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In a situation like this, there could be so many different reasons the person hasn't written back. Some have been listed already. For your own personal welfare, it might work best to just assume it has nothing to do with you. Easy to say, and harder to do, but let's say the cousin dislikes you for some reason ... that is still about him/her, not about who you are as a person. You did a nice thing by reaching out and sharing your memories and stories about your current family. I know from experience in my own family, there are some who would welcome and cherish such a gesture, and others who wouldn't know how to respond due to all sorts of different reasons.
Thank You very much to everyone for the helpful information! I forgot to mention I was curious if my cousin would send me pictures of my aunt and uncle as I was growing up with them back in the mid -seventies. I wanted to show my wife and daughters who they were, this was the main reason I was reaching out to her.
Hallouise, thank you for taking the time and posting your message. I appreciated your message greatly!
Thank You everyone for the helpful information!
She may still respond, if it was recent just give it a bit more time. If not, respect the fact that she has moved on and do the same. I had a long-lost relative track me down via facebook years ago, when I still had an account. I really had no interest in reconnecting with her but was encouraged to respond, so I did. She was all delighted and chatty initially and we exchanged a few emails, and then she suddenly ghosted me and never replied to the last email I sent her. I was kind of surprised and re-read our communication and really didn't see anything that could have caused her to stop communicating. But she did and I do wish I had never replied to her in the first place because even though I wasn't very interested in contact, her ghosting irritated me.
In your case, maybe something happened to this woman.
Quote:
Originally Posted by zentropa
If I received an emotional, 4-page handwritten letter, (followed by being stalked on Linked In) from a cousin I had no contact with since childhood I would be overwhelmed and my gut would tell me not to get involved.
What exactly are you expecting from this woman?
Good point, a 4 page letter is over the top.
OP, you never know what people have going on in their lives, she could be dealing with an illness or an ill family member or other issues. Your letter which sorry was way too long may have also scared her off. You could have mentioned taking care of her dad's grave(which is very thoughtful) in a page or less.
Hello Katnan,
I found out where my cousin worked by searching on the site linked in. Its a career work site with co-workers and previous employees you can search and be reconnected. I sent the letter to my cousins work and requested her on the linked in site but did not have a reply. Thank You for your message.
Which may be totally out of date. Like mine - retired ten years ago. My last employer isn't even at the same address.
She may never have received the letter. But you cannot control that, nor her response, so just wait it out & see what happens. I would let things be, for now.
It appears your aunt and cousin did not feel the same depth of affection as you did. Your cousin might have just considered you a pesty little kid 6 years her junior.
The fact that they moved to Canada and dropped all communication indicates to me that there may be “more to the story” than what you know.
Or your cousin may be suspicious after hearing from you all these years later. A few years ago I got a letter from a buddy of an ex-boyfriend of mine. I hadn’t talked to him (or the boyfriend) for over 30 years. All I could think of was “what on earth does he want?”
Just let it go. If it helps, just tell yourself she never got the letter.
I can think of another reason why she hadn’t contacted you - out of kindness. You remember your aunt and uncle through the eyes of a visitor and a child. Perhaps your cousin has a different perspective.
When I was growing up my best friend lived next door. I had played with her from the age of 2 and we were frequently in and out of each other’s homes. We developed different circles of friends as teenagers but still saw each other regularly. She committed suicide at the age of 19. I didn’t see it coming. I also had no idea her father was an alcoholic.
Your reason for contacting your cousin is not because of fond memories of her but because of fond memories of her parents. That may make it easier not to respond.
Should you move on from trying to make a connection? You have tried connecting with the letter and the specific details. You should move on. The response is up to her.
You're right, elyn. This is a let go and let God situation.
Some neighbors of my parents, great people great neighbors, died some time back. Husband and wife within a couple of months. I sent notes to the three daughters. Never heard back. So be it.
Someone from a running club I used to run with, her husband died suddenly. I learned about it from a Christmas flyer from a Humane Society. I sent a note and photos of our cats, as she and her husband were both big cat people. Never heard back. So be it.
Chapter closed, move on.
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