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I had to google it. I ended up on the song "I See The Moon", and wow. That music is depressing. Not the lyrics, it's the tune and voice.
Beneath the comments are similar to yours, OP. Somehow he's cathartic - listening opens up deep painful memories.
The album Destiny was released in my terrible, tragic year of doing home hospice. I frequently capture the memory of soaking in the bathtub, listening to the tune “Bittersweet,” crying very silently as my sweet husband could finally rest with a round of morphine I’d just administered... after a bitter day of medications, taking him for a walk in a wheelchair, trying to interest him in food, cleaning up his constant sickness, maybe having gone on one of our sometimes 2x daily visits to the ER.... and both Brinkman and Chappell’s piano music soothed us both.
I have been thinking about all this a lot since I saw that Brinkman would be performing on the very same day as the 20th anniversary of my late husband’s death!! I have been so very lucky in that and in this marriage. I was a good wife to my late husband. And perhaps, at this stage of life, I put away the sadness over his absence in my life and appreciate my marriage now. In reverse, I would not want to think my husband “carried a torch” for a former spouse. I don’t believe it is a good idea to discuss this with my husband. I have decided not to go to the performance......
My late husband’s death is something we never discuss. I have always sensed he is a little jealous of that memory because my former husband and I raised our kids together and it too was a really good marriage. Over the years that I have been remarried I go alone about once a year to my late husband’s crypt and have never told my present husband I do this. When the subject of my late husband comes up he gets very quiet.
Quote:
Originally Posted by WorldKlas
The album Destiny was released in my terrible, tragic year of doing home hospice. I frequently capture the memory of soaking in the bathtub, listening to the tune “Bittersweet,” crying very silently as my sweet husband could finally rest with a round of morphine I’d just administered... after a bitter day of medications, taking him for a walk in a wheelchair, trying to interest him in food, cleaning up his constant sickness, maybe having gone on one of our sometimes 2x daily visits to the ER.... and both Brinkman and Chappell’s piano music soothed us both.
I have been thinking about all this a lot since I saw that Brinkman would be performing on the very same day as the 20th anniversary of my late husband’s death!! I have been so very lucky in that and in this marriage. I was a good wife to my late husband. And perhaps, at this stage of life, I put away the sadness over his absence in my life and appreciate my marriage now. In reverse, I would not want to think my husband “carried a torch” for a former spouse. I don’t believe it is a good idea to discuss this with my husband. I have decided not to go to the performance......
Thank you for the update.
I am a widow, too. I also know a number of people who married again after their spouse died. To me the love for your late spouse is like love for your children. Just because you loved your firstborn child does not mean that you can't love your second child and additional children just as much. Love just expands your heart. IMHO, you can love all your children and also love your late spouse and your current spouse, all at the same time.
Your husband should understand and be willing to go with you. Sure, you'll be crying but a good shoulder to lean on wouldn't hurt, would it?
My wife's first husband died almost 40 years ago. Every August, the month he died, I take her to the cemetery to visit him. She doesn't ask me to do this. I know she loves and misses him. I know I wasn't her first love and I wouldn't do anything to stop her from her love for her first husband. I imagine your new husband is probably the same way and would be happy to go with you to the concert. I really like Jim's music too!
Germaine, That was beautifully written. And WorldKlas, I think you made the right decision.
I can only second you on both.
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