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When I was young (high school/college age), I used to imagine being a "grown up" and going to cocktail and dinner parties and having fascinating conversations about capital-L life. Imagine my disappointment when I began to attend adult social functions, and everyone was talking "the game," and if there was a t.v. around, they were also watching it. It was different in the movies. :-/
Same thing for me regarding college! I imagined sitting around in berets discussing existential philosophy and obscure French movies...and it turned out to be just a bunch of young adults, not intellectuals, talking about sports, drinking, and just mundane things. It's true that I didn't go to a top college---it was just a small state college, but I'm not sure that even the Ivy League schools would have provided better conversation.
I think the thing is when socializing - is to pay attention.
Does the person listening seem uninterested or are they trying to change the subject ?!
If someone is talking about a subject that you don't care about or know nothing about, then at least listen, show some interest especially if it's important to the person talking.
They may really want to share with you this place they traveled to and want to tell you about it.
Even if you're uninterested show the same respect as you would want if you're talking about something, while important and interesting to you, it may not be to others.
Again pay attention to the social cues.
What I can't stand the most, my ex did this frequently, if I was telling him something that was important to me and he didn't want to listen as soon as I was finished speaking - he immediately went in to a totally different subject and wanted my full attention and feedback.
I told him I'm not going to listen to many things you talk about mainly because I'm not interested, but more importantly you do not show the same respect & consideration.
I didn't realize how I started tuning him out when he was speaking and when he brought it to my attention, I said, you know I kinda thought I was tuning you out, it just happened naturally, good for me.
In general - Can't stand listening non-stop about kids. I'll ask, how are you ? The response is non-stop talking about their kids ?!
Here are a couple more. These aren't so much specific topics as things some people do that can derail my enjoyment of a conversation.
First is when someone introduces a somewhat obscure topic or offbeat way of thinking, then appears incredulous that others are not of the same mindset. Like an engineering-type who suggests a solution to problem based on science principles that most people don't think about, then expresses great surprise that anyone had the problem to begin with. Or someone who loves to cook and knows a lot about food looking at her friends sideways because they didn't recognize the obscure ingredients she just mentioned.
Second is when people who've never had to deal with a particular issue diminish it in the company of those who do. Say you've had to wear prescription glasses for decades and one day you make a comment about how much they cost. Your friend, who's very tight with money and has considerably good vision for his age, goes on to mention all the reasons he'd never set foot in an eye doctor's office.
(Why yes, all of these examples are based on reality, why do you ask?)
I have a friend who is highly intellectual, Jewish, sharp as a tack, 60 years old but always very into the latest current events and politics. She claims that she can complete the daily New York Times crossword puzzle sometimes in (10 or 12?) minutes. I consider myself pretty intellectual, but can never even figure a single word of the puzzle. Anyhow, she once posted on Facebook, a graphic picture of her x-rayed Eye. Too much information ! !
I also saw someone else, post on Facebook a "Go Fund Me" appeal for donations to cover surgery for their CAT. Think I'll pass on that.
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