracting dynamic at someone else's home. Better to leave the dog at home, unless you are certain they are a welcome guest.
No. No one and nothing should come uninvited to your house. It would be one thing if they asked, but if they just showed up? What is wrong with people
This isn't a new "21st Century thing." Well, bringing random pets with you unannounced sure isn't. Being generally rude and inconsiderate might be a 21st Century thing though.
Just about every dog owner I know considers the dog part of the family. So when invited to a family gathering, they naturally bring the dogs. Most of the time they believe the hosts WANT TO SEE the dogs too, especially if children are involved.
Exceptions are made only when someone is allergic or if the dog has problems (poorly housetrained, possibly aggressive).
Deny the dog and you may unwittingly be raising your middle finger at them.
The only part I would have an issue with is that they didn't clear it with you beforehand. It does appear that they tried to be considerate of your new home by keeping the dogs outside. New puppies and older incontinent dogs both need to be taken outside frequently. Since you live 40 miles away (an hour drive?), and assuming they wanted to visit for more than an hour or two, they were doing the right thing by not leaving their pets unattended. If I had nobody else available to take care of them while I was visiting, I'd bring them too, or stay home.
I see no problem with pet-friendly outdoor dining areas.
Dog owners who work leave their dogs "unattended" for several hours every day.
OP, these people were being presumptuous and rude. Rude to bring the dogs, rude to mostly stay outside with the dogs while you were stuck in the kitchen. Reading your post actually made me angry.
I have a dog (my first one, got her in my late 40s, so I'm not a lifelong dog lover, but I love them now). I would NEVER, EVER, NEVER, NEVER (can't stress that enough) bring my dog to someone's house unless that person specifically encouraged me to do so. I would NEVER ask if I could bring our dog, but if the host brought it up and enthusiastically included the dog in the invitation, then MAYBE I would bring her.
There are ways to leave a dog: doggie diapers, piddle pads, doggie door to the back yard, neighbor kid taking dog out for potty breaks, doggie day care place, etc.
If people can figure out a way to be gone all day for work, they can figure out a way to visit someone without bringing their dog.
BTW, I don't bring my dog when I fly home to visit family for a week or two. I use a doggie hotel or find someone on rover.com. Yes, it can cost several hundred dollars but it's my choice to own a dog, and my hosts don't deserve to have my dog forced upon them.
To reply to some of the questions: I’ve been “in the picture†for over 30 years, so I’m not some new interloper. I don’t think they’ve brought dogs before (perhaps once or twice with well housebroken dogs, which these two were not). My husband was probably more disgusted than I was. I will leave it up to him if he wants to lay the law down for the next visit. I made a pledge to myself and to him before we got married I would not interfere with his relationship with his children and so far I’ve kept that promise.
My wife and I have three cats (don't ask; long story). My parents, her parents and my sister all have or have had dogs at one point or another. Although they have asked, they have also not hesitated to bring their dogs to our home. Now, these dogs are potty-trained, so no issues there, but I fear for the well-being of the cats, who scatter to the four winds when the dogs arrive. They run downstairs to the basement and hide, waiting for the dogs to go home. It certainly is a disruption.
On the other hand, I also know that we would have fewer visits and less lengthy visits if we didn't allow their animals to come with them. Dogs require constant care (several walks per day, feeding, playing, etc.) Cats are much less...involved.
Keep in mind, that even though they are adults, they are primarily young adults. If they left their dogs at home, they would have to find a sitter or a kennel, which can be expensive. Additionally, dogs more than cats feel like a family member. It could be all the family they have when they leave your house. Asking them to leave them behind likely feels, to them, like you are asking them to leave a family member behind.
Just about every dog owner I know considers the dog part of the family. So when invited to a family gathering, they naturally bring the dogs. Most of the time they believe the hosts WANT TO SEE the dogs too, especially if children are involved.
Exceptions are made only when someone is allergic or if the dog has problems (poorly housetrained, possibly aggressive).
Deny the dog and you may unwittingly be raising your middle finger at them.
I adore my dog, but I don't feel that way at all. Thankfully neither does anyone I know. I don't know one person who takes their dog uninvited to other people's homes.
Second thing is, it sounds like they did fine once they got there. I bring my dogs a lot of places, but I never bring them IN A HOUSE unless I ask first. If I bring them, they stay in the truck and I take them out for breaks on my own. I do this because of a lack of other options.
It takes a LOT for me to take a trip and leave my dogs back. It's like asking me to leave my kids at home. So when I can't bring my dogs to close-by trips, I just don't go. It's not worth the hassle of trying to find someone to watch them (they are not "normal" dogs and I can't leave them with just anyone).
If you want to see them, work out a way for them to bring the dogs in a manner that doesn't bother you (or you can pretend doesn't bother you). If they were human children, a little pee and puke wouldn't mean they had to stay at home, so find a way to deal with it. Not saying you need to let a dog pee in your house. But really. You can figure out a way to make this work.
What were the rules in your previous home?? If you allowed their dogs previously.....and didn't tell them their dogs would not be welcome in your new home....you could only blame yourself.
I say that you should tell them....and you should have told them when they arrived. Be prepared for them to stop coming.
I think that I would invest in some decent kennels to put into your garage, with some sort of airconditioning if it is hot where you live....to accommodate them.
Also, it will be much easier to clean up a cement floor....them a deck or carpeting imo.
i adore my dog, but i don't feel that way at all. Thankfully neither does anyone i know. I don't know one person who takes their dog uninvited to other people's homes.
Where in the OP does it say the dog owners work? Or that they don't have arrangements in place if they do?
The OP did not say the dog owners work. I was responding to another poster who said the people who brought their dogs to OP's house "did the right thing by not leaving the dogs unattended." I was responding to the implication that it is never right to leave dogs unattended, and the implication that dogs can't possibly stay home for several hours while the dog owners are visiting OP. I'm just saying that dog owners who work figure it out; so can OP's step-family members.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
