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I have a relative like this. What I do is delay their gratification. "Oh, you want me to buy you eggs. I am going to the supermarket this weekend. I can get them then."
this is awesome. love it.
think of what you are OK with, such as "going to the store for mom twice a month" "let me know in advance what you need" then it is up to mom to work within that parameter.
I have a relative like this. What I do is delay their gratification. "Oh, you want me to buy you eggs. I am going to the supermarket this weekend. I can get them then."
The issue here is that I dont mind taking care of my mom, but I dont want to bare the sole responsibility of doing everything for her, while she turns around enables my sister. My sister could literally be driving home from work and passing by a grocery store, and my mom would call me and ask if I could get her some eggs. It causes bitterness, and I would expect it to cause bitterness for the average person if they are being treated unfairly. I swear this wouldnt be an issue at all if the responsibilities are being shared evenly amongst us.
Yupe, thats the only place that she travels too. She also finds pleasure in making the airport staff wheel her around because she doesnt want her feet to get tired. I am just tired of seeing her take advantage of anyone that she can get her hands on, not just me.
omw. Doesn't want her feet to get tired! I needed a laugh, thanks!
The issue here is that I dont mind taking care of my mom, but I dont want to bare the sole responsibility of doing everything for her, while she turns around enables my sister. My sister could literally be driving home from work and passing by a grocery store, and my mom would call me and ask if I could get her some eggs. It causes bitterness, and I would expect it to cause bitterness for the average person if they are being treated unfairly. I swear this wouldnt be an issue at all if the responsibilities are being shared evenly amongst us.
Stop responding to those calls. Tell her to call your sister, or to do a better job of planning her grocery needs in advance, so she can get everything in one trip.
Find out who in your town offers transportation for seniors; there's usually a service that's set up precisely to help seniors get to the appointments and their shopping. It's either free, or costs only a small amount. The next time she comes up with a "cancer" emergency requiring a trip to the hospital, simply tell her she doesn't have cancer, and you're not taking her. You said she has a primary care doctor, so she can call her doctor for an appointment for her "emergency". They can usually get a regular patient in within a few days if it's truly urgent. "Cancer" isn't urgent, btw.
You're going to have to stop responding to her every beck and call, come what may. This is ridiculous, OP. Brace yourself for whatever retaliation she may throw at you, and weather the storm. Have you talked to your sister about this? It would help if you two could present a united front.
I have a relative like this. What I do is delay their gratification. "Oh, you want me to buy you eggs. I am going to the supermarket this weekend. I can get them then."
I have seen that work very well with overly needy people.
Heck, don't parents do that with their children all the time?
"No, honey, you can't have cookies right now but you can have a cookie for dessert after dinner."
"No, sweetie, I will not buy you a new doll today. Christmas is coming and you will get some nice toys then."
"No, darling, we aren't going to stop at McDonalds. There is a yummy meal waiting at home for us in the crock pot."
"No, baby, you can't play outside right now. It is night time. We can play catch tomorrow in the sunshine."
Stop responding to those calls. Tell her to call your sister, or to do a better job of planning her grocery needs in advance, so she can get everything in one trip.
Find out who in your town offers transportation for seniors; there's usually a service that's set up precisely to help seniors get to the appointments and their shopping. It's either free, or costs only a small amount. The next time she comes up with a "cancer" emergency requiring a trip to the hospital, simply tell her she doesn't have cancer, and you're not taking her. You said she has a primary care doctor, so she can call her doctor for an appointment for her "emergency". They can usually get a regular patient in within a few days if it's truly urgent. "Cancer" isn't urgent, btw.
You're going to have to stop responding to her every beck and call, come what may. This is ridiculous, OP. Brace yourself for whatever retaliation she may throw at you, and weather the storm. Have you talked to your sister about this? It would help if you two could present a united front.
The disease of ungrateful children is apparently spreading far and wide. No wonder senior homes are a trillion dollar industry today but were almost unheard of only 40 or so years ago.
Karma, children. Remember karma.
I have 6 other selfish siblings who do zilch for their elderly parents. Me being the only one. Do I bother reaming them out? Nope. When my dad thanks me for helping as I leave his home that's all I need.
When she calls to ask you to bring eggs, do you bring them? When she asks you to come read her mail, do you come over? She’s doing what you let her do.
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