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When I was 50 years of age my husband was diagnosed with stage 4 melanoma. And between March and January he declined. Ultimately I became his caregiver and he died at home. Most of the time I was home alone with him as the beast overtook his abilities. It was incredibly hard on every level. Helping me a bit was the music of Jim Brinkman. His lullabies soothed my soul during a lonely and sad time. Now 20 years later and happily remarried. Jim Brinkman is going to be performing locally at our concert hall. I know I will cry alot if I see him perform but I really want to go. Alone. I think my husband will be hurt if I go without him. Would you go alone or just not go?
Is your husband a huge fan of Jim Brinkman like you are?
If you are, then maybe it wouldn't be fair to leave him out if he can go.
Brinkman is probably playing in multiple places. So, maybe you could travel further/closer to a place by yourself if you need to make a trade off of some sort and then go with him to another concert of his.
When I was 50 years of age my husband was diagnosed with stage 4 melanoma. And between March and January he declined. Ultimately I became his caregiver and he died at home. Most of the time I was home alone with him as the beast overtook his abilities. It was incredibly hard on every level. Helping me a bit was the music of Jim Brinkman. His lullabies soothed my soul during a lonely and sad time. Now 20 years later and happily remarried. Jim Brinkman is going to be performing locally at our concert hall. I know I will cry alot if I see him perform but I really want to go. Alone. I think my husband will be hurt if I go without him. Would you go alone or just not go?
Have you talked to your husband about this? Why its important to you? You think he'll be hurt? Sounds like you don't actually know? Give him the opportunity to be understanding and gracious. What's going to matter to him is valid too. It could be a complete non-issue once you two talk it over.
My late husband’s death is something we never discuss. I have always sensed he is a little jealous of that memory because my former husband and I raised our kids together and it too was a really good marriage. Over the years that I have been remarried I go alone about once a year to my late husband’s crypt and have never told my present husband I do this. When the subject of my late husband comes up he gets very quiet.
When I was 50 years of age my husband was diagnosed with stage 4 melanoma. And between March and January he declined. Ultimately I became his caregiver and he died at home. Most of the time I was home alone with him as the beast overtook his abilities. It was incredibly hard on every level. Helping me a bit was the music of Jim Brinkman. His lullabies soothed my soul during a lonely and sad time. Now 20 years later and happily remarried. Jim Brinkman is going to be performing locally at our concert hall. I know I will cry alot if I see him perform but I really want to go. Alone. I think my husband will be hurt if I go without him. Would you go alone or just not go?
Aww. You're so sweet.
I would go alone just because that's kind of your moment.
My late husband’s death is something we never discuss. I have always sensed he is a little jealous of that memory because my former husband and I raised our kids together and it too was a really good marriage. Over the years that I have been remarried I go alone about once a year to my late husband’s crypt and have never told my present husband about I do this. When the subject of my late husband comes up he gets very quiet.
Then it sounds even more important to be up front about this. Harboring resentment/jealousy over something no one can change is something he needs to deal with. The upcoming concert could be your opportunity to clear the air. You don't want to be secretive or dismissive; you want to respect him too. Make sure he knows. My usual default is to clarify, be honest, not hide and build all sorts of schemes I have to uphold forever afterward. Seems more respectful. Better an initial uncomfortable moment of honesty than avoiding that moment and being anxious/guilty for years.
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