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Thanks for your messages. I always thought that if we had an important issue, we would always be able to overcome it because we would care about the other. it seems like i was wrong...
Let him know one more time that you care for him, then leave him be. Repeatedly contacting him in any way will scare him off even more.
Let him think about your relationship and maybe he'll miss you(as a friend or more). If not, there really isn't any point for you to continue contact with him even if you miss him like crazy.
Not sure what you want us to say. He said he does not have romantic feelings for you.
I know what how he feels about me. That is clear. I was wondering what to do in that situation to at least not lose the friendship... i have tried but this is not successfully...
I know what how he feels about me. That is clear. I was wondering what to do in that situation to at least not lose the friendship... i have tried but this is not successfully...
There may not be anything you CAN do.
He may think that things are different now that you've "gone there." It sounds like you've done what most people would do to reach out and communicate. You can't make him reply.
You ladder jumped, then he "confessed" he wanted to do the same? That doesn't make tons of sense, someone should have acted four years and 51 weeks ago. Preferably the one with testicles. Assuming one party in this case has any, which I'm starting to question. That's a lot of wasted time and sexual frustration to bear.
So, now, some months on, he's done with you. And, what? "Get rid of them, move on," is a great mantra to actually date people.
You "can't" come back as friends again, that's just implausible as everything is changed. I think you're both from a foreign country with very different rules how this all works, courtship rituals figured out 1,000 years ago that make little sense in the West. In the West, if has a shred of self respect, he's decided he has enough female "friends" and must now go find a lover or wife. I puzzled that out in my late 20s. Sharper men figure it out in their late teens or early 20s and waste much, much less time being boy-toys of some woman while remaining sexually frustrated.
The instant I'm friend laddered I walk off. Period. As most men should, that whole 'nice' thing is despicable to women looking for courage and actual interest from a man. No woman wants to sire children with a door mat, though obviously some do if it's between that and nothing. Must be an awful decision for them.
My Indian national, Sikh classmate from Cornell had his parents pick out his bride. That's how they do it, some of them, even today. The parents of bride and groom got together and compared resumes. One was unsuitable as they had no use for each other in-person. Second time nailed it. They are now busy having healthy, genius children and will be towers of industry: in the United States, thank God. India's loss! I bet they create a hundred jobs each, they're so smart (my buddy the VP at tech major, his wife the pharma researcher at another Fortune 1000). Love is irrelevant: it's a business, family, and political dynasty marriage. I approve.
You need to forget about this wishy-washy guy and move on. Completely.
Listen - people put time & action into something that is a priority to them. His actions are telling you very loudly that you are not a priority. It's a bummer to face a reality like this, but you need to do it and move your thoughts to better prospects. That's what moving on means.
This guy is keeping you dangling by his mixed messages. In the end he will respect you more, and you will be glad if you put your needs first and say goodbye.
This is one of those huge life lessons that life is giving you - a gift really. Use it well and do the right thing.
Relationships should always be equal. Sometimes one person has to shoulder more of the load and other times it switches. On balance though, a relationship should be equal. Relationships that work require both parties working together and not one side working overtime all the time. This is true for work relationships, romance, friendships, neighbors, most any relationship.
This is not a real friendship. You've mistakenly convinced yourself it was. It was a relationship based on a condition. That condition is no longer met and thus, the relationship should be ended. This has happened all the time all throughout history.
If he were interested in being more than a friend, he would have responded. I think your desire for more than friendship spooked him. You tried. He did not respond as you wished.
Hard as it is for you, who have emotionally invested in this relationship possibility, just let him go. It is not meant to be.
The sooner you understand the finality of this, the sooner you can recover and find new friends and possibly someone to love you back.
I understand how hard it is for you. I am so sorry. But it is best to accept.
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