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For 5 years, i had a guy best friend. We live far away from each other. When i visited him the last time, i successfully pushed the limits of this friendship. I have confessed my feelings towards him and he said that this is the first time he had feelings for a girl and that he never thought he would get these feelings one day. He promised to visit me soon. One week later, when we were apart from each other, doubts started to unearth. He suddenly was not sure. He mentioned that we are not really compatible, that issues may arise with his family, and lately the fact that he has is not capable of feeling emotions.
The past 5 months, he never called me. He initiated once a conversation by text messages. Im the only one initiating conversations regularly. He generally replies but ignores me for hours.
I have told him that if he wishes only friendship, this is fine with me and that myself, after having been treated this way, i do not feel like having a relationship with him at the moment. He does not seem to believe it and he is wondering how we can come back as friends again after the very short lived relationship.
What would you do if you were in my shoes? What do you think about this situation?
Im tired of fighting alone to keep the friendship.
For 5 years, i had a guy best friend. We live far away from each other. When i visited him the last time, i successfully pushed the limits of this friendship. I have confessed my feelings towards him and he said that this is the first time he had feelings for a girl and that he never thought he would get these feelings one day. He promised to visit me soon. One week later, when we were apart from each other, doubts started to unearth. He suddenly was not sure. He mentioned that we are not really compatible, that issues may arise with his family, and lately the fact that he has is not capable of feeling emotions.
The past 5 months, he never called me. He initiated once a conversation by text messages. Im the only one initiating conversations regularly. He generally replies but ignores me for hours.
I have told him that if he wishes only friendship, this is fine with me and that myself, after having been treated this way, i do not feel like having a relationship with him at the moment. He does not seem to believe it and he is wondering how we can come back as friends again after the very short lived relationship.
What would you do if you were in my shoes? What do you think about this situation?
Im tired of fighting alone to keep the friendship.
Thank you.
I think you should stop fighting. There's no reason for you to keep initiating.
For 5 years, i had a guy best friend. We live far away from each other. When i visited him the last time, i successfully pushed the limits of this friendship. I have confessed my feelings towards him and he said that this is the first time he had feelings for a girl and that he never thought he would get these feelings one day. He promised to visit me soon. One week later, when we were apart from each other, doubts started to unearth. He suddenly was not sure. He mentioned that we are not really compatible, that issues may arise with his family, and lately the fact that he has is not capable of feeling emotions.
The past 5 months, he never called me. He initiated once a conversation by text messages. Im the only one initiating conversations regularly. He generally replies but ignores me for hours.
I have told him that if he wishes only friendship, this is fine with me and that myself, after having been treated this way, i do not feel like having a relationship with him at the moment. He does not seem to believe it and he is wondering how we can come back as friends again after the very short lived relationship.
What would you do if you were in my shoes? What do you think about this situation?
Im tired of fighting alone to keep the friendship.
Thank you.
I'm not sure I would consider initiating a call or a text "fighting" and if that is the current definition of the word then the standard sure has fallen far. My best friend in high school was female and we were like brother and sister. Literally 2-3 nights per week I was having dinner with her and her family and taking her out for coffees. I never once had any romantic feelings for her and I can't say if vice versa were true. If she had confessed a crush it would have made things awkward for sure but our friendship would have endured. All I can think of is the friend of yours must be extremely immature if he can't communicate his way through or around this.
For 5 years, i had a guy best friend. We live far away from each other. When i visited him the last time, i successfully pushed the limits of this friendship. I have confessed my feelings towards him and he said that this is the first time he had feelings for a girl and that he never thought he would get these feelings one day. He promised to visit me soon. One week later, when we were apart from each other, doubts started to unearth. He suddenly was not sure. He mentioned that we are not really compatible, that issues may arise with his family, and lately the fact that he has is not capable of feeling emotions.
The past 5 months, he never called me. He initiated once a conversation by text messages. Im the only one initiating conversations regularly. He generally replies but ignores me for hours.
I have told him that if he wishes only friendship, this is fine with me and that myself, after having been treated this way, i do not feel like having a relationship with him at the moment. He does not seem to believe it and he is wondering how we can come back as friends again after the very short lived relationship.
What would you do if you were in my shoes? What do you think about this situation?
Im tired of fighting alone to keep the friendship.
Thank you.
So let it go. He's not interested, clearly. If he ever is, he can do the initiating. (and by that I mean, don't sit by the phone waiting for him to call. Just figure if he does, oh, that's nice; otherwise don't bother.)
Not sure I'd want to be friends with someone who told me they're "not capable of feeling emotions," anyway.
He's not good dating material in general. Why tether yourself to a guy who doesn't feel emotions and isn't capable of that?
And the attendant awkwardness after you confessed your feelings and explored something different for a week is the proof you need to back that truck up and depart.
Thanks for your messages. I always thought that if we had an important issue, we would always be able to overcome it because we would care about the other. it seems like i was wrong...
Not sure what you want us to say. He said he does not have romantic feelings for you.
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