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While relationships - family and friends - are the most rewarding they are also the source of greatest pain.
I love my adult kids and their kids, they give me great joy. But they have also given me the deepest pain, the harshest words. But their relationship is very important to my life.
My siblings - they are my history. And it is wonderful when I talk to them, see them, spend time with them. But there also a lot of friction, cruelty, meanness, unforgiving hurt.
Friends - we love them. But they vanish from our lives, lose contact, or turn sour. So hard to deal with it.
When my expectation of others is high, my peace and serenity is low....and when my expectations are low, then my peace and serenity is high so I try to expect nothing of others, accept people exactly as they are, and hope they’ll do the same for me.
While relationships - family and friends - are the most rewarding they are also the source of greatest pain.
I love my adult kids and their kids, they give me great joy. But they have also given me the deepest pain, the harshest words. But their relationship is very important to my life.
My siblings - they are my history. And it is wonderful when I talk to them, see them, spend time with them. But there also a lot of friction, cruelty, meanness, unforgiving hurt.
Friends - we love them. But they vanish from our lives, lose contact, or turn sour. So hard to deal with it.
What do you do keep relationships fresh and good?
Part of it is the amount of value you place on the other person. If you value them highly (a dear friend, family, etc), the reward you receive from them and the cost of things they say or do is higher. You've invested a lot more effort in those people. If you don't value that other person as much you can dismiss what they say or do more easily.
They also know you better inside and out and vice versa. That means you can love them in a much more intense way. Unfortunately, it also means they can hurt you more deeply because they know how.
How to keep a relationship "good"?
Pay attention.
Be kindly honest.
Expose more of yourself.
Be genuine.
Forgive.
Last edited by Parnassia; 11-29-2019 at 02:00 PM..
Because human beings are extremely complex organisms, each one is unique, and only in the rarest of simplifying circumstances is it possible to make all those moving parts mesh harmoniously.
Quote:
Originally Posted by cb2008
What do you do keep relationships fresh and good?
What does "good" mean?
Personally I try to say as little as possible and be as courteous, polite and functional as possible as required by law and social obligation.
When my expectation of others is high, my peace and serenity is low....and when my expectations are low, then my peace and serenity is high so I try to expect nothing of others, accept people exactly as they are, and hope they’ll do the same for me.
Because human beings are extremely complex organisms, each one is unique, and only in the rarest of simplifying circumstances is it possible to make all those moving parts mesh harmoniously.
What does "good" mean?
Personally I try to say as little as possible and be as courteous, polite and functional as possible as required by law and social obligation.
Ok. So are these relationships rewarding, add joy to your life? Or you don’t expect that and therefore not disappointed either? Does this make you content or leave you sensing something is missing?
When my expectation of others is high, my peace and serenity is low....and when my expectations are low, then my peace and serenity is high so I try to expect nothing of others, accept people exactly as they are, and hope they’ll do the same for me.
Also I would much rather be happy than right.
This. I don't expect a lot from those around me other than basic deceny. I follow strict rules when dealing with others.
We don't live in a society where you can expect much.
Ok. So are these relationships rewarding, add joy to your life? Or you don’t expect that and therefore not disappointed either? Does this make you content or leave you sensing something is missing?
I experience joy mainly in my own consciousness.
I have low expectations from relations with other human beings, though sometimes they are a source of joy.
I do not sense that anything is missing; by my measure, one's own consciousness is as expansive and joyful as the universe.
I have low expectations from relations with other human beings, though sometimes they are a source of joy.
I do not sense that anything is missing; by my measure, one's own consciousness is as expansive and joyful as the universe.
All the best!
Beautiful. Thank you.
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