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I know I will cry alot if I see him perform but I really want to go. Alone. I think my husband will be hurt if I go without him. Would you go alone or just not go?
I have been happily married for 28 years. In 1994 we saw Gordon Lightfoot together and she didn't particularly care for the performance. Since then I have seen him in October 2005, September 2012, July 2013, November 2015, July 2018, and May 2019 alone. Didn't bother her at all. I saw Graham Nash in July 2017 and America in July 2018 without her. And Canadian groups Great Big Sea and Blue Rodeo (or Jim Cuddy) alone a bunch of times.
I am not sure why you think you need to go alone. I think I would tell my current husband that the music brings back a lot of memories for you and that you want to go to see it, with him if he'd like to come. I don't think you need to share every thought you might have during the show, but warn him that you may cry, and let your husband hold your hand and be a part of this. It's simply not fair to hurt him by excluding him if he'd like to come.
I would go, but I'd also talk it over with my husband and see if he wanted to go with me. I know it's your first husband, but I don't see it any differently as if you were going to a concert that reminded you of a deceased mother/father/child. It's another person you deeply loved. You deeply love your husband now. He may be the type to want to share that with you and hold your hand and drive you home.
My hubby and I often got tickets and he went his way and I went mine. He liked being upfront and smashed around . I preferred to be far enough away that I didn't lose my hearing or smell the hideous odor of mj.
We'd meet up afterwards and still delight in the experience of seeing the band.
So just ask the man you made a vow too ...whether he'd like to go and where or if he'll be while your in your own zone. You can experience it. Just do so with a bit of distance ...
I'm going to a Leonid and Friends concert tonight. Alone.
I had always planned on attending by myself. Before he decamped for California, the spouse insisted that he wanted to go, too. He hates all forms of music that are not classical. But mostly he wants to copy everything I do, so much that he will grimly sit with a scowl on his face through 2 hours of music he finds repellent. Imagine how much fun that is for the person who just wants to have a good time.
So I said, "No, this is not for you. This is for ME."
I expect I will get emotional at some point, so I'm just as glad Stone Face won't be there to see.
I have been happily married for 28 years. In 1994 we saw Gordon Lightfoot together and she didn't particularly care for the performance. Since then I have seen him in October 2005, September 2012, July 2013, November 2015, July 2018, and May 2019 alone. Didn't bother her at all. I saw Graham Nash in July 2017 and America in July 2018 without her. And Canadian groups Great Big Sea and Blue Rodeo (or Jim Cuddy) alone a bunch of times.
It has caused no problems.
What you are describing is an entirely different situation than what OP is trying to make a decision about.
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