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Here is one that I don't think has been mentioned - traffic.
Some people drone on and one, especially after a long road trip "...and then they had a lane closed on I-70 and we slowed down to 5 MPH..." I once heard a conversation like this that went on for about 20 minutes. UGH!
I think the cause of most boring conversation is the unwillingness to really open up to people. I've had great conversations that revolve around sharing childhood stories, philosophy, dreams for the future, etc. But most people don't feel comfortable opening up at that level in this society. I'm really jealous when I read Russian novels and all the characters seem to connect on that level. I don't know if that's an accurate portrayal of Russian society or not, but I think it would be cool.
With me, it is women who talk about jewelry, their Botox or cosmetic surgery treatments, and their poor health; I would even much rather hear/talk about religion (as long as it is philosophy, not specific), politics or kids (or grandkids or pets) that those, although my favorite topic of conversation are current social/political issues.
Last edited by katharsis; 09-05-2018 at 06:51 AM..
Where I live, pro sports are pretty much the only conversation topic that bridges socioeconomic class. I can’t talk about my interests to some random person at a cocktail party. I’m metro Boston. Tom Brady or Mookie or the Celtics are safe topics.
I’ve been at the same ski resort for decades. With those friends, talking about the resort and their management decisions is like discussing the weather or sports.
So who here talks about all their great City Data posts???? Lol
Then what do you talk about . I understand and agree with the above complaints. I think the topics are ok if they qrenet drawn out. What I dislike is when you listen then it's your turn to talk about something and they just go right back on their topic
You pose an interesting question. Someone asks how you are, and you either say OK or tell them how you are not OK. Should be a normal interaction, but often becomes a one sided recital of physical ailments or wrongs suffered.
Weather and sports team progress should be good for a minute or two. Finding out about family could take a little longer. The trick is to allow the person time to share, and for me to offer supportive comments to show I am listening. And then it is my turn.
Other topics are vacation time, young kids’ antics, the latest TV show obsession, community things.
Others have mentioned one key thing—the longer you or I go on about something, the more bored the other person gets.
You pose an interesting question. Someone asks how you are, and you either say OK or tell them how you are not OK. Should be a normal interaction, but often becomes a one sided recital of physical ailments or wrongs suffered.
Weather and sports team progress should be good for a minute or two. Finding out about family could take a little longer. The trick is to allow the person time to share, and for me to offer supportive comments to show I am listening. And then it is my turn.
Other topics are vacation time, young kids’ antics, the latest TV show obsession, community things.
Others have mentioned one key thing—the longer you or I go on about something, the more bored the other person gets.
I once remarked to a neighbor about her new car. I kid you not, she spent the next 20 minutes explaining how she arrived at that car. A detailed explanation of which dealerships she visited, which models she test drove, the various options, features and colors of the different cars, the salespeople she encountered. After a while, I didn't cut her off just to see how long it would go on. Unbelievable that people can be that tone deaf and not understand how incredibly boring it is.
I think the cause of most boring conversation is the unwillingness to really open up to people. I've had great conversations that revolve around sharing childhood stories, philosophy, dreams for the future, etc. But most people don't feel comfortable opening up at that level in this society.
Yes, there is a lot of truth in this, I think you're right. Most people want to talk about the most mundane and obvious things, when often there are subjects I find it interesting to talk about deeper and more significantly, and most people just don't seem to want to converse on that level. It seems like you often have to turn to YouTube (or places like this forum) to get that kind of connection.
For example, newspaper headlines. Most people will mention the "headline news" stories of the day. But most people don't want to delve deeper into the WHYS behind the headlines. The REASONS things are happening as they are, etc. Just seems to be beyond the interest of most.
I have a friend whose grandson's baseball team won the state championship in their league or whatever you call it this year. Of course she is proud.
But to hear her tell it, her grandson made all the winning defensive plays, was responsible for all the runs, and nobody else did anything at all. He plays shortstop.
"He really carries the whole team", she actually said to me, lol. So if only one guy on the team can really play, and they won state, I guess all the other teams in the state must REALLY suck.
We had friends that came to visit us from several states away. They were on a trip and dropped in to see us for the afternoon. We used to live in the same town as them.
They never once asked us how we or our kids were doing or how we liked our new home state or jobs. They did talk about themselves the entire time. And told a long drawn out story about a pro-athlete they got to visit in his home. I had no idea who this person was, but they went on and on and on about it. Then they told more stories about people we have never heard of.
I cooked a big meal for them. The wife ate two bites of lettuce. She said she was having a hard time with her weight on the road, so she didn't eat much generally. Later on in the day she talked about all the food and the huge dessert she had eaten at a restaurant the day before and how amazing it was. I am a chef. My food is really good, so she was just being rude.
I think, in general, people just don't know how to make good conversation. It's a lost art.
What's with some older people who completely dominate the conversation. I know three men and one woman who are like this. They can talk literally for hours. They do not allow anyone to speak. They hold the floor and that's that. We had one of them ruin a Thanksgiving dinner because he wouldn't stop talking. Our sons were home for just a few days and they never got to say anything. Needless to say, the guy was never invited back to our house. He's insufferable, as are the others I know who are like this. ALL of their conversation is about themselves. They don't care about anyone else, other than for an audience. Why do they do it? They can't think it impresses anyone. It's awful. I literally run away if I see these people coming because I know I'll be trapped with them.
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