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Eye for an eye. She does the same to me. Constantly asking me when I'm going to bed. But do you think it's reasonable for her to have her bedroom door wide open while she's coughing at night with my room across from hers? Soundproofing is poor with a large gap under the door such that it would be impossible to sleep from the noise. Besides, what inconsiderate behavior.
I've shared a house with my landlord since last year. She says we're roommates and friends.
The beginning was Ok. But soon after the honeymoon phase ended, the problems started.
Examples:
I used to work a 8am-4pm shift. She used to shower until 2am with her bathroom and bedroom doors open, bang around slamming doors giving me no more than 5 hours of sleep. I was tired and started coming late to work. It was a struggle to perform well. I asked her to change her shower routine. She did a bit but it remained late.
She would talk on the phone late, sometimes until 12:30am , again while knowing full well I had a busy full time job I need to be rested for. Her house her rules
When I was preparing dinner in the kitchen, the only time we'd typically run into each other on my work days, she'd make comments about what I was preparing, supervise my cooking by hovering over my shoulder, just being a pain. She said stuff like when I eat late, just like her mom does, I'll gain weight. She encouraged me to go to the gym and pull my shirt out to cover up my belly instead of highlight it
She asked me for all kinds of favors including mowing her lawn, redoing her garden, carrying heavy stuff to and from her car, moving furniture, redecorating her house, hanging up fixtures, cleaning common areas and my bathroom (she's an airbnb host and supposed to do the cleaning, after all she charges me a cleaning fee each time I book a room).., etc. She never paid me for my time and didn't discount my rent. She claimed we're friends and friends help each other, right?
I would foolishly share details about work and each time she'd disagree and tell me I'd think too much, I can never make decisions, then point to past issues where I rented cars for months when I wasn't sure what I was going to buy or lease, she would basically put me down at each opportunity.
As a result of the complaints, nagging , hovering, tracking my whereabouts - I started staying at work later and later, much to the chagrin of my boss who told me to stick to the schedule, and focus on leaving on time, even when I did unpaid overtime and was OK with that arrangement.
I started staying away for 11-12 hours a day to avoid my roommate but she still found a way to make my life miserable with her noise, insults and petty behavior.
To top it off, she's a messy person who leaves food scraps in the sink and on counters and the table for days, used paper towel, you name it. Plus clears her throat and spits her loogee in the sink. So gross.
I must have low confidence to put up with all this and continue to overpay. I tried to leave recently for a couple of nights but came back. I told her I wanted to try 1 week but she refused to accept a 1 week booking and since my stuff was still in her place and I didn't have time to move out with work being busy, she told me I had to extend it by 3 weeks.
And yet here I am. I'm still here and I don't know why. Did the victim of abuse become the abuser and have I become the victim? Help me understand why I put up with this substandard treatment.
Move out. She sounds like a psycho and her being a victim of abuse doesn't justify her behavior.
I gave my roommate a taste of her own medicine tonight and she didn't like it. Here's what happened.
1. She told me she'd go to bed early
2. She's already in her room but I see a light on.
3. So I ask her when she plans to prepare for bed. (she often asks me the same thing often when I'm minding my own business sitting on the couch reading)
4. She replies: she's already prepared for bed.
5. I reply OK and continue prepping for bed myself including brushing my teeth, brushing my hair back, washing my face in my bathroom
6. Then all of a sudden I hear her bedroom open and she walks to her own bathroom on the other side of the hallway. So I immediately think she lied. Why claim she's ready for bedtime, is lying on her bed but then get up?
7. She comes back to her room (I'm still in my bathroom with the door closed).
8. I hear her coughing and think to myself why so loud?
9. I exit my bathroom and what do I see? Her bedroom is wide open!! She's lying in bed but it's dark so I can't see her. Silly me, instead of lighting a candle and going to visit her to see if I can help or if she's OK, I ask her why her door is open
10. She grumbles and tells me I shouldn't monitor her so much (ha ha, maybe she should take her own advice!)
11. She claims it'll only be (wide) open for a minute
12. Four minutes pass, still open. I go downstairs and return. It's closed now.
13. Conclusion? Why did she lie about being ready for bed when she wasn't?
Silly you for getting all sexed-up because your land lady kept her bedroom wide door open while lying in bed in the dark for a few minutes. I think you're looking for signals that are nonexistent.
I don't have any advice because this thread is just... way out there. But after reading it, I have determined that I will NEVER have a roommate of either gender. I'm not sure who is the most disturbed here - the landlord or the tenant. But WOW.
I don't have any advice because this thread is just... way out there. But after reading it, I have determined that I will NEVER have a roommate of either gender. I'm not sure who is the most disturbed here - the landlord or the tenant. But WOW.
Roommates/housemates are OK if one has boundaries.
When in grad school I rented a bedroom/bath from a divorcee, second year rented a floor from a divorcee.
First year she talked a lot, I heard a lot about her surgeries and her oral needs and wants.
Second year was OK too, the lady was nice but certainly not my type.
Boundaries.
OP is enjoying her hot and cold weirdness and fantasies. OP is here to lure people into her romance novel. Perhaps she should write a book.
Move out. She sounds like a psycho and her being a victim of abuse doesn't justify her behavior.
Keep reading. She won't move out. Is the AirB&B homeowner (NOT a "roommate") really the psycho? The worm will turn! There are more plot twists than a triple pretzel to come in this straight-to-Kindle adventure.
This sounds like the OP is gaslighting the woman... asking her out of the blue if she wants to kill her ex, playing mind games about trust and soaping up her feet or whatever. (shudder!)
I often feel bad that there wasn't something we could actually do to fix the situation -- like alert some authorities that a creep and a bully (or whatever) are talking about killing her ex. Good grief.
This is just 100% unhealthy and unreal.
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