Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Well she previously told me that she had deep hatred for her ex and his wife and that she wished they were dead, but it surprised me that she toyed with the idea of hiring someone to actually carry out the deed. I got her to elaborate to see whether she actually had a plot. So far I still think she's fantasizing about them being out of her and her son's lives permanently and not actually serious about hiring someone to take them out , but her bitterness towards these people, even after all these years, concerns me.
What is the point of this? Im sure plenty of people have fantasized about an ex's death. She isn't unique.
You're her tenant, not her therapist. How she feels about different people really should be none of your concern. It has nothing to do with your living arrangements. If you don't like living with her, move. What does her ex husband have to do with it?
"I'm a punching bag for someone I allow to punch me. I'm not going to change a thing about it, but please reply to my thread with uplifting stuff , stroke my hair and tell me it'll all be okay, as that's pretty much all I need for a boost. I'm going to remain where I am, of course, because I truly have no intention of changing a thing."
Scratch a "victim" and you'll usually find a victimizer. That's what you have here, a person who uses either real or contrived victimization to victimize others. It's the story of today's society on a macro basis, and it appears to be the story of this friendship. You owe this person nothing; get out.
Actually I've booked multiple separate trips of 1 month or less. Call it what you want but I have no obligation to give 30 days notice. I can leave Feb 3 or earlier.
You could have gotten an apartment and do a month-to-month lease agreement and not dealt with the craziness of an intrusive and loud "roomate/LL". Heck, you could have gone over to an extended stay hotel. You don't value your peace and quiet enough apparently. I think you do like this "friendship".
I've shared a house with my landlord since last year. She says we're roommates and friends.
The beginning was Ok. But soon after the honeymoon phase ended, the problems started.
Examples:
I used to work a 8am-4pm shift. She used to shower until 2am with her bathroom and bedroom doors open, bang around slamming doors giving me no more than 5 hours of sleep. I was tired and started coming late to work. It was a struggle to perform well. I asked her to change her shower routine. She did a bit but it remained late.
She would talk on the phone late, sometimes until 12:30am , again while knowing full well I had a busy full time job I need to be rested for. Her house her rules
When I was preparing dinner in the kitchen, the only time we'd typically run into each other on my work days, she'd make comments about what I was preparing, supervise my cooking by hovering over my shoulder, just being a pain. She said stuff like when I eat late, just like her mom does, I'll gain weight. She encouraged me to go to the gym and pull my shirt out to cover up my belly instead of highlight it
She asked me for all kinds of favors including mowing her lawn, redoing her garden, carrying heavy stuff to and from her car, moving furniture, redecorating her house, hanging up fixtures, cleaning common areas and my bathroom (she's an airbnb host and supposed to do the cleaning, after all she charges me a cleaning fee each time I book a room).., etc. She never paid me for my time and didn't discount my rent. She claimed we're friends and friends help each other, right?
I would foolishly share details about work and each time she'd disagree and tell me I'd think too much, I can never make decisions, then point to past issues where I rented cars for months when I wasn't sure what I was going to buy or lease, she would basically put me down at each opportunity.
As a result of the complaints, nagging , hovering, tracking my whereabouts - I started staying at work later and later, much to the chagrin of my boss who told me to stick to the schedule, and focus on leaving on time, even when I did unpaid overtime and was OK with that arrangement.
I started staying away for 11-12 hours a day to avoid my roommate but she still found a way to make my life miserable with her noise, insults and petty behavior.
To top it off, she's a messy person who leaves food scraps in the sink and on counters and the table for days, used paper towel, you name it. Plus clears her throat and spits her loogee in the sink. So gross.
I must have low confidence to put up with all this and continue to overpay. I tried to leave recently for a couple of nights but came back. I told her I wanted to try 1 week but she refused to accept a 1 week booking and since my stuff was still in her place and I didn't have time to move out with work being busy, she told me I had to extend it by 3 weeks.
And yet here I am. I'm still here and I don't know why. Did the victim of abuse become the abuser and have I become the victim? Help me understand why I put up with this substandard treatment.
Either you have a problem with all the Airbnb hosts , or there is more to teh landlord-guest story.
Im just trying to imagine the amount in extra fees that were paid during all those rebookings to stay at the same place for over a year. The service fees, booking fees, cleaning fees, taxes, etc... can really add up.
Either you have a problem with all the Airbnb hosts , or there is more to teh landlord-guest story.
One year in Airbnb? Its crazy.
I've received several very good reviews and "recommended" from past airbnb hosts. I think this woman is an anomaly.
Yes I've paid a lot in fees over the past year. Since I'm on a temp work contract, I didn't want to lock myself into a 1 year lease, especially if after a couple of days, I knew I wanted to move. So I've tried a few airbnbs but stayed the longest with this woman.
And as far as more to this landlord-guest story, yes I guess so. First, we share a house between only the two of us, so I figured it would be quieter than an apartment or condo where you have noise all around. Second, I thought that she would be a reasonable person (her words) and that I could convince her to behave appropriately and go to bed on time or at least be quiet, but that only worked for small segments of time. She made promises to do better and then reverted to her usual bad habits of noise and messiness soon after.
The more to this story is that I like the sound of her voice- it's soothing when we speak face to face. Oh and when she asked me to do household chores, we would have close interaction, sometimes we'd brush our hands together and the way she dressed and acted around me made me feel happy. She had a tendency to wear revealing clothing and there's no way a woman would dress like that around her roommate if there wasn't trust. So there's more than just the host / guest business relationship and usual roommate dynamics. I also thought she trusted me since she keeps her bathroom door open when she showers, her bedroom door open too, almost tempting me to come visit her. But today when I was going upstairs, she slammed her bedroom door suddenly as I reached the top of the stairs, and I asked her why, don't you trust me? I thought you trusted me 90% like you told me before? Then she said, she's changing her clothes, it's private!
OK so I misunderstood her intentions when she was using me and getting close. I thought she was somewhat into me.
Leave. Don't leave mad, just leave. SOON. VERY SOON.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
